Remember those dark and murky days before WhatsApp was invented?
It was a world of painstakingly pounding out text messages to all your pals separately if you wanted to tell people some news. It took hours. And your thumbs would end up numb.
OK, we exaggerate, but it is really great being able to send a message to all your squad at once in a group chat.
You can plan a night out with a few taps, quickly update your mates on your latest happenings, plus share those photos that are just a little bit too embarrassing for Facebook. And how did we ever convey what we were thinking without emojis?
But all that convenience can come with a price. Namely 1,874 notifications and a conversation you can barely keep up with.
Let’s just admit it, some of the posts that pop up in a multiperson convo can be downright annoying.
These are some of the types of message you’ve absolutely received…
Most of us are lovely and reasonable people who want our friends to succeed in every way possible. On the other hand, no one likes a show off.
‘Ugh, guys, I’m literally so exhausted now that I’ve been promoted and my new bajillionaire boyfriend keeps taking me out for lavish dinners every night. Anyone got any tips for staying awake??’
Sure, you’re happy for your buddies when good stuff happens to them, but when they have a little boast about it while totally pretending not to, your chuffed grin can all too easily turn into gritted teeth.
The Passive Aggressive
Group chats can all too often descend into hotbeds of pass-ag. Especially when they involve people who live together and may not or may not have borrowed someone’s brand new and expensive dress and left a manky pile of washing up in the sink.
These texts are very easy to recognise, as they generally begin with something along the lines of: “Hey guys, NBD, but just wondering if anyone took my / used my / borrowed my…”
You can also spot this sort from their excessive full stops, lary exclamation marks and repeated use of the phrase ‘it’s totally fine, but…’.
Probably the best thing about instant messaging is that it’s, well, instant.
It’s quick, it’s easy, and you can scroll through a feed digesting info and goss at lightning speed.
Except when you can’t.
We’ve all experienced that sinking heart feeling when a message is more than three lines long.
It’s not that we don’t care deeply about exactly what our mates have been up to, but every minute detail about exactly how annoying that man who works in accounts at your office was yesterday can be a real mood kill. We have our limits, people.
The ‘Running Late’
How many of us can honestly say we’re not guilty of pressing send on a slightly dishonest running late apology?
“Guys soooo sorry I’m nearly there my train was delayed and my bus broke down and a pigeon stole my oyster card…” and so on.
Just admit that you’ve got a rotten hangover and you switched your alarm off, we’ve all been there.
The Boozy Ramble
The very best kind of message in your Whatsapp group will probably flick up around 9pm on a Friday, in that golden hour when everyone’s been out drinking after work but no one’s had any dinner.
These booze-soaked missives are normally slightly bonkers and totally full of love, and that’s why they’re so great.
‘GUYS I jsut really really LVOE you all. And the eyebrows are onn the cat. Jus sayin.’
Unfortunately due to wine amnesia the sender will probably have no idea what they were on about, and these inner monologues will remain a mystery.