According to the Internet, men who fail to read between the lines of flirty text messages explode into a million pieces.
Golly gosh! Best cheat death by checking out this handy guide then, eh?
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What she says: “I’m about to send you a hot pic” then sends you something silly.
What she really means: She’s using her sense of humour to win your heart.
What you should do: If you find it funny, tell her. If you don’t find it funny, tell her.
What she says: “I just got out of the shower”
What she really means: I’m in my PJ’s eating pickled onion Monster Munch and haagen-dazs but I’d prefer it if you had a fresh, naked, dewy image of me in your head right now.
What you should do: Download that dewy image and pop it in the bank for future evaluation.
What she says: “I know we just went out last night but do you want to get some pizza later?”
What she really means: Do you want to get some pizza with me, yes or no?
What you should do: Don’t play games, pizza is a serious business.
What she says: “LOL”
What she means: Nice try but what you said wasn’t that funny. I’m gonna give you a ‘LOL’ though because I’m sensitive and don’t want you to feel bad.
What you should do: Maybe stop borrowing lyrics from your dad?
Lolsnaps.com (edited image)
What she says: “LOLDEMORT”
What she means: I’m laughing out loud right now (I’m also a fan of the Harry Potter stories, do with that information what you will, it’s really of no consequence to me).
What you should do: Bask in the joy of bringing laughter to others.
What she says: “At work having very NSFW thoughts about you”
What she means: I’m in the toilets at work, please text me back because I’m bored (I have also genuinely had a few sexy thoughts about you though).
What you should do: Send her a picture of some burning coals.
REX Ltd/Shutterstock (edited image)
What she says: “Be there in 15 minutes”
What she means: I’m actually about 25 - 30 late but I can’t bring myself to tell you the truth because you’ll hate me and I already hate myself for making you wait. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.
What you should do: Be patient. She’s genuinely excited about seeing you, things just took a little longer than expected.