Defining a new relationship, or asking "where is this going", can feel like one of the most daunting and intimidating things to do with a new partner. It really shouldn't be, because healthy relationships are all about clear and honest communication. Sure, being vulnerable and putting your emotions on the line is scary. But if you really don't feel you can speak openly to a romantic partner about your feelings, it might be worth examining why. When it comes to making a relationship 'official' - whatever that means to you - it's hard to know when the time is 'right'.
Women on Reddit are sharing after how many dates/amount of time seeing each other they made it offish. Here's what they said...
1. "I asked, 'What are we?' after three months and he said, 'I thought we were in a relationship since the third date.' I’m like, 'But you never asked?!' Him: 'Well, I just assumed haha'." [via]
2. "My now husband asked me out the day I met him. I took a bit of convincing so we officially got together a month later." [via]
3. "Like second date? We both told each other that there was no one else in the picture and that we weren’t planning on talking to anyone else. Our first date was just supposed to be sushi but we ended up spending the entire day into the night together. After that we just kind of knew that we were meant for each other." [via]
4. "With my partner, from the first time we had a casual hookup to the point where we officially became a couple, it was 10 months. It was a slow burn. We had just broken up with our exes the first time we had sex, and neither of us were really 'over it'. We became friends and saw each other very casually, until I got over the worst of the hurt from my last breakup and realised how wonderful my partner really was. We've been together for eight years now." [via]
5. "It was after about six dates/two weeks that we decided we were exclusive. Two months later, I asked whether we should talk about being official. He said he had assumed we were since the exclusivity convo. Oops." [via]
6. "Two or three months for me! I don’t become exclusive until about one month and then it takes another to actually see if it will work out and then I’ll be ready." [via]
7. "We never made things official, it’s been three years 😂." [via]
8. "We became official on our third date, which was maybe a week after we started dating. We had known each other for a month before that. Been together about five years and we're very happily married." [via]
9. "About a month or five dates." [via]
10. "We were 'official/exclusive/whatever' from the get-go. I don't think either of us would've been willing to try out dating one another if that wasn't going to be the case." [via]
11. "Depends on the person. I met my boyfriend on Bumble two years ago. We talked for a week, went on our first date, hung out every day for the rest of the week and became official that Saturday." [via]
12. "It was so complicated. He was a one night stand that turned into friends with benefits that turned into having feelings. Timing wasn’t right. So we broke it off. May of last year we started talking again and it took about two months for me to be exclusive and three months to be official. Not really a number of dates kind of thing. I actually don’t agree with that." [via]
13. "After about a month (four to five dates, but near-constant contact) he told me (when I asked, because I was about to meet them) that his parents knew my profession, a general physical description of me, and that we were in a relationship. So I guess then? He had apparently already decided and just not bothered to tell me. He probably assumed I knew." [via]
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