Rihanna opens up about mom guilt: ‘Everything I love robs me from them’
Rihanna may be a billionaire business mogul, a music icon, and a fashion powerhouse, but at the end of the day, she’s a mom first. And in a rare, vulnerable moment, she’s letting the world in on something every mother knows all too well: The inescapable weight of mom guilt.
In her recent cover story for Harper’s Bazaar, the superstar got candid about the bittersweet balancing act of motherhood—how every career move, every creative endeavor, even every moment of self-care, comes with an undeniable pull in the opposite direction: her two sons, RZA, 2, and Riot, 1.
“Every decision I make revolves around them, but everything that I do that I love robs me of them,” Rihanna said. “So I have a weird resentment with the things that I love. You almost feel like something is always suffering for you to show up somewhere.”
If that doesn’t hit home, I don’t know what does.
The impossible weight of doing it all
Mom guilt is that ever-present shadow, the feeling that no matter where you are, you should be somewhere else. And even Rihanna—who has access to the best resources, support, and childcare imaginable—can’t escape it. “Even when you show up there, it’s not 100 percent because there’s something else on the wheel,” she admitted. “It’s actually given me a lot more self-guilt.”
Rihanna is adding her voice to a growing number of celebrity moms speaking candidly about the struggles of balancing career and motherhood. We see the glamorous red carpet moments, the Vogue covers, and the effortless-seeming “having it all” aesthetic. But Rihanna is pulling back the curtain on a universal truth: having it all often means feeling like you’re never giving enough.
Related: Ms. Rachel breaks character to deliver message about mom guilt in viral TikTok
‘I have to keep reminding myself that I asked for this’
Despite the guilt, Rihanna explicitly mentions trying to figure out a balance so that she can feel fulfilled when she shows up for something without guilt. “I don’t like letting people down, but I also know that most of that is me letting myself down, which means something has to change,” she said. “But everything is on the wheel at all times. I have to keep reminding myself that I asked for this, I love this.”
It’s a sentiment so many of us can relate to. Whether you’re clocking in for a shift, running a business, or simply taking an hour for yourself, the feeling that something—or someone—is being shortchanged is hard to shake. But Rihanna’s words serve as a reminder that we’re not alone in this feeling, and that guilt doesn’t mean we’re failing—it means we care.
Raising two wildly different boys
Amidst the chaos of career and motherhood, Rihanna is soaking up every moment with her boys, marveling at how different they are.
“RZA is just an empath. He’s so magical. He loves music. He loves melody. He loves books,” she said. “And Riot, he’s just hilarious. When he wakes up, he starts to squeal, scream. Not in a crying way. He just wants to sing. And I’m like, ‘Okay, here we go!’ He’s my alarm in the morning! He’s not taking no for an answer from anyone. I don’t know where he came from, dude.”
RZA, like many older siblings, took some time adjusting to his baby brother, but now, Rihanna jokes that Riot is fully aware of his role as the boss baby. “At first, Riot was understanding that his role was being the little brother. Now he knows he’s in charge.” (Interestingly, the name ‘Riot’ came from Pharrell Williams, who suggested it when he thought Rihanna was expecting a girl.)
Related: Rihanna is loving that boy mom life: ‘I thought I was a girl mom, but I’m a boy mom’
The ever-turning wheel of motherhood
Rihanna’s honesty is refreshing because it puts words to what so many moms feel every single day. The guilt. The self-doubt. The constant push-and-pull between wanting to be everything for your kids and still holding onto the pieces of yourself that make you, well, you.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s the real takeaway here: It’s okay to love both. It’s okay to miss your kids when you’re working, and miss your work when you’re with your kids. It’s okay to feel the guilt and keep going anyway. Because if Rihanna—global superstar, beauty mogul, and mother—feels it too, then maybe none of us are getting it wrong.
And maybe, just maybe, we’re getting it exactly right.
