A woman has sparked a debate after claiming that the love she has for her boyfriend makes her act like his “mother,” and that a man who is “truly in love will act like a child”.
In a TikTok video posted on 3 January, Lucía, who goes by @lucia.davoo on TikTok, shared clips of herself and a man who appears to be her boyfriend. In the text overlaying the video, and in the the voice captions, a man describes what a relationship between a man and woman is like when they are “truly in love”.
“When a boy is truly in love, he will act like a child,” the text reads. “But when a girl is truly in love, she will act like a mother.”
This clip has more than 6.2M views so far, with TikTok users expressing mixed feelings over the video, as some have claimed that the dynamic in Lucía and her boyfriend’s relationship is reminiscent of psychologist Sigmund Freud’s theories.
Some people have claimed that the couple’s relationship could be an example of the Oedipus complex, a theory developed by Freud, which “refers to the child’s desire for sexual involvement with the opposite sex parent,” according to Verywell Mind. More specifically, this can be a result of a boy’s sexual attraction to his mother, which is “kept out of conscious awareness through repression.”
“Freud has done it again,” one user wrote, while a different one claimed: “Sigmund would be overjoyed by this news.”
Someone else joked: “Every day y’all get on the internet and prove Freud right.”
Another viewer, @joan.milbs, shared a video of herself responding to Lucía. In the response video, Joan looked shocked, while the caption said: “FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS Y’ALL.”
“ARE WE ABSOLUTELY SURE WHAT DIRECTION WE’RE GOING???” Joan wrote in the caption.
Other viewers took issue with the suggestion that women in relationships should take on a mother-like role and that it is okay for men to act like children, with some explaining that they would never want a relationship where their significant other acts like a child.
“When a boy is truly in love he will not expect his girlfriend to be his second mom,” one TikTok user wrote.
Another said: “...Well, have fun babysitting your boyfriend. Sounds like a healthy and mature relationship.”
However, there were also some who disagreed with the criticism and the claims that the video was an example of the Oedipus complex, as one viewer said: “I don’t think it means the women will act like the man’s mother. More like she wants to take care of him, protect, care, support and nurture.”
Speaking to The Independent, Lucía, whose response was translated using Google Translate, addressed the criticism of the video.
“I think there has been a lot of confusion regarding the audio,” she explained. “I didn’t use it with the intention of describing my relationship with him at all. I simply saw a video with that audio and used it, without thinking about the consequences that it would bring.”
“The truth is that I think that everything has been taken to an extreme since it is a simple video that has been very wrongly interpreted,” she added. “The fact of “boy” refers to when he is silly or makes me laugh and the fact of mother could be reflected in small details such as reminding him to bring a jacket, just taking care of him just like he does me.”