Stroke, lick and splay: The Anthony Scaramucci guide to wooing your interviewer
If there was a shred of doubt in anyone's mind that Newsnight presenter Emily Maitlis wasn't worthy of the same money as her male colleagues, last night's programme should have shut it down.
Maitlis got the first UK interview with Anthony Scaramucci, Donald Trump's new Communications Director. You might have expected such a heavyweight head-to-head to cause controversy for any number of reasons. But the one that outraged viewers and social media users was the fact that Scaramucci didn't seem to grasp the concept of personal space.
The new White House employee, who has been in his new job for less than a week, spent the 11 minute interview repeatedly touching Maitlis's hand, gesticulating close to her face and apparently glancing at her chest.
He couldn't keep his hands off her. What a creep.
— (((Tea Junkie))) (@TeaJunkie1) July 27, 2017
You could see he was edging toward the grope all the way through. Nauseating.
— Ming Ho (@Minghowriter) July 26, 2017
Well, we applaud Maitlis for her utter professionalism and composure. Her characteristic tough line of questioning never wavered - not that we expected it would - but she'd have been forgiven for flinching.
Here are some of Scaramucci's top moves to woo your interviewer...
1. The finger thing
Make sure to create a feeling of camaraderie by placing a finger, or two, on their arm during particularly tricky questions.
Don't be deterred if they seem unimpressed. Stroke again. Persistence pays off.
2. The fore splay
Soft Brexit or hard Brexit? There's only one way to get your hands on this issue.
3. The pat me down
How to respond when asked about the chlorine-rinsed chicken furore sweeping the UK? Reply that you have "no idea about chlorine-rinsed chicken" and chuckle. Then do this.
4. The lip lick
Questions about a potential 'big trade deal between the US and the UK... tasty.
5. Shake it off
Ensure you book-end the interview with handshakes that last a millisecond too long, in the grand tradition of your boss President Trump.
If you really want to make a good impression, pull your interviewer in for a semi-hug. It's important to stay professional at all times.
6. The goodbye gaze
Don't let it end without conveying your deep appreciation of your interviewer via the medium of your eyes. Up and down.
