A TikTok doctor just clarified what 'losing your virginity' actually means

Jennifer Savin
·2-min read
Photo credit: Carol Yepes - Getty Images
Photo credit: Carol Yepes - Getty Images

From Cosmopolitan

Losing your virginity: sounds straightforward enough, I guess? But actually it can be a pretty nuanced topic, as prove by a recent viral TikTok video created by Dr Jennifer Lincoln (an Obstetrician-Gynecologist).

Often taking to social media to ask her followers some pretty important questions and to clear up sexual health-related myths, Dr Lincoln certainly started an important conversation when she asked 'Losing your virginity: what does that mean?'. She then encouraged her followers to share their answers in the comments below, and the responses were eye-opening.

Dr Lincoln, after taking a brief pause to mock-read a book, then returns to face the camera and says, "Well, there is no one answer for what losing your virginity is!" She then goes on to list different examples, such as "maybe it's having vaginal sex" and "[or] maybe to you it's anal sex".

She then makes the excellent point that if those are the criteria upon which losing your virginity is based (e.g. a penis has to be inserted somewhere in order for it to 'count'), then, err, that'd mean women who sleep with other women would be considered virgins their entire life. Which as I'm sure we can all agree, is very much not the case.

"But what about women who have sex with women?" says Dr Lincoln. "Do we just consider them virgins forever? I mean, I don't think they would agree."

She then continues on to adds, "There's no one scientific definition of 'losing your virginity' and there is no such thing as a 'virginity test', your hymen doesn't matter. Virginity is a social construct... and not a really useful term, is it?"

Over in the comments, almost 2000 people aired their thoughts on the subject, with one person saying "[losing your virginity] is the first time you consent 100%", another said "lmaooo there is no definition because it cannot be defined". One other view shared was "when your genitals touch other genitals".

The bottom line? Consensual sexual and intimate acts can all be classed as losing your virginity, if that's what feels right for you – and if anybody is pressuring you into having sex or partaking in any acts that you aren't comfortable with, you have every right to walk away from the situation (guilt-free).

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