What I’ve learned from taste testing 290 Australian supermarket products: ‘Aldi has the best and worst of everything’
For the past year, I’ve been eating my way through the supermarket aisles of Australia. I’ve had 17 different yoghurts, more than 40 varieties of potato chips, 17 different ginger beers and almost every can of baked bean you can get. All up, I’ve tasted more than 290 goods and spent more than 200 hours eating, discussing and thinking about supermarket aisle foods. It has left me with a more investigative style of shopping, a moratorium on hot chocolate purchases, and the most wishy-washy take on subjectivity versus objectivity in food criticism.
And in response, I have been met with a colossal weight of opinion. I have been writing about food for more than a decade but the last year of my life has brought more comments, congratulations and insults than the rest of my career combined. So, it feels timely and relevant that now, at the end of the year, I share some of mine.
Health food products are the enemy of joy
Before I started doing reviews of supermarket products, my relationship with “health” foods was like my relationship with clubbing: I didn’t really think about them much despite having a few memorably great and horrendous experiences.
But after trying a parade of “no sugar” products with sweeteners that taste like the chemical factory experiment that would birth a new supervillain, and substitute products that somehow smell or taste like play-dough (I’m shocked how often this came up), I’m now thinking about them a lot. How to avoid them, whether they’re actually healthy and why anyone buys them. If you want a good-quality, healthy version of something on the supermarket aisle, and you have the resources, it’s better to make it yourself.
For all the hobbyists: choose your taste test subject wisely
When I sent word out I was going to be hosting a taste test of supermarket anchovies, many of my usual taste test companions were suddenly busy while others worried dehydration or sheer intensity would either permanently inhibit their ability to taste or enjoy fish ever again. They couldn’t be more wrong.
It was the first taste test (alongside sliced cheese) not to feature a single complaint about the number of rounds. And, unlike all the other taste tests which ended with a mess of gurgles, zombified reviewers and futile attempts from me to shift goods, this one finished with a discussion of whether there’s a cooked, non-sweet recipe that wouldn’t welcome the addition of an anchovy.
Despite the far greater interest in drinking many hot chocolates, after three rounds of it, everyone in the room knew they would never want to buy another supermarket hot chocolate for the next year at least, and probably the rest of their lives.
Why I now shop at Aldi
I think of the German-owned supermarket chain the same way I think of the United States: it has the best and worst of everything. Most taste tests featured two Aldi products, with one being widely panned (an Aldi product came either last or second last in six taste tests) but the other would end up being awarded best value (this happened in almost half the taste tests) or winning altogether (vanilla ice-cream, milk chocolate and chicken stock). How to pick between the golden egg and a future nightmare? That’s part of the experience.
Everyone wants to come to a taste test until they’re halfway through one
Over the past year, I’ve probably received more than 100 requests from people who want to join me for a taste test – including strangers on social media (and once on public transport!), friends of friends, my mum and people I work with in other environments. Everyone wants to share their opinion. I have no doubt they have things to say after eating one product but not many have something to say after the 15th.
During a chips test – one of the most agreeably bingeable foods on earth – there were roars of complaint when I announced there was an extra round. My partner has attended many. Almost every time, she starts full of enthusiasm – she shares her thoughts, writes compelling analogies in her notes and grins at me knowing her wit will see her included in the final copy – but halfway through I’ll get a different look, like the one she gave me when I asked if she could make dinner while I finished writing this (I’m usually the cook at home). It says: I really don’t want to do this; how can I get out of it?
It’s only after tasting the worst that you appreciate the best
Finally, I’d like to commend Kettle Original Salt and Kettle Chilli chips, Birds Eye Golden Crunch Potato Gems and Skippy Super Chunk Peanut Butter for being the only products out of 290 I’ve tried to score 9/10 or 4.5/5.
And to Lovin’ Body Raw Cacao Drinking Hot Chocolate, Daily Juice Co Orange Juice Pre and Probiotics, and Burts Lightly Sea Salted and Burts Mature Cheddar and Onion: thank you for showing me what real joy is – as any football fan will tell you, it is only after experiencing the agony of loss that victory feels so good.
