Would you want your mother-in-law there while you give birth?

Would you want you mother-in-law in the room while you give birth? [Photo: Getty]
Would you want you mother-in-law in the room while you give birth? [Photo: Getty]

A pregnant woman has turned to the Internet for advice after her husband revealed he’d invited his mother into the delivery room.

Giving birth can be an amazing experience, but it can also be stressful, not to mention intimate.

So while you might be ok with your partner there to offer support you might not necessarily want your mother-in-law watching on from the business end.

That’s why one woman has gone online to get some advice about her husband’s bombshell that he’d invited his mum to be an additional birth partner.

Taking to parenting site Netmums, the mum-to-be revealed that the couple aren’t particularly close to their in-laws.

“We rarely speak to his family, most of them still haven’t even acknowledged I’m pregnant and I’m now 38 weeks,” she wrote. “His mum has asked once how I’m doing.”

“I don’t have a great relationship with her or his family. I speak to them when and if I have to and I’m polite but don’t go out of my way to contact them.”

The woman went on to reveal that her husband has now invited his mum along to the hospital while she’s giving birth.

“I’m absolutely livid. I was so angry and upset I just hung up on him and burst into tears,” she continued.

“He rang me back and said well your mums going to be there. I said that’s completely different. I’ve invited my mum, I have no issue with my mum seeing my vagina, seeing me scream in pain and push a human out, to put it bluntly. But to invite his mum is a whole different situation.”

The woman pointed out that it was the same as him being stripped naked and lying on a bed for a few hours with everyone staring at him, but her husband said he’d already asked his mother.

“I’m worried because I can already feel myself getting really over protective of my baby, I don’t know whether that’s a normal thing or not,” she continued.

The mum-to-be ended her post by saying she was planning to speak to the midwife about the hospital rules and finding out if she can ban her MIL from the delivery room and asking others for their opinions about the thorny subject.

Should birth be a family occasion? [Photo: Getty]
Should birth be a family occasion? [Photo: Getty]

Many agreed that the original poster was right to be upset about the situation.

“You are totally within your rights to go mad. I would!” one user wrote. “Some men just don’t get it. It was like my husband when I had given birth, he invited his brother and wife along the next day without asking me. I was lying in a pool of blood on the sheets, catheter still in, and I just didn’t want anyone to come see us until I was a bit more presentable. I was so annoyed.”

“I loved my mother in law but I’d still be absolutely furious if my husband invited someone into the delivery room, that’s not on!” another mum agreed.

“As others have said 2 people only, it’s not a blooming peep show. Daft man, he will just have to tell her, or not call he until baby arrives, honestly what was he thinking.”

“I had only my husband at my birth, but if he had invited someone else without telling me I would be furious,” yet another user penned. “It’s not a show! Your [sic] going to be in pain, vulnerable, half naked, bleeding and pushing a baby out!”

“There will be midwifes in and out poking and prodding you, you may cry, scream, shout, hit (bite in my case oops!) don’t back down if it’s not what you want, the last thing you need when your at your most vulnerable is an audience of whom you are not comfortable with. Giving birth can be so scary.”

Others offered-up a more light-hearted solution to the problem.

Tell your husband that before you’ll let his mother into the delivery room, he must stand naked and produce a bowel movement in front of your mother. He must be remain naked, spread-eagle for at least 12 hours. If he accepts this challenge, allow his mother.”

But some could sympathise with the women’s mother-in-law.

“I think you need to pick your battles,” one user wrote. “Your dh [Dear Husband] shouldn’t have invited her, but he has now, and don’t put him between you and his mum.”

“Really what’s the harm, of her waiting in the cafe. You never know, if it is a long labour, she might get bored and go home anyway.”

“Just let her down gently, say you don’t feel close enough too her too have her in the room while you’re giving birth, and that you’re gonna [sic] feel uncomfortable with her in the room,” another user suggested.

What do you think? Would you want your mother-in-law in the room while you give birth?

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