Signs you might benefit from seeing a therapist
We all have our ups and downs, which can make knowing when to seek professional help for our mental health tricky. So if you're wondering 'Do I need therapy?', then know that you're not alone.
Donna Maria Bottomley, a psychotherapist at DMB Therapy, says 'questioning whether you are feeling upset enough to be seeking therapy' is very common. So much so, in fact, that she has written a new guide to help people normalise, and understand, therapy.
Her book Do I Need To See A Therapist? How To Understand Your Emotions And Make Therapy Work For You (Hero) aims to tackle the taboo of seeing a therapist by encouraging people to think of seeking professional mental health support as just like going to the GP – or booking their car into the garage – rather than waiting until they are in crisis.
And the book is clearly needed because Donna says comments like '"I feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing and wasting your time" and "You must have others to see who are much worse than me" are typical of the things I hear. But usually these words are spoken by a person who is clearly upset and has every reason to be.'
DO I NEED THERAPY? IS IT NORMAL TO GO TO THERAPY?
One of the biggest things that stops people seeking therapy or counselling for their mental health is shame. Donna says that has to change: 'There should be no shame in not knowing what is wrong and seeking help to unpack it. But speaking to a therapist isn’t as easy as consulting the relevant expert, such as a plumber or a surveyor, in order to fix a problem in our home.
'We have been taught to fear expressing upset, and this gets in the way of us being able to seek help. There is this pervasive idea that we should somehow know everything about how our brains and bodies work, even though we’re not supposed to pay attention mindfully to what is going on when we are upset – we are taught to avoid it, and if we get stuck, we can’t show that we are struggling. Imagine calling out a plumber, and when they get there you hide the water leak and tell them there’s nothing wrong and that they should go and find a bigger emergency somewhere else!'
DO I NEED THERAPY? SIGNS YOU'D BENEFIT FROM SEEING A THERAPIST
Here, Donna outlines some of the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that therapy can help with. But, she says, 'my message is not to feel like you have to wait until things become a problem before seeing a therapist. I believe that regular offloading and processing can prevent things from becoming a problem further down the line.' So, she has also shared some other signs that seeing a therapist would be beneficial at the end of this article.
DO I NEED THERAPY? HOW TO FIND A THERAPIST
If any of these statements resonate, then you will benefit from talking to a professional. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) has an online directory to help you find a qualified local therapist here.
DO I NEED THERAPY? THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THERAPY CAN HELP WITH
Anger/Irritation/Stress
‘I feel so irritable all the time’
‘I get angry for no reason’
‘I’m so annoyed at myself’
‘I’m feeling upset for no reason’
Anxiety, Panic, Trauma
‘Why can’t I stop these images and thoughts?’
‘I feel vulnerable’
‘I feel like I might go crazy’
‘I’m feeling anxious about dying’
‘I can't cope’
Guilt
‘I don’t deserve to feel better’
Hopelessness
‘There’s no point in going on anymore’, or words to this effect that show you that you have a strong feeling of hopelessness. Hopelessness has been shown to be highly linked to feelings of wanting to take your own life and it is easy to see why.
If you are feeling that there is no hope, please call The Samaritans on 116 123 (visit their website here) or speak to a trusted person whom you feel safe with and who does not make you feel more hopeless.
DO I NEED THERAPY? BEHAVIOURS THERAPY CAN HELP WITH
Ruminating: Looking for answers but finding it hard to stop thinking about it
Worrying: Feeling apprehensive about what might happen
Rituals: Feeling like you have to carry out a particular behaviour to stop something bad from happening or to stop anxiety
Being unable to stop certain habits or behaviours
Feeling like avoidance has become a problem
Excessive checking or scanning behaviour
Having no motivation to do anything
DO I NEED THERAPY? OTHER SIGNS YOU SHOULD SEE A THERAPIST
Feeling like you have things you are unsure of and want to process
Wanting to understand yourself better
To offload
When training to be a therapist
When you have lost someone close
To help come to terms with a change
To improve relationships with those around you
To know yourself and your emotions
To ‘feel’ better
You can find a qualified therapist in your local area via the BACP website. If you need support in a mental health crisis, call 999.
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