This season’s must-have accessory? A beautiful daughter

There comes a point in the life of every loving, responsible, socially alert celebrity parent when they must decide just how marketable their adolescent daughter is. In 2023, the front row at an A-list designer’s fashion show is an ideal showcase.

Consider it the 21st-century equivalent of the Queen Charlotte Ball for debutantes which, from 1780 to the 1950s, marketed the cream of young female British aristocracy to this nation’s best-connected chinless wonders. Outfits are, of course, of paramount importance and remain so.

Witness 16-year-old Grier Henchy pictured with her mother Brooke Shields at the weekend. At the Song Jung Wan show during New York Fashion Week she, like her mother, wore tweed from the designer. Scarlett White (excellent name), the daughter of Karen Elson and Jack White, also made her debut at Anna Sui’s show (apart from playing the bass on stage alongside her dad) and, like her mother, wore floral Sui.

Being dressed by the designer is a market-value indicator. Seating is even more telling. Marlowe Sturridge, the 10-year-old daughter of Sienna Miller and Tom Sturridge, attended the Proenza Schouler show and was sandwiched between her mother, a Dior Saddle Bag and Anna Wintour. It was a power placement that must have had D-list celebs everywhere gnashing their veneers.

Don’t imagine all of this happens completely by chance. Negotiations and strategy meetings take place months ahead of a “launch”. Take the appearance of Apple Martin last month, at the highest altar of fashion – a Chanel couture show, dressed head-to-toe in Chanel tweed – by way of example.

A contract formalising the romance may follow – the groundwork has been laid. While the Paltrow-Martins were fiercely protective of their children’s images when they were little, Apple has been appearing on her mother’s Instagram account for some time now. Sparingly to begin with – and usually in a passably justified context.

Paltrow is too savvy a merchant to spray images of her children everywhere. Initially, we were just shown half of Apple’s face. Her brother Moses was in there too. National Daughters Day? Paltrow posted a picture of Apple. Visiting her father Bruce Paltrow’s grave? Pic of Apple. Launch of a new product on Goop? Here’s Apple … The pictures, it must be conceded, have become more plentiful. More recent snaps showed them out shopping.

Apple is just so pretty, and like a latter-day Mrs Bennet shuffling her daughters into a ball filled with eligible rich bachelors, Mrs Falchuk (as GP officially is, since her marriage to Brad Falchuk) can’t resist showing her off. In doing so, Paltrow finds herself the subject of savagely contested mother-daughter selfie etiquette, as does Victoria Beckham, who increasingly features 11-year-old daughter Harper on her account, often wearing scaled down designs from her mother’s collections.

How many fashion shows should an M-D duo attend before they become “over-exposed”? How many M-D selfies can one post before it’s unseemly? And, of equal importance, how much make-up and filtering should Mommy use? The last question is a particularly hot button issue, striking terror into all those who emphatically don’t wish to go The Madonna Route.

Madonna now looks – in selfies – a good 10 years younger than her 26-year-old daughter Lourdes. In marked contrast, Paltrow, once one of Madonna’s besties, looks scrupulously real next to the unfurrowed, unpigmented Apple. Wise move. “Natural” has always been part of Paltrow’s schtick, not to mention the defining pillar of Goop, her multi-million dollar wellness brand, so wouldn’t it be counterproductive if she were to start looking pillowy of lip and cheek in order to compete with her daughter?

The conscious – or unconscious – play-off between mother and pulchritudinous daughter can be revealing. Back in the mists of Hollywood time, any actress hoping to extend her career as a leading lady rather than a character actress would not be seen dead with offspring over five.

These days, the rules have shifted slightly. Sienna is happy to be seen with her 10-year-old because the teeny black shorts, platform sandals and skinny cream short-sleeved sweater worn by her (Sienna, that is) make it clear to any casting director that she could still pass for 30.

By the way, when the image in question was taken it was five degrees in Manhattan. Normal people were wearing quilted parkas. Sometimes a mother and daughter do look like sisters (see Reese Witherspoon and daughter Ava Phillippe) because the mum is genetically blessed. Other times Mommie Dearest has aged her daughter up – see Mariah Carey dressing 11-year-old daughter Monroe in mini-me leathers, or any of the Kardashians styling their teeny daughters in leopard print and rhinestones, depending on what Mom’s strapped herself into.

That’s all very Lady Featherington, the ruthless momager in Bridgerton, who has a questionable habit of dressing her four daughters in permutations of her own gaudy outfits, regardless of whether it suits them.

Frequently Mom has done a Benjamin Button. Demi Moore has been known to wear an identical romper suit to her daughter Rumer Willis, in order, perhaps, to emphasise the uncanny lack of VAG (visible age gap). I say perhaps, because no one, not even Mummy probably, fully understands her own motives. All she knows is that such compositions are becoming ubiquitous and she needs to overcome any qualms she may feel about pimping out images of her children.

Even serious actresses like Meryl Streep and Glenn Close have – albeit intermittently – been doing it for years. This is deep, dark soul territory. Of course there is genuine parental pride. But one gets the overwhelming feeling that other impulses are also at work. The impulse to stay relevant and perhaps reach a new demographic via young blood. The impulse to demonstrate to millions of followers how warm and relatable one is. The impulse to add texture to one’s Instagram “grid”. The impulse to use one’s daughter’s utterly reliable gorgeousness as a decoy on days when one doesn’t look so hot.

The impulse to humble brag – look how fearless I am about revealing I have a grown up daughter (but also, check out my amazing abs and thighs, a la 49-year-old Heidi Klum who recently co-starred in a paid- for lingerie shoot with her 18-year-old daughter Leni in a move that was slammed for being “weird” and “disturbing”). Then there is the impulse that dare not speak its name, at least not by the person posting the selfie – the impulse to give one’s darling child a helping shove up the career ladder.

It is truly staggering how impervious the famous can be to charges of nepotism when it comes to scoring a fat wodge of cash for their children. Who cares if the kids are forever lumbered with the sobriquet of nepo-baby? Lily-Rose Depp, daughter of Johnny and Vanessa Paradis, has, like her mother, inked a number of lucrative deals with Chanel.

’Twas ever thus. In medieval times, the future of kingdoms depended on how judiciously the rulers handled their offspring’s unions. A flattering portrait was a major tool in negotiations. In 2023, forget marriage (although not if your child’s intended is of billionaire stock, see the holy alliance between the houses of Beckham and Peltz) and focus instead on the tantalisingly lucrative fashion, fragrance and accessories deals awaiting a skilfully marketed celebrity child of the right fit. Post acne, done with snarling every time you point a phone at them, but pre-running off with a Manson type cult leader is generally the sweet spot.

Apple Martin is all of the above, with the advantage of looking a bit like both her parents (value for money) and appearing to be simultaneously fond of and eye-roll-y about her somewhat Marmite mother. For the moment she’s still at (an undisclosed) college but when she was four, Karl Lagerfeld remarked she was destined to be a Chanel girl. The era of the mother-daughter selfie is far from being finished business.