Television personality Vicky Pattison says she felt so “lost and alone” after winning I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here in 2015 that drinking took over her life.
Speaking to The Sun on Sunday, the 34-year-old reality star opened up about her struggle with alcohol, revealing that she used to have “about ten drinks a day”, including “wine, spirits, anything really”.
However, she does not view herself as an alcoholic and said she “works really hard” not to follow in her father’s footsteps as he has been in and out of hospital, rehabilitation and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for years.
“I absolutely adore my dad, it would be so easy for me to be like him,” Pattison said, adding: “I’m not absolutely convinced I’m not.
“I want to be this version of myself that I am today, because the alternative isn’t worth thinking about. I can have a couple of glasses of wine and be the life and soul of the party, but if I fall over there is no off switch.”
Pattison continued to say she wanted “more out of life than what my dad has had”, including a happy marriage, a good relationship with her children and to be successful.
“I hated myself back then. I work very hard to not become that person,” she said.
When she won I’m A Celebrity seven years ago, Pattison – who had previously appeared on Geordie Shore – garnered 80 per cent of the votes and was inundated with job offers afterwards.
She told the newspaper that although she had “this shiny new career”, she was “convinced that people would realise I wasn’t anything special and it would all be taken away”.
“I was turning up late for jobs. I don’t think I ever turned up drunk, I always slept, but I was not in a fit state to work,” she revealed.
“When you’re going talk shows you want to be witty and warm, bright-eyes and bushy-tailed, not still shaking off the lethargy of five gin and tonics.”
She admitted that her behaviour was becoming “unprofessional” and that she was “jeopardising everything I’d ever wanted and worked for”.
Being drunk made her “sloppy and aggressive”, said Pattison, which led to her feeling hungover and ashamed. However, it resulted in a vicious cycle.
“And what gets rid of that?” she added. “Having a drink.”
After her management intervened, Pattison said she “stepped up” her therapy and now feels she is in a “happy place”.
The interview comes ahead of the launch of her new book, The Secret to Happy, which is part autobiography.
Pattison said she wants people who will read her book to “know they’re not alone2.
“It’s not a self-help book – it’s more like the bad girls’ bible,” she said.
The Secret To Happy will be released on 6 January.