Suzi Quatro: ‘Gardening helped me to process the loss of my baby’

Our regular gardening column, Personal Growth, is not about plant names and weeding tips (although a few might come up). It is about reflections, memories and feelings.

Many people who love their garden don't consider themselves gardeners – so what draws them so strongly to that green patch outside the back door? This week we talk to Suzi Quatro in her manor house in Essex.

When did you first see the garden?

I saw the house on the cover of Country Life magazine in 1980 and just fell in love with it. My first husband, Len, and I were looking for a home in Essex because he’s from Romford, so we went to see it and I knew straightaway that it was going to be our home. And when I saw the garden, I wanted it even more. It was like it was preordained.

How old is the house?

Our house is a 15th-century Grade II-listed Elizabethan manor and it sits on three and a half acres. Poplar trees line the avenue and three sides of the land is moated. When I step out of my kitchen back door, I see an old cherry blossom in front of me. To my right, a willow and magnolia tree hang over a large pond. I’ve been living here for just over 40 years now and the view of the magnolia in full flower still takes my breath away.

Do you have a favourite place to sit?

We have a patio just outside the back door where I have a table and chairs, two loungers and my wonderful rattan day bed. When I’m in it, I write lyrics, play my bass, read and have the odd nap. In the summer I’m pretty much in the garden all day. The scent of lavender fills the air and in the distance you can see the orchard where we grow apples, pears and plums.

When did you get interested in gardening?

Gardening was never my thing, but that changed when we moved here. By then, Len and I had been married for four years and I’d just turned 30. We’d been trying for a baby for some time and I was having trouble. It turned out I had low fertility, so I started fertility treatment and, luckily, I got pregnant. But at two months, I lost the baby and it hit me really hard. I felt responsible. I felt I’d let everyone down… I felt I’d let my baby down. There was so much guilt. Then one day, I was out shopping and I saw these marigolds. They were so cheerful, I ended up buying loads of them. When I got home, I dug holes all along the side of the house and carefully planted each one. I remember thinking: “If I can’t help my own baby grow, I’ll watch these little flowers grow instead.”

Did gardening continue to play an important part in your life?

I eventually got pregnant again and knew I had to take time out. I’d been gigging, touring and recording albums since I was 14.But by the fourth month of my pregnancy, I was so bored I decided to buy two greenhouses and create a large veg patch. I threw myself into growing everything – tomatoes, courgettes, spinach, cauliflower, aubergines and broccoli. I loved it. It was so therapeutic. My daughter, Laura, eventually arrived in 1982.

Did children change the garden?

Richard came along two years after Laura. I went back on the road, and both kids came with me until they started school. The garden took on a new role. The veg patch went and the sand pit, trampoline, swings and half a dozen other things took over. It was also around this time I found out from an old newspaper cutting that a child living here in the late 1800s had drowned in the pond. It was a real shock. I took it as a warning and we fenced it in.

Have you ever thought of moving?

After 20 years together, Len and I divorced, but I stayed here because I didn’t want to uproot our kids. I then married Rainer Haas in 1993. He’s from Hamburg and had to stay there to take care of his mother. So, we ran two homes and it just stayed that way. I live here on my own and I travel back and forth.

Do you have a favourite flower or plant?

The rose is probably my favourite. We used to have this long row of rose bushes against the walled part of the garden and when my mom, Helen, came to stay with us, she’d spend the day cutting roses for the whole house.

Sadly, she’s no longer with us, and neither are the rose bushes. Except for one. And every year, when it comes into flower, I think of her.

Did you have a garden growing up?

I was born and brought up in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. I was one of five children and my dad, Arthur, was an engineer at General Motors. He was also a musician and played at night. We had a lawn at the front and a garden at the back where Mom grew spectacular rhododendrons.

Do you have a gardener?

Our gardener, Austen Burrows, has been with us for years, so he’s like one of the family. There are always things that need doing – the grass, the weeds, the hedges, the pond, the orchard. We’re also going to plant new roses.

As all gardeners know, it’s never ending. In fact, he does a lot more than the garden. A couple of years ago he came up with the idea of turning a little brick outhouse beside the pond into a bar. We call it Suzi Q’s Bar and I’ve even got a bell for last orders. I’ve also put a bistro table and chairs behind it which feels like you’re on the water, surrounded by pond reeds and dragonflies. I love watching the ripples and listening to the birds. It brings me a huge sense of calm.

What are your favourite things about being outside?

Seeing wildlife has got to be one of the best reasons for having a garden. Each year, we have a family of ducks in the pond. They’ll stay around all morning, then at lunchtime, fly over to a neighbour’s pond, before returning in the evening. I could set my watch by them. We have CCTV all around the house and late at night I’ll often see deer sneaking in.

Does the garden inspire your work?

Just before lockdown, I decided to build a proper studio in the garden. It has everything I need to make a demo. Best money I ever spent. It’s called Studio 84 – the year Richard was born. He’s also a musician now and we spent lockdown putting our second album together, The Devil in Me. Luckily, he lives nearby with his girlfriend and they’re getting married this month. Right now, I’ve got so much going on… tours, an album with KT Tunstall, a new book and a film about my life. Things are brilliant.

What does the garden mean to you?

A few years ago, we lost two of our beautiful old trees, but it inspired me to do something with the stumps. I asked a local tree sculptor, David Beanland, to carve one of them into the shape of four bass guitars, and the other into a musical note.

When I saw the sculpture, I knew this was where I wanted my ashes to be scattered. I’ve even put it in my will. There’s also going to be a plaque. On the front, it will read: “Now I get it.” And on the back: “Too many dreams, too little time.”