17 Photos That Show Exactlyyyy Why People Are Choosing To Be Child-Free (And Why Parents Deserve A Vacation)

All of my friends have kids. I've been to more Bluey, Blippi, and whoever the hell else-y themed birthday parties than I can count. As much as I love being an aunt who gets to celebrate all the fun moments — I also love leaving those events and going home to sweet, sweet silence.

Woman relaxing in a bubble bath with cucumber slices on her eyes
Patrickheagney / Getty Images

Whenever I start to ponder my choice of being child-free, I'll get a 3 a.m. text from a mom friend that says something like, "My kid just had a diarrhea explosion all over the Christmas tree," and I think, "Definitely not for me!" Choosing to be child-free doesn't mean I hate kids, but I definitely lack even a sliver of the patience it takes to thoughtfully handle the chaos that comes with having them.

Here are 18 pictures that show exactlyyy what I mean:

1.Kids approach things that should be simple with SO much chaos — like this poor toothpaste that was twisted into oblivion:

An open toothpaste tube squeezed from the top, with paste overflowing onto a counter

2.And these abused HDMI ports:

Close-up of a PS5 HDMI port damaged by forceful cable insertion
u/dason-freeman / Via

3.These toilet paper rolls that were cruelly sacrificed to the bath time gods:

Bathtub filled with water, bubbles, various toys, and a floating roll of toilet paper
u/dmclb / Via

4.The kid who had personal beef with Newton and his cradle:

Newton's cradle with balls in motion on a wooden floor
u/earthdogmonster / Via

5.Yes, of course that's permanent marker:

Scratches and scribbles cover a white surface, implying a child's drawing or accidental marks

6.If it's not permanent marker — crayons always seem to be at the scene of the crime:

A glass of chocolate milk with colorful candy pieces floating on top
u/MrTerrificPants / Via

7.And crayons definitely do NOT belong in the dishwasher:

Open dishwasher with dishes and visible detergent spill on door interior
u/MrTerrificPants / Via

8.I bet this kid is still grounded for this:

White SUV with child's red scribble drawings on the side
u/hernkate / Via

9.This washing machine leaks now because a kid took a bite out of it, and I wish I could hear the phone call the parent had to make to the warranty company:

Close-up of a washing machine's open door with a visible care label
u/spliffany / Via

10.Biting things that have no business being bitten seems to be a real common problem:

Damaged drywall with a humorous caption about child-proofing not mentioned in manuals
u/kittiekat1018 / Via

11.I know people say kids are expensive, but c'mon:

ripped up money
u/Hayden_B0GGS / Via

12.If you have kids, you might open your pantry for a sweet treat and find empty hopes and dreams:

An opened pack of cookies on a counter with all of the cookies missing
u/[deleted] / Via

13.This kid finished all the cookies and then tried to swindle their parent by replacing them with Cookie Crisps cereal:

Opened chocolate chip cookie cereal box with few pieces of cereal, held by a person, expressing surprise at the small quantity remaining
u/Tayjayjay / Via

14.These parents honestly just have to move:

A social media post about a child urinating in a humidifier with a humorous comment on birth control
u/MrTerrificPants / Via

15.This mom was NOT happy about their kid drawing on their designer bag (even though the bag seems pretty happy about it):

Small pink purse with a chain strap and facial features resembling a cat
u/Rico_TMRB / Via

16.This absolutely haunting note from school:

Note from a child about a potty accident at 3:10 PM, requesting a change of clothes for school
u/erwin4200 / Via

17.And finally, a lot of these kids are just bein' kids — but this one miiight be a demon:

Shelf with overturned cans and scattered wrappers, joke on child's humorous reaction to being grounded
u/Inevitable-Cellist23 / Via

H/T: r/KidsAreCondomAds and r/KidsAreF*ckingStupid