What to Read Next

'I find sexual intercourse very painful. How do I talk to my husband about this?'

30 June 2011

I had a hysterectomy at a very young age and now (in my late 40s) have very thin vaginal walls, which makes sexual intercourse very painful. I find it hard to talk to my husband about this.

Fortunately, sexual pleasure is not all about intercourse. Improving vaginal tone is something you should discuss with your doctor, who may have a remedy – possibly a hormonal cream. Don't be shy – you deserve to be helped.

There are many erotic possibilities that do not include intercourse, and will not cause you pain. You could make your sex life more sensual by trying different sounds (murmurs, mood-enhancing music, and even the fine art of erotic conversation), scents (candles, perfume and your own natural scent), tastes (try being creative with food and edible erotic items), as well as experimenting with different non-genital strokes and touches. There are many more erogenous zones in the body than the obvious!

If it appeals, work on improving your oral and manual skills to provide climactic pleasure for your husband (ask for feedback) and, if he doesn't know already, teach him what kind of non-penetrative pleasures bring you to orgasm. Provide details and guidance until he gets it right. At the moment, sex is not something you look forward to. It should not be a chore, so change that. And never put up with painful sex, not even to "please your husband" (he does not want to hurt you). Instead, begin to share your specific erotic desires with him and encourage him to do the same. You can have a fantastic sex life if you stop limiting yourselves by focusing on intercourse.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media 2011

Starwood Credit Card

Earn 25,000 Bonus Starpoints®! Use toward Award Nights or Flights.

VA Mortgage Rates In 2016

VA Rates as Low as 2.75% (3.028% APR) 15 Year Fixed. Exclusive For Veteran & Military Takes 1 Min!

Read This Before You Buy Medigap Plan F

Plan F is the most popular Medicare Supplement plan, but there's another Medigap option you should consider.

Do NOT pay your insurance until you try this.

If you drive less than 55 miles/day OR have no DUI's you can get auto insurance for as low as $29/ Month! See if you qualify.

Toddler tantrum email series for moms

We get it. We’ve been there. Sign up for our email track for advice on how to handle different situations that may arise with your little one.

Switch and save!

Switch to Progressive and you could save an average of $548.

File your taxes for $0

TurboTax announces Absolute Zero is back. $0 Fed. $0 State. $0 to File. Get your maximum refund, guaranteed. Federal Free Edition.

Banks Are Worried Homeowners Will Do This.

Homeowners are surprised and furious. If you owe less than $625,000 on your home, you better read this.

Sign up for the Webcast

Learn how to build your financial team from Top 100 Small Business Influencer, Carol Roth.

Reconnect With Your High School Friends

Classmates® has the largest directory of high school class lists. Remember the good times and reconnect to create new memories.

Compare rates. Save big.

We'll compare rates so you have more time for important things… like cats.

Get your taxes done from your favorite device

Grab your W-2 and your phone or tablet, and file taxes for Absolute Zero : $0 Fed, $0 State, $0 to File. TurboTax Federal Free Edition.

Your second chance to enroll in Medicare & Medigap

Never heard of the Medicre General Enrollment Period? Read this to find out how it could benefit you.

Are You Putting Off Buying New Tires For Your Car?

Goodyear® will help you find the right tires for your vehicle. Browse our tire catalog, view offers, find a store, or use our tire selector.