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Summer heatwave survival guide to see you through the 'Mediterranean melt'

The heatwave is set to continue this week, so how do we cope? - REUTERS
The heatwave is set to continue this week, so how do we cope? - REUTERS

We thought it would all be over by now; that Britain would have reprised its traditional summer pattern of roughly two days’ sunshine (to get everyone’s hopes up and shirts off), followed by a long stretch of unpredictable, patchy, always-pack-a-cardigan-just- in-case weather. We have, as a nation, spent many years familiarising ourselves with this outcome, greeting it with a resigned shrug when another summer rolls around. 

This year, however, has been different. We have been ambushed, yes, ambushed, by a heatwave of proportions we were ill-prepared for, and to which we are struggling to adapt. Should we be taking siestas like the Spanish? (Clearly not - sleeping al-desko rarely plays well with the boss.) Should we start stockpiling water in readiness for some kind of apocalyptic drought situation? (Debatable.) And how, generally, do we cope with the “Mediterranean melt” in a country historically set up for watching Only Fools and Horses re-runs with the living room fire on full blast?

As the UK faces its hottest day of the year this week and the Met Office issues an amber heatwave alert, urging us to stay indoors, we bring you this survival guide to see you through to Halloween.

It's been labelled the Mediterranean melt: Britain is expecting its hottest day of the year this week - Credit: Matt Cardy/ Getty Images Europe
It's been labelled the Mediterranean melt: Britain is expecting its hottest day of the year this week Credit: Matt Cardy/ Getty Images Europe

DO 

Heed the Met Office warnings, even - nay, especially - when they sound like end of days forebodings. But staying indoors needn’t mean staying at home. That trick you pull on hot foreign holidays where you walk into shops selling nothing of interest, purely to enjoy some brief respite in their aircon? You can do it here too, but on a grander, smarter scale. It may seem counterintuitive to sit in a dark cinema, for instance, but if it’s one with good cooling, then now’s the time to watch all those flimsy summer releases you’d habitually ignore. If your office is blessed with aircon, then forget about working from home. Make presenteeism work for you. 

Parched grass in Hyde Park, London. Grass in many gardens has turned much the same colour - Credit:  TOBY MELVILLE/REUTERS 
Parched grass in Hyde Park, London. Grass in many gardens has turned much the same colour Credit: TOBY MELVILLE/REUTERS

DON’T 

Worry about your lawn. Yes, by this point it most likely resembles an expanse of cut wheat, but no, all is not lost. According to scientists, your grass is probably not dead but rather in a long slumber from which it will apparently rise again once the rains come. If the rains come. Going brown is, they say, a survival mechanism for grass. 

Please note the same does not apply to humans: turning brown (or red) if you are normally fairly white is not wholly encouraged. Public Health England is urging people to wear suncream and protective clothing amid a spike in hospitalisations for sunburn. Don’t become a statistic, as they say. 

People enjoy the sun on Silver Sands beach at the start of the Scottish school holiday - Credit: Ken Jack - Corbis
People enjoy the sun on Silver Sands beach at the start of the Scottish school holiday Credit: Ken Jack - Corbis

DO

Keep your pets cool. In case you missed the memo, dogs die in hot cars. The RSPCA also advises pet owners to apply a pet safe lotion to exposed parts of the animal’s skin; ensure pets have access to shade and fresh drinking water; watch out for how warm the pavements are when walking a dog lest they burn their paws; and keep tanks and cages away from direct sunlight. 

DON’T

Water your plants and grass in the middle of the day. It’s best to do it either early in the morning or during the evening or night to limit the amount of water wasted through evaporation.

Watering plants should be done early in the morning, or in the evening or night - Credit: Matt Cardy/Getty Images Europe
Watering plants should be done early in the morning, or in the evening or night Credit: Matt Cardy/Getty Images Europe

DO

Take simple steps to cool your house down. Keep blinds and curtains closed during the day. Electrical appliances and lights emit heat, so switch off any you’re not using and unplug them at the wall, too. You are not living in a Los Angeles condo so probably don’t have home aircon. No worries, just take your desktop fan (these can be purchased for under £20 if you haven’t yet invested) and place a bowl of iced water before it. This will cool down the air being blown around the room and provide a neat heatwave solution, up until the point the iced water warms up. 

DON’T 

Toss and turn in a hot bed all night. If you’re struggling to sleep, you probably haven’t tried freezing your pillowcase and sheets yet. I know, I know, it sounds mad and probably is if, like me, you keep things like fish and exploding packets of peas in your freezer, but it could also help you nod off. Wrapping bed linen in cling film before freezing is recommended. Then, hey presto, come bedtime you have a place to rest your head that will also chill you to the very core of your being within seconds. Bliss.

Wear sun cream or cover up to avoid sunburn, health bodies have warned - Credit:  Anthony Devlin/PA
Wear sun cream or cover up to avoid sunburn, health bodies have warned Credit: Anthony Devlin/PA

DON’T

Overuse antiperspirant. You may be enduring a summer of perpetual panic about potential sweat patches, but clogging up your sweat pores with antiperspirant is not recommended – these help you cool down, after all. 

DO 

Dress appropriately. This doesn’t just mean keeping your massive Celine Dion tattoo covered at work; it means ditching synthetic materials and sticking to breathable fabrics like cotton and linen. Black may be your signature look, but light colours are cooler, so branch out. Shoes should also be breathable. Pick a smart pair of sandals for the office: stuffing your feet into anything enclosed, too pointy or too high will inevitably add to your heatwave woes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.