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Quotes of the Week: Night Court, Curb, Abbott Elementary, Grammys and More

Quotes of the Week: Night Court, Curb, Abbott Elementary, Grammys and More
Quotes of the Week: Night Court, Curb, Abbott Elementary, Grammys and More

In the spirit of Super Bowl Sunday, let’s honor some recent touchdowns of the verbal variety, eh? (Is that even a thing? We’re not sure. Just go with it.)

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In the Quotes of the Week compilation below, we’ve gathered a dozen of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.

This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Chicago Med, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Night Court, plus a conversation from Not Dead Yet that features the highest number of insults in any single TV scene this week. Probably, at least.

Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of FEUD: Capote vs. the Swans, Abbott Elementary and the Grammy Awards, plus quotable moments from Family Law and The Traitors.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Charlie Mason and Dave Nemetz)

NIGHT COURT

NIGHT COURT
NIGHT COURT

“Your client has a history of violent outbursts. She’s thrown phones at Davids Beckham, Copperfield and Schwimmer.”

“Two out of anger… one out of love.”

Judge Abby (Melissa Rauch) dives into the diva antics of fabulous fashion maven Erika Ellis (Jenifer Lewis)

66TH ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS

66TH ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS
66TH ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS

“You don’t really understand. I came really, really far. I can’t believe this is happening, and it feels very fake … Hi, Taylor! I love you! … I’m just very grateful. I’m not an attractive crier. Have a good evening!”

Not since Olivia Colman won her Oscar have we so enjoyed an emotional, scatter-brained acceptance speech like this one from SZA

66TH ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)

66TH ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)
66TH ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)

“Thank you all so much! I don’t think I forgot anyone… but I might have forgotten underwear. Bye!”

Never change, Miley!

NOT DEAD YET

NOT DEAD YET
NOT DEAD YET

“Has anyone ever told you you resemble a stalk of asparagus?”

“You look like you’ve eaten all the lemons.”

“You look like someone who can’t eat dairy and loves to tell everyone about it.”

“You look like you want to talk to my manager.”

Lexi (Lauren Ash) and Edward (Rick Glassman) share barbs

FAMILY LAW

FAMILY LAW
FAMILY LAW

“Isn’t he the guy from those cheesy detective movies?”

The Peach Pie Mysteries. Eleanor and I love that franchise. It’s like a warm hug, minus the murders.”

Abigail (Jewel Staite) points out their new client to superfan Jerri (Bobbi Charlton)

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY

“All these rules are so… hard… and rigid.”

“Well, here’s a rule: Put your arms away, Jeremy Allen Black.”

Ava (Janelle James) isn’t swayed by Gregory’s (Tyler James Williams) flexed biceps

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)

“Jacob, whip out the Walkman!”

“Phone.”

“Open up Napster!”

“Spotify.”

“Jesus, close your ears!”

Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) might not know what’s current, but she’s got a plan to get the old Ava back using Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Up”

CHICAGO MED

CHICAGO MED
CHICAGO MED

“Is that portrait mode?”

Zola (Sophia Ali) examines a d—k pic that Hannah received from an interested pharma rep

THE TRAITORS

THE TRAITORS
THE TRAITORS

“What can you really do with $500? You can’t buy a good pair of shoes with that!”

Needless to say, we probably don’t shop at the same stores Phaedra does

FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS

FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS
FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS

“To be a woman is to be very much out on a limb alone. So don’t pretend that there is such a thing as a best friend, because even your sister will steal your man.”

Jaded much, Lee Radziwill (Calista Flockhart)?

FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS (Bonus Quote!)

FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS (Bonus Quote!)
FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS (Bonus Quote!)

“Now what is the purpose of inviting a bunch of celebrities if you’re only going to get them to cover their faces?”

Truman’s mama (Jessica Lange) makes like the Ghost of Party Poopers Past by scoffing at his masquerade ball

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

“I really did the best under the circumstances of a person who hates people and yet had to be amongst them.”

Larry (Larry David) cops to having bad energy and ruining every party he’s ever been to

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