Woman Refuses to Help Friend with Wedding Planning Because She Was Not Asked to Be a Bridesmaid

A woman feels like she's being taken advantage of by her bride-to-be best friend.

The 24-year-old woman detailed the situation on Reddit's "Am I the A------" forum, explaining that she and her close friend since middle school have always talked about being involved in each other’s weddings. When her friend got engaged, she asked the OP (original poster) to help with wedding planning.

However, when the bride showed the OP her list for the bridal party, her name was not included. When the OP questioned it, her friend awkwardly explained that "she had to make some choices."

The bride’s small bridal party includes her sister, her fiancé’s sister and even a few friends whom she’s only known for a couple of years.

Related: Bride 'Insults' Family by Getting Their Names Wrong on Wedding Shower Invitations and Demanding Cash Gifts

"I didn’t want to make it a big deal," the OP wrote of being excluded. "I congratulated her and figured I’d still be a guest — but then she started asking me for a lot of help, things like dress shopping, DIY decorations, venue hunting, making party favors, etc."

The frustrated OP eventually confronted her friend and said she feels "weird doing all of this when I’m not even a bridesmaid." The bride reacted angrily in response and claimed that she thought her friend would still want to be involved, given their close friendship.

"I told her I’d still be at the wedding, but I wasn’t gonna do all of this extra work when she didn’t even consider me close enough to be in her bridal party," the OP recalled.

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Now, the OP is feeling targeted by the bride and their mutual friends, who have accused her of "being petty and making the wedding 'about me.' " She ultimately decided that she is "not gonna be doing bridesmaid-level work if I’m not one."

Related: Pregnant Woman Refuses to Let Husband Attend His Sister's Wedding

The OP concluded her post by asking fellow Redditors if she’s in the wrong, and several people in the comments section jumped to her defense.

"She chose her new friends over you," one person wrote of the bride. "If the bridal party was strictly family, it would be one thing, but she wants you to do all the work for her without actually being a part of the gown shopping and hair and makeup. That is extremely hurtful and would make me rethink the friendship and even attending the wedding."

Another commenter wrote that the bride is "ballsy for asking for your help." They added, "I get not wanting to have a big bridal party, but it sounds like she has four people. Five is not too many."

A third person echoed the previous sentiments and pointed out that "guests don’t organize the wedding."

"The couple, supported by the bridal party, organizes the wedding," the person wrote. "Unless they are paying for wedding planning services. Assuming you've not agreed [to] a fee, your only job as a guest is to turn up on the day."

Another Redditor encouraged the OP to reconsider her relationship with the bride, and even urged her to skip the wedding altogether.

"You aren't this person's best friend," the person wrote. "You might be a longtime casual friend or a longtime person who just does stuff for her. Concentrate on real friends who you have a reciprocal relationship with."

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