A 27-year-old woman is considering dumping her boyfriend thanks to the bold decorating decision he made simply to play video games.
Her 23-year-old boyfriend, she explained, is “really interested in virtual reality,” though the “tiny studio apartment” they share is hardly big enough for him to “jump around in” when he immerses himself in VR.
Well, throwawayvr000’s boyfriend finally decided that he needed more space — and in order to create it, he completely rearranged the apartment without throwawayvr000’s permission.
‘Our entire home is being compromised’
Recently, throwawayvr000 came home to her boyfriend dismantling their bed. When she asked what had happened, he told her that he’d ordered an Oculus Quest headset and “made the executive decision that [they] could swap [their] double bed for a Japanese futon.”
“There is no f****** room for this,” throwawayvr000 wrote. “Even if we lived on the ground floor (which we don’t), and I was willing to sleep on the floor (which I’m not), the room just isn’t big enough. It would dominate the entire room. Am I supposed to crouch in the kitchen whilst he plays? Our entire home is being compromised for what is effectively a video game.”
Though throwawayvr000 has expressed her concerns, she said that her boyfriend “thinks he’s being entirely reasonable.”
“I don’t even know what to say to him here since the whole thing seems so ridiculous and he’s so obviously being unreasonable yet is oblivious and keeps saying I’ll really enjoy vr and it’ll all be worth it,” she said.
Though she loves her boyfriend, throwawayvr000 said this could be the final straw for her.
“If it wasn’t so difficult right now I’d be considering moving out or leaving,” she wrote. “I told him I’d throw it out the window when it arrived unless he was going to sit down and have a serious conversation about this but he just won’t take anything I say seriously.”
‘He doesn’t care about your opinion’
The overwhelming majority of people told throwawayvr000 to leave her boyfriend, noting that he “thinks his actions don’t have consequences.”
“He was dismantling the bed when you were away so he could finish the job before you got there, so that you’d be powerless,” one person said. “He doesn’t care about your opinion enough to talk about it with you … or enough to use his own common sense!? He definitely needs a good shake up, you’ve got to give him an ultimatum cos he’s acting like a child so he needs to get treated like one really.”
“You learned something wonderful today: who your boyfriend is, what he prioritises, and how much your opinion means to him,” another user added. “He was willing to give you no say, no choice, and no place to sleep. He has dominated your living space. He has forced you into a corner. While it doesn’t seem like a wonderful thing to learn about your SO, you’ve been lucky enough to see it a year in.”
However, some people think the relationship is still salvageable, so long as throwawayvr000 makes it clear how the situation is making her feel and what her boyfriend’s actions are communicating to her.
“As others have said, you need to lay out to him in respectful but in no uncertain terms exactly what his doing this communicates to you, how it makes you feel, and what questions it calls to mind regarding the longterm viability of your relationship,” one user, who identified as a therapist, said.
“One thing is absolutely true: we teach people how to treat us,” the user added. “This is your opportunity to teach him something he has forgotten, or else to clear up any misconceptions he may have formed previously in the relationship – that you deserve respect.”
If you enjoyed this story, In The Know also wrote about a woman who’s considering leaving her boyfriend over his “ludicrous” business idea.
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