Weruche Opia: The real reason you're obsessed with I May Destroy You
I May Destroy You, written and starring Michaela Coel, has become not only one of the most talked about shows of 2020, but also one of the most important. Tackling themes of sexual consent, assault, race, friendship and identity, it deftly moves from tragic to funny, creating a compelling series that never shies away from tough subjects. Ahead of the finale this week, Weruche Opia, who plays Terry, explains why we're all so invested and captivated in Coel's hit show.
I was filming a pilot in the US when I got the call saying I’d got the role as Terry in I May Destroy You. To say I was over the moon would be an understatement, but I didn’t quite realise the magnitude of it all until I was on the plane back to London and I started reading the script in full. I’d never come across anything like it before – it was and is so visceral. The language is very specific to London… I could hear the characters talking in the same vernacular as some my friends. There’s such a rawness and a frankness to it. I didn’t sleep the whole flight. I was looking around at everyone thinking, ‘you have no idea what I’m experiencing right now. You’re sleeping and I am reading something truly incredible.’ Even then, I didn’t realise just how much of an impact it was going to have. I was just content to be part of it.
I landed the part after three auditions and the last was with Michaela. We did a scene together and it felt so innate. I’d never had an audition like it – the chemistry between us was palpable. I’ve told people that it felt like being on an amazing first date. I walked out of the casting office thinking, ‘well that was incredibly cute!’ Even then, I nearly didn’t take the role. Based on my Christian faith, I prefer not to act out sex scenes or nudity in my work, and when I read Terry’s sex scene, which is fairly explicit, I wasn’t sure how things would pan out. I spoke with my agent and let her know I wasn’t comfortable with the scene as it was, but would be happy to discuss alternatives and see if there was a way to work around it without my compromising myself while keeping artistic integrity. If not, I thought, then I’ll have to miss out because it's important to me to always be true to myself.
As an actor, you often feel hesitant to say you’re not comfortable with something out of fear of being branded difficult or losing a role. Fortunately, we came to an understanding and I was offered the use of a body double. I understood that that part of Terry’s story needed to be told, but I was also glad that I wasn’t put in a position where I felt pressured to do what I didn’t want to do. On set we used an intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien, and although I wasn’t acting out those scenes myself, she still spoke with me to ensure that I was happy with what would be done, creating a respectful and safe space. The scene itself was done on a closed set, so I wasn’t there when it was filmed. Perhaps the cast feeling so respected and comfortable contributed to how realistic those scenes were. I hope that it will become an industry standard to have an intimacy coordinator for any sex or nude scenes. In fact, it should be the bare minimum.
I never quite predicted the effect I May Destroy You would have. Its success so far could be a culmination of a few different factors. We’re all at home at the moment and we’re all going through a number of global pandemics together - I’m talking about racism and also covid-19. Our attention is focused in the same places. The issues it tackles are at the forefront of our minds right now - it’s about sexual consent, which has been highlighted over the last few years with the #MeToo movement. It also coincides with the current global racial tensions, and the importance of how Black people are treated and represented both on-screen and off. A show like this can be powerful in that it’s arrived at a time when a lot of people are reassessing their thoughts and how they see the world in relation to racism. I May Destroy You is important because it presents a reality of a Black experience at a point when people are paying attention and becoming more aware about these issues. Audiences are more likely to be receptive to reassessing their views and biases, ready to educate themselves, change and view life in a more just light.
If the series had come out in March, before the death of George Floyd, it still would have made an impact – it’s one of those pieces that feels completely unique - but that impact has been heightened because of what we’re experiencing right now. I hope it changes people for the better.
The show isn’t just about race. It works on a number levels. The way that it explores sexual assault and rape is unique and those scenes are searingly realistic. A lot of people have told me that they couldn’t watch certain parts because it felt too real and that’s a testament to Michaela’s ideas, writing and execution. It was especially painful to watch the scene where Kwame reports his assault to the police; the lack of empathy or care for a victim of sexual assault was heartbreaking. I hope it highlights procedural problems that need to be looked at and addressed accordingly.
It also explores the grey areas of consent in a way that few shows do; these issues need much better clarification and some people will understand those areas better as a result of this. I’d never heard of ‘stealthing’ before, but I found out through the show what a common crime it is. In fact, it’s been going on so long that it’s classified as sexual assault. There are a lot of people who have either experienced these issues first-hand or know someone who has, who might be struggling with feelings of violation or shame, or even confused about whether they’re entitled to those emotions at all because they’re unsure if what happened to them was, in fact, a crime. Some will watch these scenes and feel as if they can now address what they’ve gone through and know that they’re not alone. They’ll be stronger for dealing with them. I hope there will be more discussion after this about the idea of ‘what counts’ and how those greyer experiences can damage us emotionally and physically and what must be done to put us on a path of healing.
Another key theme in the show is female friendship. Terry and Bella are each other’s soul sisters (I don’t believe that our soul mates necessarily have to be romantic partners), and hopefully everyone has someone they connect with on that level. Bella and Terry may have disagreements, they might fight, but they always find a way back to each other. They choose to love each other regardless of what happens. They’ve been in the trenches since they were young – this friendship has survived decades and they are still growing side by side. They’re going through different experiences, but they choose to have each other present in their lives and that’s especially beautiful to see. They make mistakes, but they are able to forgive each other and grow as a result. It’s warming to see the depths and nuances of our closest friendships represented and reflected on TV.
The tone of I May Destroy You is also part of its appeal. As in life, there are moments of humour in the darkest times. The themes are heavy and Michaela has balanced it perfectly, seamlessly moving between light and dark. The audience is with the characters at their darkest moments, but then at the right time, it's alleviated with humour. The show takes you on a journey of the characters' ups and does, reflective of the peaks and troughs of real life.
There’s been a lot of talk about what I May Destroy You refers to – who is destroying who? I asked Michaela this very question and her response was that it's open to interpretation – it’s deliberately ambiguous. Any of the characters in the series could have been destroyed by the experiences we see them go through. Everyone is possibly destroying each other.
Will there be a second season? Who knows? We’ll have to wait and see. Season one is sensational in itself… even as a limited series, I’d be content with that.
As told to Ella Alexander.
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