Queen Elizabeth's 'true favourite' in the Royal Family who she called 'Mama'
After losing her own mother, Mary, when she was 40, the Duchess of Edinburgh’s unique bond with the late Queen Elizabeth was something she cherished very deeply. “With the exception of her daughter Anne, the Queen was closer to Sophie than any of the other royal women,” says biographer Ingrid Seward.
“It really was a genuine closeness, and Elizabeth was always Sophie’s biggest confidante. The Queen found her very down to earth, because she refused to have expensive security and things like that, and she loved her lack of airs and graces. I think she saw Sophie as a bit of a surrogate daughter, too.”
Suggesting their relationship was indeed a maternal one, a speech in October 2019 famously saw Sophie refer to Elizabeth as “Mama”. Their affection for one another became increasingly apparent over the years, and they would often be seen smiling and laughing together at official events. Following the Queen’s death, aged 96, in September 2022, Sophie was clearly distraught, and she was seen in tears as she read messages among the sea of flowers laid outside Balmoral.
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She also wept as she and husband Prince Edward watched their two children, James and Louise, stood vigil by the Queen’s coffin in Westminster Abbey. “Sophie had a wonderful relationship with the Queen, and she never saw it as a chore,” says royal writer and TV commentator Katie Nicholl. “She was very willing to step up and provide support when needed, and she did it with quiet enthusiasm, and always with a cheerful smile. I think in return, Elizabeth learned not just to rely on Sophie, but to trust her implicitly.”
There were many unifying links between the two women, and they would often settle down together at Windsor Castle to watch old war films or documentaries. They were known to explore the archives at Windsor Castle too, and Ingrid adds, “They had a real love of military history in common. Sophie apparently once went to the First World War battlefields and museums of northern France, which obviously the Queen wasn’t able to do. So Sophie rang her from there to tell her about it.”
According to reports, the Duchess also once encouraged the Queen to watch Netflix series The Crown, with a courtier revealing, “It was only when Sophie mentioned that everyone seemed to be talking about it – and why didn’t they give it a try, that the Queen agreed for it to be shown at Windsor Castle one weekend.” It was even claimed that Edward joined them and that they enjoyed it – “though the Queen kept interrupting to point out when things were wrong”.
In addition, Sophie was often given a rare invite to travel by car with the Queen to church services at Sandringham and Balmoral, with the monarch reportedly finding her company “soothing” amid the chaos of royal family get-togethers. When restrictions were lifted during the pandemic, Sophie would regularly visit the Queen at Windsor too, going for gentle walks around the castle grounds. The bond between the two women extended as far back as the beginning of Sophie’s romance with Edward, the Queen’s youngest son.
“I think she saw in Sophie a very sensible young woman, and she was quick to welcome her into the inner circle,” says Katie. “Sophie knew her place in the hierarchy of the Firm, and never caused any problems. Even in the early days, when there was a bit of drama surrounding her, the Queen stood by her. It could have been a nail in the coffin for her as a royal bride, but the Queen was very sympathetic. She was always so fond of Sophie, and that characterised their relationship for decades to come.”
Another factor in her popularity with the Queen appears to have been her strong affinity with Prince Philip, who died in April 2021 at the age of 99. “I think she really appreciated that Sophie made such a big effort with Philip, especially with her interest in carriage driving,” says Ingrid. Sophie has often been seen driving a carriage in the grounds of Windsor like her late father-in-law, and of course, the hobby is adored by daughter Louise too.
“It’s lovely the way that one of the late Duke of Edinburgh’s big traditions has continued on through Sophie and Louise, and that they shared that connection,” says Katie. “I think Philip also liked the fact Sophie was never loud or brash. There was a mutual respect between them.” Sophie’s love of the great outdoors was a major plus-point as far as the Queen and Philip were concerned. “For all her glamour, Sophie is a bit of a country girl at heart,” adds Katie. “She’s very happy up at Balmoral, makeup-free, in the drizzle and wind with all the midges. She has never been precious in any way and I think the Queen and Philip both found that appealing.”
Philip and Sophie both had a passion for cooking too, and in an interview recorded before his death in 2021, BBC One documentary Prince Philip: The Royal Family Remembers, Sophie said, “Cooking is something I love talking to him about. And he loves watching cookery programmes. Hairy Bikers I think is one of his favourites.” While speaking to the BBC’s Naga Muchetty about the loss of Philip in June 2021, Sophie fought back tears, saying his death had “left a giant-sized hole in our lives”.
She also spoke emotionally of a photograph she took in 2003 of the Queen and Philip at the top of the Coyles of Muick in Scotland. She admitted that a visit to the same spot with Edward and their children after Philip’s death was a real “‘Oh, my God’ moment,” and added, “I had the same when I lost my mother. I’d be fine – absolutely fine, fine, fine – and something happened, or you’d hear a piece of music, or you’d do something and suddenly you would, you know, get taken off at the knees. There will be lots of moments like that, but it’s good to remember.”
