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I wanted to hate Dyson’s super-pricy hairdryer. But guess what?

This is not the column I expected to write, because I find myself unable to prove the point I intended to make. The point being that if you find yourself in any of the very common predicaments of not being able to accommodate, or not wanting to prioritise, the cost of the coveted Dyson Supersonic hairdryer (£329.99, to be precise), or if you decide that your political beliefs prevent you from handing over what is a staggering amount of money to billionaire industrialist and Brexit cheerleader James Dyson, I could say here, “Don’t worry! This much cheaper one is every bit as good!”

The problem is that I have tried and I can’t. For full disclosure, I have been sent, at one time or another, all three Dyson hair tools and rate them honestly as follows. The Corrale straightener is extremely good: I like it a great deal and use it regularly, but I find it too bulky for travel (instead, I keep a Babyliss cordless version permanently in my suitcase). I could easily live without it if I had to.

When I left my Supersonic in a faraway hotel room, I couldn’t slam down my card fast enough for a replacement

The hugely popular Airwrap multi-styler I like much less. It is insanely expensive (£479.99), hard to use and not, in my opinion, as effective as any of the separate hair tools (dryer, curler, styler) it claims to consolidate into one gadget. I gave mine away, and prefer my GHD Creative Curl Wand (£139), Glide Hot Brush (£159) and far more affordable Babyliss Big Hair spinning blowdryer (£70). The Airwrap is useful if your home space is very limited – unlike your budget.

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Finally, to give credit where it’s more than due, the Dyson Supersonic hairdryer is terrific, better than any I’ve owned, drying hair notably faster and more quietly. The magnetic attachments are excellent. And while I wouldn’t normally spend my own cash on the other Dyson tools, when I left my Supersonic in a faraway hotel room, I couldn’t slam down my card fast enough for a replacement. I would do so again.

So that’s where I am. I hate his politics and worship his hairdryer, and if you can’t make those things work in tandem, I rate the GHD Air Dryer, still pricey at £119, but very lightweight, faster than your average, and it doesn’t make a racket.

My other choice is a Parlux 3200 Plus (formerly known as the Compact, £84.95), available from most beauty supply stores). It’s quieter, lighter and even gutsier than its predecessor, and is what I would use were I not now inextricably – if guiltily – attached to my Dyson.