New trailer for Shadowlands: Chains of Domination.
A modern-day witch-hunt is a deliriously loaded proposition, at once apocalyptic and archaic. But when 22-year-old Jess, a mental health and body positivity advocate from London, posted on Instagram after receiving her coronavirus vaccine to reassure her 14k young followers that she was doing fine, for all the microchip conspiracy theories and vilifying of Bill Gates that the zeitgeist could have vomited into her DMs, she didn’t expect what happened next. Unfortunately, Jess is one of a number of young women being harassed online into justifying their COVID jabs. “I suddenly had users questioning my eligibility and demanding answers,” says Jess. “This made me angry. Being young doesn’t guarantee perfect health and while I’m happy to share my experience, I know others might not be.” Jess cares for a family member over 80. The pandemic has brought enough stress already – the last thing she needs is the Instagram equivalent of the FBI questioning her experience. Watching this trial unfold on my Instagram feed, I was appalled. There is a long-held assumption (thanks, influencer culture) that because someone presents one aspect of their life online, their followers are at liberty to know everything about them. As much as I hoped what happened to Jess was an isolated incident, I had a feeling that other young women were facing similar backlash. Twenty-two-year-old Estelle* has also been subjected to the vaccine witch-hunt: a follower popped up, intrusively probing her eligibility, after she shared a post-vaccine Instagram Story. “I didn’t realise people would respond in this way – maybe I was being naive,” she tells me. “It took me a while to respond because I was taken aback. I explained I have asthma but, really, I wanted to make it clear the question made me uncomfortable. If you’ve been vaccinated, you’ve clearly been offered it for a reason.” Despite simply following the directions of the NHS, Jess and Estelle’s statements show that they were made to feel they had done something wrong. Just as Estelle uses language which shifts accountability to herself – her suggestion that she was “naive” and felt she couldn’t speak up – these women’s personal milestones are obscured when they have to justify their jabs. The opportunity to start waving goodbye to COVID has turned instead into something painful. Thirty-three-year-old Nay runs an Instagram account to raise awareness of her type 1 diabetes. “For me, it was a celebration,” she says when I ask why she chose to post online after her vaccine. “I take thousands of injections every year and this is the first I’ve actually looked forward to.” Nay says that before questioning another’s experience you should “honour them” because to make these women relive their trauma simply to justify themselves to you is to invalidate their lived experience. We’re all living through this pandemic but everyone’s experience is idiosyncratic and distinct. The problem with social media is that it packages us up into tidy Instagrammable stereotypes. While getting jabbed might seem trivial if you’re young and fortunately healthy, to others dealing with any number of issues, the vaccine is a life-saving light at the end of a pretty bleak year of shielding, misinformation and worry. Being forced to justify your health problems to others is sadly all too familiar to me. My dear dad passed away in 2016 when I was 18, after a long battle with kidney disease. Growing up, disability permeated family life. I experienced intrusive comments and unwarranted stares whenever I was with my brave dad, who struggled to walk and was visibly disabled even to the most ignorant eye. I always think back to the first time I witnessed ableism in play, at a family day out to a theme park. It was a far from carefree experience. Would the rides have accessible seating? If there are steps, are there ramps? How much walking is involved and where are the nearest benches for pit-stops? Nevertheless, Dad was determined that our special day was happening and joined me on a rollercoaster. With difficulty, he managed to lower himself onto the seat next to me. I was glowing with pride. The world is full-colour in this memory as we whizzed along the track. That was until he struggled to find strength to hoist himself out at the end, and I caught the eye of a pre-teen sniggering maliciously in the queue. Just like that, Dad’s personal breakthrough, and my deep-seated pride, felt stolen. This moment is one of many which have stained my outlook on society with distrust. It demonstrates why questioning someone’s lived experience is never okay. Indeed, for the women I’ve spoken to, an internalised guilt at getting vaccinated before their peers existed long before anyone fired a loaded question their way. Twenty-two-year-old Kate works in healthcare for Infection Prevention & Control. She also has inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) so is vulnerable. Doubly ‘justified’ to have been jabbed, you might think, but when I speak to Kate, guilt shadows her words. She’s held back from telling certain people her news because she’s concerned about their reactions. “I think some of my guilt comes from how COVID has been marketed,” Kate tells me. “When we say ‘vulnerable’, it draws up a very specific stereotype that excludes many of us.” Jess, Estelle and Nay all harbour similar guilt. The loaded questions Jess received made her feel that she had “stolen” something. Estelle was vaccinated before her parents and subsequent demands to explain herself led her to question her validity: “It almost didn’t seem right.” Nay felt she had to go beyond the words “I am a diabetic” and explain that if she were to catch COVID, it could “cause diabetic ketoacidosis – a medical emergency – and I could die”. With 80% of disabled people living with hidden impairments, and still not enough public understanding, this witch-hunt makes those with so-called invisible illnesses feel that their experiences aren’t justifiable. Rebecca, an NHS practice manager in a primary care network in the Midlands, clarifies what might seem obvious but is clearly cast aside when curiosity overcomes us: “Being young doesn’t mean risk is lower.” “The Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation (JCVI) has identified those in first need of the vaccine based on medical conditions, treatments, age and healthcare professions.” This should be all the justification anyone needs. Yet even this week the witch-hunt has taken another ugly turn as plus-size women speak about the trolling they’ve experienced for getting their vaccines, all completely in line with the government’s pre-determined vaccine schedule. “This is the reason I’ve only told a handful of people in my life that I’m getting it,” tweeted one plus-size woman in response to some of the ugly experiences being shared. Kate struggles to see why others would need to know why she has received the vaccine. “My reaction is that people shouldn’t ask, unless someone has the same illness as you and they’re asking for advice on a shared experience.” Estelle adds: “In an ideal situation, everyone would keep to themselves and not ask but I think if you really want to, the right etiquette would be to frame your question indirectly. By leading with an open statement like ‘Only if you feel comfortable telling me…’ it gives the person you’re asking the right to choose whether to respond.” Weeks have passed since Jess received the intrusive DMs. In light of the backlash, does she regret posting online? Not at all, she says generously. “I’m always open to talking about anything if it means helping someone.” The pandemic is a history-making event and not one life has been left untouched by its devastation. But I have to believe that for all it has shattered in the human psyche, we have a unique opportunity to learn important lessons about what it means to be a little more human. Respecting people’s different, nuanced and diverse lived experiences is one of them. Take one look at Jess’ Instagram feed and it’s clear to see: empathy and kindness always prevail. *Name has been changed to protect identity Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?COVID Ruined Afro Hair Salons But Women AdaptedWhat You Should Know About The COVID VaccineYour COVID-19 Vaccine Questions, Answered
I’ve been on a first date with a woman I met on a dating app and I’m feeling pretty good about it. There’s a definite spark and sexual energy, and the prospect of getting to know her better is filling me with excitement. So far, so good. Then I get home to a message which pours a big bucket of cold water all over my elation: “I’d love to see you again…but just as friends.” This is how the story of my dating life has played out for the last four years. It’s not the message itself that’s alarming – I don’t think everyone should fall in love with me instantly. The alarming part is the sheer number of women I’ve dated with whom I’ve gone on to have meaningful friendships. I thought the old ‘let’s just be friends’ letdown was code for ‘I’m just not that into you and I’m going to disappear now’ but in most cases, my dates then go on to pursue actual friendships with me. This might sound like the ultimate nail in my queer dating coffin but, surprisingly, from numerous cases of rejection, I’ve found support and validation. The ‘friend zone‘ is a term largely tied into heterosexual ideas of dating. At its best, it’s a bit of a joke about a relationship not working out. At its worst, it’s men feeling entitled to sexual or romantic relationships because that’s what society has taught them they are owed. At the heart of this perception of the friend zone is the notion that friendship is inferior. Thankfully, my experiences as a queer woman are different. I moved to London in 2019 for a job, with the ulterior motive of dating ’til I dropped. My small university city had no queer scene to speak of and an even smaller dating pool so my move to the big city was my time to (finally!) shine. I was hoping to find a place for myself in London’s queer community, I just didn’t realise dating would lead me to my people. Before we go any further, I’m not referring to queer platonic partnerships here and of course I’m not suggesting that queer women and non-binary people can’t ‘just’ be friends. I’m talking about people who are actively seeking dates and show more than a platonic interest in me but after a few dates want to proceed as friends. Every. Damn. Time. Would I rather be ghosted by them entirely? No. Are there some positive elements to it? Yes, definitely. Does this say something about my obsessive need to be friends with everyone, to the detriment of my relationship status? Maybe. I’m also not talking about intimacy-infused friendships like Carol (Cate Blanchett) and Abby’s (Sarah Paulson) in Todd Haynes’ queer cinema masterpiece, Carol. I’m talking beers-in-the-pub, watching-films-two-feet-apart-on-the-sofa kind of friendship. Sexually distanced rather than socially distanced, shall we say? It’s an unrequited feeling which comes out of the blue when I believe things to be progressing romantically. We both love Carly Rae Jepsen! We shared a steamy drunken kiss! Our star signs are compatible! So why would you just want to be friends? A message from my most recent date turned friend read: “I understand we met on Hinge and you probably weren’t on there to find friends.” She hit the nail on the head there and yet here we are – friends. When I approach dating expert and matchmaker Sarah Louise Ryan, she is optimistic about my situation. “I think it’s actually quite refreshing that there’s a real authentic follow-through with maintaining a friendship, it’s not just shared empty words like you might find elsewhere in modern dating.” As much as I would like some romantic relationships, I’m not totally mad about being friend zoned. A good first date doesn’t always equate to someone wanting to be in a relationship with you; we’re only human. I also respect these people being honest and communicating with me, and I’m flattered that they thought I was good enough company to stick around. I’m just mad that it happens with pretty much every person I date, which leaves me questioning my own approach to dating. Is there something about me in particular that’s earning me a fast-track ticket to the friend zone? Relationship expert James Preece tells me that it’s all about setting an intention with someone and aligning with them from the start. “If you don’t show you are interested in that way, they’ll assume you aren’t. Then even if they do like you, they reject you first as a way to protect their own ego. It’s vital that you get them thinking about you in the right way through initial texts, chats and behaviour.” That’s easier said than done, though – it’s uncomfortable bringing a serious energy right off the bat when you don’t know someone yet. So perhaps I’m setting the table for friendship only with my approach to dating. But I’m not sure I want to change my approach entirely. Something Sarah said stuck with me: “If you hold on to relationships and dating scenarios that have passed, you are taking up too much energetic space in order to welcome the right person.” I understand what Sarah means but I’d be lying if I said this has ever held me back. If anything, it’s taught me lessons in boundaries, respect and the importance of authentic connection. It’s given me many wholesome nights at the pub, introduced me to new circles of queer people and reminded me that you can get just as much love from platonic relationships. Through these experiences, I’ve found the community I was searching for and have a stronger support network than ever. Not everyone you meet is going to be right for you and friendship doesn’t have to be seen as a downgrade. I used to deem dates unsuccessful because they didn’t end up blossoming into love or a relationship but it turns out there’s a lot more to it than that. It’s a product of being a queer woman and part of a community where friendships are powerful, even if (like in my case) they’re formed from a place of rejection. Because rejection might hurt you but friendship doesn’t. Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?How I Overcame My Fear Of Losing A Year Of DatingWhy Men Dating Bi Women Need To Be Better AlliesThis Dating App Has Banned All Body-Shaming
Cyprus will allow British tourists who have been fully vaccinated against Covid-19 into the country without restrictions from May 1, its tourism minister said on Thursday. British visitors are the largest market for Cyprus's tourism industry, which has suffered from the coronavirus pandemic. Arrivals and earnings from the sector, which represents about 13 per cent of the Cypriot economy, plunged on average 85 per cent in 2020. "We have informed the British government that from May 1 we will facilitate the arrival of British nationals who have been vaccinated ... so they can visit Cyprus without a negative test or needing to quarantine," Deputy Tourism Minister Savvas Perdios told the Cyprus News Agency. Visitors would need to be inoculated with vaccines approved by the European Medicines Agency, he said.
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Unsurprisingly, many of us are feeling frustrated with our hair right about now. On the rare day it's falling just right, you don't see anyone; when you really need it to look good for a work presentation or a park date, your roots are greasy or your box braids could use a touchup, at which point you're forced to resort to the easiest pulled-back options, like a bun or head wrap. Throw in the fact that you're staring at your Zoom reflection for the umpteenth time, and even your most foolproof go-tos start to seem a little tired.To help solve a universal problem, we scoured Instagram and talked to professional stylists who provided us with some thought starters on fresh approaches to doing our hair for spring 2021. All are pretty easy, no matter if your ends are three months past due for a trim or if you have a short style that just needs a little je ne sais quoi with the help of accessories. Whether for Zoom or FaceTime, find your hair-refresh guide, ahead. Tie-Less BraidsRecently, Mary-Kate Olsen wore double braids sans hair ties. Instagram was quick to pick up on the budding trend, with long-haired models like Sara Sampaio proving that the style is most definitely WFH-friendly.Half-UpCelebrity stylist Justine Marjan makes the argument that a half-up style should be in everyone's repertoire for spring. "Half-up, half-down hairstyles are trending right now because many of us have more length since quarantine, and the style is an easy way to switch it up," she explains. For extra flair, tie yours off with a baby-pink bow like model Raven Lyn.Sleek Shine According to Kim Kardashian's hairstylist Chris Appleton, the trend for spring is more about the finish of the hair than anything else. "The surge is that glossy, healthy hair," Appleton says. Whether it's straight, naturally curly, or silk-pressed like model Aspen Cristi, you want to make sure your hair is super hydrated, be it from a hair oil or moisturising shampoo.Plush HeadbandBlame the Gossip Girl revival, but there's been a new uptick in fashion influencers, like Ellie Delphine, styling a Blair Waldorf headband. Not only is it fitting for spring — whether you're on the streets of Manhattan or not — it's also the chicest, five-second way to change up your look before a virtual meeting.High PonyThere's something about pulling your long hair tight in a high ponytail that makes you want to make like Dutch model Amaka Hamelijnck and wear it with a power blazer. Or you could just throw a good chain necklace over your sweatshirt for a similar, still trendy vibe.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?We Tried The Box Dye Everyone's Talking AboutI Got A Feathered Haircut & It's So Versatile5 Afro Hair Trends To Get Excited About In 2021
We may not have an imminent need for transporting our beauty goodies beyond our bathroom sinks, but that doesn’t mean we can’t give them a cute place to call home. And, this just in: Glossier has done precisely that. World, meet Beauty Bag, the big sis to the startup’s beloved pink bubble pouches. It’s roomy — not too roomy that it’s monopolising precious sink space — but is tall enough to fit full-size bottles of cleanser, moisturiser, sunscreen, and eye cream, with space left over. Oh, and for the accident-prone among us (*raises hand*), the bag itself is crafted from a water-resistant coated cotton so you won’t ruin it when you knock over your bottle of Futuredew. At £28, it’s a must-buy for any Glossier stan; but to further satiate our Glossier appetite, the brand is also offering a bundle featuring the bag along with three makeup essentials: Cloud Paint, Boy Brow, and Lash Slick for £55. Ready to cop? Shop it below. Refinery29’s selection is purely editorial and independently chosen – we only feature items we love! As part of our business model we do work with affiliates; if you directly purchase something from a link on this article, we may earn a small amount of commission. Transparency is important to us at Refinery29, if you have any questions please reach out to us. Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?We Tried Every Product From Glossier7 Signs You Need To Clean Out Your Makeup Bag ASAPYes, Trinny London Really Is Worth The Beauty Hype
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The weather might still be feeling less than spring-like, but with the prospect of (small) alfresco parties on the horizon, now is the time to start thinking about how to prep your garden for the longer, sunnier days. Homeware brands struggled to keep up with the demand for outdoor furniture last year and shipping was complicated by the pandemic. Many are reporting that sales are already far higher than usual for this time of year thanks to the recent warm weather (John Lewis saw a record week for sales of inflatable hot tubs last week since introducing them last summer). So what do you need to think about now to give your outside space wow factor and make sure it’s ready for lockdown liftoff come March 29? One of the key lifestyle trends to emerge from the pandemic is to see the garden as an extension of the home – another room where you can relax, eat, entertain and even work – and not only during the summer months. To make yours fit the brief, you need to make it as comfortable as possible: if all you have is a couple of uncomfortable chairs and a rickety table, the chances are you won’t want to sit there for very long. Several brands have launched new outdoor lines this year that aim to bring a loungey, indoorsy vibe to the garden. The key is to look for soft weatherproof fabrics (which are far easier to come by now due to advances in textile technology) and lightweight rattan that you can accessorise with cushions and throws on chilly evenings. There’s no need to stick to traditional cream or grey – outdoor furnishings now come in all sorts of colours and patterns, and not just the garish tropical prints conventionally associated with outdoor homewares. Domaine & Demeure is a new homeware brand from the luxury French hotel of the same name, offering chic and comfortable furniture that calls to mind a Provençal terrace, and is sturdy enough to leave outside all year round. Another French brand, Ligne Roset, has expanded its garden collection with outdoor iterations that look and feel virtually indistinguishable from its indoor designs, and come in delicious on-trend colours, from burnt orange, teal and mustard to wine red and baby pink. On the high street, Sofa.com has just launched its debut outdoor collection with a range of sofas and lounge chairs, some of which would look just as at home indoors in the sitting room, and come fitted with handy integrated side tables to hold drinks and snacks. Made.com has bamboo, coloured rattan and industrial style dining sets, along with charcoal rattan seating that looks both comfortable and cool, and Cox & Cox has expanded its collection of pale wood dining sets and rattan hanging chairs (another of last summer’s big hits). Here’s how to make the most of the space you have. Get in the zone
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Before March of last year, Izzy Rose rarely spent an evening in. At 21 she was thriving on the first rungs of her career in music and fashion marketing; weeknights usually meant networking events at swish hotels, where she collected all the free drinks she could handle. At weekends, she danced with her friends in underground nightclubs. It “felt like the world was ending” when lockdown was imposed last year, she remembers, confining her to her east London flat, which she shares with her boyfriend. If the Government’s roadmap is to be believed, that adventure-packed life could be back on the cards by summer. But instead of filling her with excitement, Rose feels only dread. “It brings me anxiety to think about going back to how busy I was, meeting new people every day. I was so on the ball before; I could small-talk away. Now, I’ve kind of forgotten how to do all that.” Her words shed light on a peculiar trend some psychologists are calling “re-entry anxiety”. After a year of Zoom and banana bread-baking, psychologists fear we have become a nation of hermits, afraid to leave our front door – even once the threat of Covid has receded. A large study published this week by the Together Coalition, a charity chaired by the Archbishop of Canterbury, found one-third of Britons think the country will not go back to the way it was before Covid, because we have become accustomed to staying apart. “Everyone, to some extent, will have become deskilled at socialising,” says Dr Kamran Ahmed, a clinical psychologist who has written about his own battles with social anxiety. “If we’re not using our social muscles then we get a little bit out of practice – just like with anything else.” Those feeling anxious fall generally into two camps, he says. In the first group are those with a diagnosed condition, like social anxiety disorder. They probably felt relieved when lockdown was imposed, but there is a danger their condition has become “entrenched”. Far less attention has been paid to the second group: those without any diagnosed anxiety disorder, but who are feeling frightened, perhaps unable to sleep, at the thought of getting on a crowded train carriage, or seeing groups of friends. Dr Ahmed, who is from the UK but now lives in Sydney, remembers how bizarre he felt attending a party after the Australian city emerged from its first lockdown last year. “I think I’d almost forgotten how to dance.” In a 2010 study, neuroscientists looked inside the brains of socialites with large circles of friends, and found their amygdala regions (responsible for emotional processing) tended to be larger than average. Some think this region can grow and shrink depending on the rhythm of a person’s life; research published in 2012 found that veterans tend to have smaller than average amygdala regions after experiencing a traumatic battlefield event. A long time in solitude can also affect the balance of hormones in your blood associated with stress and bonding.
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