Ghosting is a modern term coined to put a name to the ever-increasing practice of ending a personal friendship by suddenly withdrawing all communication without explanation. One day you stop hearing from a close friend. It happened to me with my best friend of over a decade and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Well, ok you don’t necessarily lose all your mates the minute you give birth, but you may find you’re no longer on the same page as your besties. What you need is some mummy mates to help support, guide and gossip your way through the motherhood minefield. Well, step forward new app Peanut, a sort of Tinder for new parents which aims to help hook up mums with similar interests and experiences.
Friendships are vital to our health and well-being, they help us develop a sense of meaning and direction in life, protect against stress and provide distraction from the more serious aspects of life. According to Dr Jonathan Leach, “Being part of a supportive social network can lead to better mental and physical health for many people.” If you don’t get out enough make 2017 the year you change that.
After attending her 17th wedding in two years, Tiffany Wright had something of a lightbulb moment. “I’m like a Bridal PA, stress buster, shoulder to cry on and to-do list sergeant major all in one,” Tiffany says of her new role as a professional bridesmaid. Looking back at her own wedding the romance expert, who also runs proposal planning company, The One Romance, realised just how helpful an undercover bridesmaid would have been.
Turns out, that just like falling in love, you can totally fall in friendship at first sight and science has the proof. In one study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers paired up students in their first year of college to have a conversation, then recorded whether they were friends after a few months. Another study reveals that there could be a pattern to who might experience this friendship chemistry and it’s all to do with your personality.
Turns out though that there are actually only four main personality types in the world and the majority of us more or less fit into one of those four. The four personality types are either optimistic, pessimistic, trusting or envious. Optimistic and pessimistic personality types scored equal, with 20% of respondents falling into these categories.
Weddings take a ridiculous amount of organising - planning a large-scale event is a full time job. Add to that the pressure of an actual full time job and little down time between and it’s no surprise tempers flare up. There’s simply too much stress and often that stress seeps out into the bridal party.
Writing about her experiences on the website Mamamia, the anonymous woman detailed how bonkers requests to supply Excel spreadsheets with cake maker’s details eventually lead to an email asking to ‘contribute’ to the bride’s $10,500 Marchesa wedding gown. “At first, I thought Carol was just being a little overzealous when the group emails asking for input on everything from bridesmaid dress colours, hairstyles, make-up looks, bridal dresses, buttonholes for the groomsmen (something I had to Google) and table decorations came flooding through, quickly taking up a large chunk of my day,” she wrote on the site.
Forget Taylor Swift and her squad, this story of three BFFs is going to give you total friendship goals. On Saturday lifelong friends Gladys Butler, Ruth Hammett and Bernice Underwood celebrated turning 100 years old together. According to The Washington Post, the trio were all born in either June or July of 1916, met as children and have been friends ever since.
When Sarah lost her daughter, she offered her friend Lauren her breastmilk to feed her adopted daughter, Arsema [Photo: Instagram/sarah_rieke]
Good friends can talk about anything, from embarrassing sex tales to intimate health concerns, but when it comes to money, it can be a totally different story. Leadership psychologist and director of the White Water Group, Averil Leimon, believes that women should absolutely be discussing how much they earn, both to ‘egg each other on’ and also to arm themselves with ammunition for better wage negotiations - to close the pay gap and ensure women are getting a fair deal. “Conversations between friends can be very, very open, but it often seems like discussing money is the last taboo,” she tells us.
You’ve probably encountered a friendship that leaves you feeling disappointed or frustrated. Your devotion isn’t returned, you feel neglected, the person you came to count on fails to be there in your time of need. Friendships should be rewarding and supportive. If you’re planning on exiting a friendship make sure your motivations are sincere.
The research, published in PLoS One, gave a survey to 84 college students in the same class, asking each one to rate every other person on a friendship scale of zero (“I do not know this person”) to five (“One of my best friends”).
If it’s anything like Taylor Swift’s you may have to do an edit as according to science we can only really have five besties at any one time. A study by the MIT Technology Review looked at a theory by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar in the 90s, who spotted that there was a relationship between the size of people’s brains and how many friends they have. The science bod went on to test his theory by analysing six billion phone calls made by 35 million people from 2007 (way back when we all still used house phones) believing that the frequency of calls between two people is a measure of how strong or weak their relationship is.
2015 was the year of the celebrity Girl Squad. We’ve gawked as Taylor Swift and her gang of supermodels strut in combat lingerie in “Bad Blood,” admired Tavi Gevinson and her precocious and talented group of young feminists, envied Lena Dunham and her real life Girls, and Instagram-stalked Man Repeller Leandra Medine and her #GirlBoss clique. It appears that female friendships — and finding a sisterhood of your own — has never had a stronger or more media-hungry moment, but even before hashtags existed, female friendships were prominent in pop culture. This week, the cast of the 1995 film based on Ann M.
When Cate Blanchett recently told a Variety journalist that she’d had relationships with women ‘many times’ she sent the media into a frenzy over her alleged ‘lesbian past’. When Lena Denham states “I think about my best friendship – which the Marnie- Hannah friendship in Girls is based on – as like a great romance of my young life” does she also reveal an insight that goes someway to explain her position as the current day feminist icon? Without realizing it we tend to judge other women by the closeness of other women in their life, subconsciously marking them as suspicious or predatory if they don’t exhibit solidarity traits (see Angelina Jolie) and celebrating them if they do (see Jennifer Aniston). When Katy Perry allegedly tried to sabotage Taylor Swift’s arena tour, Swift responded by recruiting a collection of her famous girlfriends in a vengeance-themed Sin City style video that in turn celebrated feminine fierceness and served to feed into old stereotypes that women are inherently catty.