Tulisa says being demisexual ‘put me so far back into my shell’
Tulisa has spoken candidly about how identifying as demisexual has defined the way she dates, explaining that she only "[deals] with people [she] already knows".
The singer-songwriter, who recently appeared on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, said that the combination of being demisexual and her past experiences have "put me so far back into my shell".
Tulisa, 36, spoke about her sexuality during her time on I’m A Celebrity. She described being demisexual as needing to have "a really close emotional bond with someone" in order to feel physically attracted to them.
In a new interview with The Guardian, the former N-Dubz star said: "I’ve kind of always been that way. But me being that kind of person, and then having the experiences I’ve had, has put me so far back into my shell.
"I only deal with people I already know. I’ve just recycled ex-boyfriends for the past 10 years. A new person coming in doesn’t have a chance."
She continued: "I just ask myself, 'Would I keep this person in my life, even as a friend, for the rest of time?' And if I don’t have that feeling, I wouldn’t want them as a lover. I just don’t get the tingles."
Tulisa added that she "can really appreciate aesthetics" if she sees someone "gorgeous" and can understand why other people may feel physically attracted to them.
"But doing anything physical with him wouldn't even cross my mind," she said.
During her stint on I’m A Celebrity, she told her fellow campmates that her priority is "connection and the emotions that I feel with someone and then wanting to express them in that way”"
Demisexuality means a person typically only feels a sexual attraction to someone after forming a close emotional connection.
This sexual orientation falls within the asexuality spectrum - but is not the same as being asexual, which usually refers to people who experience little to no sexual attraction to others.
Sex expert Isabelle Uren explained to Yahoo UK: "Generally, people who are asexual don’t feel sexual attraction and may not feel a desire to engage in sex with a partner, whereas people who are demisexual do have an interest in sex - but only with people they feel connected to.
"It’s important to note that each person will have their own unique relationship to these terms and that there isn’t one set definition that will capture everyone’s experience."
Tulisa also revealed in the jungle that she has been celibate for the past three years. In her latest interview, she said she still believes she will find love someday.
"I feel like the universe is good. I don’t think it’s going to leave me an isolated and alone individual for the rest of my life. What’s meant for me won’t pass me by."
Read more about sex and relationships:
What it means to be demisexual, according to an expert (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)
Sexual identity is more fluid than previously thought, says twelve-year study (The Conversation, 4-min read)
Snowmanning Is The New Dating Trend That Reminds Us To Value Our Sexual Health (HuffPost, 2-min read)
