What will the Sex and the City reboot really be like?

·4-min read
Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

And just like that… I couldn’t help but wonder what Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte have been up to since we saw them last. How have they fared in the Trump years, the global pandemic, the rise of social media and dating apps? Where has Samantha gone and, most importantly… can we all agree to a collective amnesia about that Abu Dhabi trip?

So, I couldn’t help but wonder…

It’s 2021 and Carrie’s $4 a word at Vogue has dried up. Her editor Edith has retired to Wisconsin to make cheese with her short food critic husband. She is replaced by a grown-up Jenny Brier, last seen demanding NSync at her bat mitzvah, who sees Carrie as passé.

Following that disastrous New Yorker review, Carrie’s literary career has also plummeted. She is labelled a Gen Xer throwback, replaced with more tantalising millennial writers. Jia Tolentino snubs her at a ‘literatti’ event, and - in the ultimate Girls crossover - Lena Dunham’s Hannah Horvath offers her a pity invite to her book launch.

Photo credit: Gotham - Getty Images
Photo credit: Gotham - Getty Images

Carrie belatedly embraces twitter only to get herself cancelled. Sean, her bisexual boyfriend from season three, goes on a Twitter rant about her biphobia and Nina Katz responds with an unintelligible ‘face’ emoji that sends Carrie into a tailspin.

Separated from Mr Big, Ms Bradshaw is on dating apps she cannot remember how to use but is trying to mine her experiences to land another book deal. She is also finally wrestling with the knotty fiscal reality of life as a freelancer. She has started shopping at Forever 21 but her op ed pitch: ‘And I couldn’t help but wonder, aren’t we all, deep down, forever 21?’ never lands. She starts a Depop account for her shoes to make rent. This frees up space in her oven, which she now finally needs to use for cooking.

After quitting her job at her stifling and occasionally misogynistic law firm, Miranda Hobbs has pivoted into politics. She is now a strategist for Bernie Sanders, campaigning about abolishing billionaires while neatly swerving any direct questions about her Dries Van Noten dresses. She left Steve for a woman she met on a feminist march after Trump was elected. They now co-parent Brady in adjoining townhouses in Brooklyn. Steve begins dating a cool younger woman who works as his bar manager at Scout. Her nails are acrylic, but only ‘ironically’. Brady is in NYU doing a degree in gender studies, while secretly flirting with WASP princess Lily Goldenblatt on TikTok.

Charlotte York Goldenblatt has gone back to work in the art world, now running large charity fundraisers at the Met and Guggenheim and having Ivanka and Jared, her biggest donors, over for dinner. Her conservative connections get her into hot water with Miranda, who is equally wounded by Charlotte’s reservations about Brady messing up Lily’s Oscar de la Renta. She begins spending time – in secret – with her new best pal, Natasha (yes, that Natasha). They met at an event for beige walls and tiny teapots. She is drawn back to the fold only when Rose Goldenblatt announces she is non-binary, and the girls plan an emergency brunch to discuss.

Stanford Blatch and Anthony Marentino are still happily married and have a grown-up adopted daughter, to whom Carrie is godparent. The couple now produce their own successful LGBTQ+ podcast, Two Scoops of Butter Pecan Ice Cream, which has made them overnight celebrities. Carrie tries not to be jealous. She doesn’t try hard enough.

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

Mr Big spends most of his time eating lonely steak dinners at parties and mooning over Carrie, though does strike up a surprise friendship with Aidan Shaw, with whom he plays basketball and listens to classic jazz.

Meanwhile, Samantha Jones has become the next Whitney Wolfe. She is a self-made billionaire on the cover of Forbes magazine, whose sex-tech brand, My Vagina Waits for No Man, has gone stratospheric. She spends her time jetting between her palatial home in the Hamptons (which she bought from a down-on-his luck Richard Wright for a steal), her penthouse in Manhattan and her home in the Bahamas, where she spent lockdown holed up with champagne and vibrators. She was last heard as a guest on Meghan and Harry's Archewell podcast, talking about sexual self care.

She last made a girls’ brunch date in March 2020.

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