Breastfeeding Can Be Beautiful, And It Can Also Be Painful — Here Are 13 Brutally Honest Stories About What It Was Like For These Women
To celebrate Black Breastfeeding Week, we asked Black women to tell us about their breastfeeding journey, which includes those who decided to do so and those who decided against it.
The special week, which runs during National Breastfeeding Month, highlights the beauty and challenges that arise when breastfeeding is discussed and/or performed.
Here are a few honest, real-life stories:
Please remember we are not here to judge. The choice to breastfeed is YOURS and only yours. No one should ever be made to feel bad because they wouldn't or couldn't breastfeed.
1.
"Breastfeeding has been a job, but my favorite one. My son was born with lip and tongue ties that we didn’t have released until he was 5 months old. So, that meant, for five months, I was breastfeeding and pumping to make sure he got enough milk, and my poor nipples were TORE UP FROM THE FLOOR UP! They were cracked, dry, and stung. My son is 14 months now — I’m still breastfeeding, and I LOVE IT! I literally feel my energy change when he gets on the boob, and I instantly get happier. I plan to have at least three more kids; God willing, I’ll breastfeed all of them, too."
2.
"Nursing aversion was a great reason to stop. Also, the changes in the breast, which are often permanent if you do it for long enough, wreak havoc on any kind of body image issues or dysmorphia you may have. Unfortunately, no one really talks about these things. The general conversations around breastfeeding are very surface-level, word salads. They're also not that inclusive; the face of breastfeeding is typically a white stay-at-home mom."
3.
"I didn’t with my first because I was shamed. I had to stop with my second because her tongue tie reconnected after being cut, and it was too painful."
4.
"I am still breastfeeding my almost-2-year-old daughter. She’s weaning herself and only comfort nurses now. I struggled to pump enough milk for almost two years, but recently, she hasn’t needed daytime milk while I’m working, so I don’t have to pump anymore! My family never breastfed their children, so they don’t understand why I’m not weaning her yet. IDGAF. I have such a close bond with my daughter, and although I want to be done, I’m not forcing it."
5.
"I did not breastfeed because my nipples have been [used as] arousal for sexual pleasure, so I would not have my baby breastfeed knowing my husband kisses me there to get me aroused!"
6.
"I planned on breastfeeding our baby for a few months. It turned into 14 months, and I honestly don’t know how. I always stressed about how much I was producing, which caused my production to go down, and then I would continue to stress even more. I would dread having to see my failure in a bottle. It didn’t help that my baby was just naturally small, so my mom would be like, 'Give her some cereal with that milk; it’s not enough!' I would hear this all the time even when I was overproducing — 'Put some formula in the bottle with the milk, and it will bulk her out,' and 'Are you sure you are producing enough?'
Some random lady at Starbucks said to me, 'Wow, my baby is twice her size, and she’s already 1.' I restrained myself from slapping her into next week because my child was present. There was pressure everywhere, but I can say this: My child was always happy, clear-minded, and NEVER got sick! I don’t regret the stress or the time I had with my daughter during that first year of her life."
—Anonymous
7.
"I hate seeing statistics stating Black women don’t breastfeed! We definitely do! I wish people would realize [the history behind Black women and breastfeeding]. Black women were forced to breastfeed the children of slave owners. My breastfeeding experience was tough, and it is literally a full-time job, but my little one was worth all of it. I proudly let people know I breastfed until [my child was] 2."
—Anonymous
8.
"When I was pregnant, I was very excited about breastfeeding. What I didn't know was that because my nipples were inverted, it would be a painful experience. I tried for two months, but my breasts bled a lot, and each time I fed my newborn, he was getting bloody breast milk. I decided to pump instead, which did not help me at all. I stopped breastfeeding and started my son on soy formula. I felt really guilty about stopping, but the stress from the pain and bleeding was worse overall. If a woman can breastfeed with minimal problems, it's a fantastic way to go for your newborn."
—Anonymous
9.
"I breastfed my first son for the first 18 months in 2012. He enjoyed it, but I didn't so much. I didn't know how to stop the milk flow, so I let him latch until I dried up. He is now 12 with great health, and he's exceptional in his academics. In 2020 I had another son, and I breastfed him for three months. I was able to store a year's worth of breast milk for him. He is very intelligent; however, being in daycare, he does get sick often. Now, in 2024, I just had my baby girl, and only three ounces of breast milk were produced within my two-week exercise. I gave up because she didn't latch on and I was not producing any milk. If I got pregnant again, I wouldn't even bother to breastfeed. It is a hassle, and it feels like you are on demand even when you are tired and exhausted."
—Anonymous
10.
"I was surprised by how naturally breastfeeding came to me and my baby. I had read a lot of stories and articles about women’s difficulties with latching, milk production, and pain, so I sort of psyched myself out. My goal was to breastfeed for 12 months, at which point I began weaning him, and then one day he woke up and didn’t need me anymore. I ended up having a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding/pumping, so I was surprised at how sad I felt after it was over. I wish someone had warned me about how breastfeeding impacts your hormones. It took me a few months after weaning to start to really feel like myself again."
—Anonymous
11.
"My son is 14 months old now, and I knew from the time I found out I was pregnant I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. I got TONS of support from my peers and acquaintances with young kids because they also breastfed. But from my mom and mother-in-law, who didn’t breastfeed, oh my goodness. My mom kept trying to make me buy formula because 'he wasn’t getting enough' from my breast. This was so discouraging to hear when I’m a first-time mom, first-generation breastfeeder, and trying to just figure this shit out. Every other second she was saying, 'I can go to the store and get him some formula,' and no matter how many times I said no, the suggestion would still come up. She had flown in to visit the day my son was born and planned to stay for a week. This nonsense started on day one. I sent her home early.
As soon as my son turned 1, my mother-in-law chimed in, saying it was 'time for him to get off that boob!' I’m still breastfeeding him at 14 months, and she’ll say things to him like, 'Boy, you're not going to be 2, 3, or 4 years old still on that boob. You better get off!' Like, WTF is the rush? My husband and I are in agreement that when my son decides he’s done, he’s done. Until then, I’ll continue being my son’s personal cow."
—Anonymous
12.
"Knowing that I’m not naturally the most nurturing type, I decided to breastfeed as a way to bond with my babies. I think it really helped. I always worked full-time, so dropping them off with my milk at daycare, pumping on my breaks, and nursing at night felt like an important way for me to try and connect with each child. Plus, I always felt like that’s what these udders were meant for, anyway! My husband was fine with it; no pressure either way. He was happy that the kids were getting something free and healthy. My parents thought it was too much strain on me, and if I was going to work, I shouldn’t have to exhaust myself breastfeeding, too. Three of my four kids are adults now, and I think they see breastfeeding as good and natural but not necessary."
—Anonymous
13.
"My breastfeeding journey was met with openness. Before giving birth, I gave myself the flexibility to do it or not do it. The main goal was that as long as my baby was fed, that was the most important goal. My baby was born full term but petite, almost weighing 5 lbs. I knew breastfeeding would provide the best nutrition for my baby and help with bonding, and that's why I wanted to do it. We were told to breastfeed and substitute formula in the beginning. So initially, we did both until both my baby and I got the hang of it. Formula and pumping came in handy when my husband and I took early morning shifts, and I slept.
I highly recommend using a Haakaa breast pump and hand-free pumps that can be inserted into your bra. The pumps freed me up from being a ball-and-chain to a chair. I was free to move and go anywhere instead of sitting down, putting on a pumping bra, and waiting for time to pass. I nursed a little past nine months, and my baby was ready to move on. I did struggle with the usual nursing woes in the beginning, but I had full support from my spouse and family. I also appreciate the information that is out there now. I think my only complaint is with the hospital staff because the lactation consultants and nurses seemed to be on different pages. Luckily, on my last day at the hospital, the consultant was useful, kind, and thoughtful."
—Anonymous
We appreciate everyone who shared their experience with us!
If you'd like to tell your story, sound off in the comments, and it could be used in a future BuzzFeed post or video.
