Woman sparks debate by asking: 'When do you allow visitors after giving birth?'

Caroline Allen
Contributor
A woman questions protocol after her Mother-in-law is insistent on being there at grandchild’s birth. [Photo: Getty]

There are lots of intricacies involved in planning your birth, not least deciding who’s going to be in the delivery room.

For this one woman, it is proving to be quite a difficult task. She wrote on Mumsnet: “Mother-in-law seems quite insistent on being there as soon as I’ve given birth.”

She continues: “She’s quite interfering and loud, although we do have quite a good relationship and I don’t want to hurt her feelings by asking can she wait until we feel ready before she visits.”

This sparked a debate with many new parents weighing in on the woman’s predicament.

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The views were mixed, with many women feeling that the new parent should let her mother-in-law visit.

The woman was worried that her mother-in-law being there would prevent quality skin to skin time with her newborn.

One user said: “So you want your mum present at the birth but MIL isn’t even allowed to visit after the baby is born? Why would MIL being there prevent skin to skin and breastfeeding?”

This skin to skin stuff is literally minutes or seconds in a lot of situations. Don’t sweat it. Sounds like you are putting so much pressure and ideals on yourself,” another commented. 

READ MORE: Women with two wombs delivers twins

It’s a topic which really divides opinions, with some women agreeing with the woman that only herself and her partner should be present at the birth.

The woman had also toyed with the idea that her mother should be present at the birth, too.

I have to say that I think it’s a bit strange to have your mother at the birth,” one woman commented, “it would never have occurred to me that I would want or need my mother there.”

A lot of advice suggested she should “wait and see” how she feels, and that seems to be the most popular suggestion of all.

“You may want company, you may not,” one mother said, “I’d recommend dealing with them when they present themselves.”

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