Shailene Woodley speaks candidly about dealing with bad sex

Alice Howarth
·2-min read
Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

From Harper's BAZAAR

Shailene Woodley has spoken candidly about intimacy in a new advice column for men’s site, Leo. The 29-year-old spoke frankly about her experience with bad sex and offered readers her advice on how to remedy the experience within a relationship.

Responding to a reader’s question, “If the sex is not great but the relationship is thriving, do you call it quits or work on it?”, the Big Little Lies actress wrote: “Oh … I have been here. And to be quite honest, it has happened more than once in my life.”

"All I can say is, from my perspective as a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to say it, honesty and transparency are everything.”

"If you don't feel safe in communication with your partner, then chances are, you may never be able to cultivate a truly connective sex life."

"And, if you do feel safe, then talk about your needs," she urged. "Whether they are being met or not. Ask your partner about theirs."

Woodley expanded, ""Bad sex", in my opinion, is simply two people who haven't quite found the language that speaks to their unique lives together yet. Or, two people who don't know how to be deeply vulnerable with one another."

"That s— can take time," she advised. "And although you occasionally and very rarely do meet someone whom you spontaneously sexually combust with—most of the time, sex is a lesson in true intimacy."

"Don't be afraid to say what you really want. The most turned on I have ever been has been when lovers told me exactly what they wanted me to do, or what their needs were. So don't be shy."

The actress, who is set to star in upcoming legal thriller The Mauritanian and Netflix’s The Last Letter from Your Lover later this year, has previously spoken openly about her experience with relationships, love and sex.

In May 2019, the actress revealed to InStyle that she doesn't "trust anyone" when it comes to dating.

"Dating's hard," she said. "I mean, I love sex. I love the power of emotional connection via physicality. Who doesn't? But now I'm only interested in those unexpected impactful connections."

She continued, "It's easy to talk about the positive things about love, but love is scary."

"Recently I was speaking with a friend, and we were like, 'When was the last time you met someone and had the ability to say, 'I'm so attracted to you. I think your mind stimulates my mind in ways I can't explain. Creatively, I'm feeling a 10. Physically, I can't wait to know what you feel like. And you scare the s— out of me'?'"

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