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This Is How Long You Should Wait Before Dating After A Break-Up

How long should it take to get over a break-up? [Photo: Giphy]

Sobbing into the salted caramel ice cream after a break-up? You’ll likely be offered two different pieces of advice when it comes to moving on. Some will say tapping up Tinder too soon is totally a rebound thing and that’s not good, while others believe that the best way to get over someone is to jump right back on the dating bike (sorry poor choice of metaphor there!). It’s like a game of romance roulette. So how long should you wait to date after a break-up?

One psychologist thinks she has the answer. Paulette Kouffman Sherman, PSY.D, author of Dating from the Inside Out believes that though there isn’t a definitive period, you should wait at least a month before dipping your toe back in the dating waters.

Speaking to Glamour, she explained that “most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship.”

But the longer you dated the longer you may need to get over it. With Kouffman Sherman suggesting you may need three or four months if you dated for someone for a year or more, less if you only dated for a short time.

Breaking up is hard to do! [Photo: freestocks.org via Pexels]

And it’s not simply a case of waiting out the specified time before you hit up that dating app, because it should be more about your state of mind. If you’re still sobbing into that salted caramel ice cream and watching The Notebook on a loop, you might want to give it a little longer. Kouffman Sherman suggests trying to get your life back to some sort of normality first, going out with your friends, venturing back to the gym etc.. “This way, you will feel whole and in high self-esteem before you go back into the next relationship and won’t just be trying to fill that hole,” she says.

Taking the time to figure out what you’ve learnt from your last relationship can also help you understand what you want from your next one too.

“The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously,” explains psychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D..

Because getting into a new relationship just to distract you from your old one, would be a totally bad idea.

How long is too long to wait before getting into a new relationship? [Photo: kaboompics.com via Pexels]

Moral of the story? A bit of ‘fun’ post-breakup may give you a short-term emotional boost, but if you’re looking for something serious, you might be better to wait until you’re actually over your ex first.

And remember, while psychologists can give an estimate on when you should feel ready to get back in the dating saddle, every relationship is different and it’s down to you to judge when you feel ready to move on. In the mean time there’s plenty of salted caramel to help keep you company. And Ryan Gosling in The Notebook is everything!

How long do you think you should wait before dating again after a break-up? Let us know @YahooStyleUK

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