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The places Telegraph readers never want to visit again

Naples proved a divisive destination among our readers - Francesco Riccardo Iacomino
Naples proved a divisive destination among our readers - Francesco Riccardo Iacomino

Few things published on these pages have been received with as much adulation as Anthony Peregrine’s recent “anti bucket list”, detailing 15 things he’s either done and never wants to do again, or hasn’t done, and is keen for it to remain so. They included rock festivals, skiing, swimming with dolphins, spas, souks and camping.

“I wondered if I could have written this article in my sleep – it echoes my thoughts so completely,” said Anne Laidler.

“What really annoys me about this article is that I could never write something so effortlessly witty,” added Thomas Donnelly.

“Great article,” concurred Craig Austin. “Done with humour – something we all need at the moment and which seems to be fading fast.”

While readers approved of most of the items on Anthony’s list, there were some minor disagreements and an awful lot of suggested additions.

Don’t pick on Naples – or Antarctica

Antarctica; utterly spectacular and well worth a visit - Ashley Cooper
Antarctica; utterly spectacular and well worth a visit - Ashley Cooper

Our correspondent’s verdict on Naples? “Filthy and menacing”. Gavin Charlton Brown, among others, agreed. “We were attacked in the middle of the place, in the middle of the day,” he said. “Nobody helped us but, although my wife Sarah was robbed, I managed to get my teeth into the robber’s wrist and she kicked him between the legs.”

But the Italian port had its defenders too. Bill Palmer called it “a fantastic city with a vibrant culture and fascinating history”. Diane Higgins described it as “gritty but lively – a real city where people actually live, not just a tourist fantasy land”. Janet Dennis added: “I must stand up for Naples: it’s beautifully situated and characterful at the same time, it has the best food in all of Italy, and I’m not just talking about the pizzas, and an amazing archaeological museum, the perfect companion to Pompeii and Herculaneum.”

As for Antarctica (“a spot where being freezing is the key characteristic”, according to Anthony), Gary Thomas said it was his “best trip ever – and I’ve been to 80-odd countries.” Andrew Dodds added: “The only one I’d disagree with is Antarctica. It’s utterly spectacular and well worth a visit.”

What about Dubai?

Dubai came up repeatedly among readers' least favourite destinations - E+
Dubai came up repeatedly among readers' least favourite destinations - E+

As for destinations that ought to have been on Anthony’s list, readers left no stone unturned to create an extensive directory. Dubai came up repeatedly, which wasn’t a shock – it is widely considered a “love it or hate it” city. Other predictable suggestions included Los Angeles (another notorious ‘Marmite’ destination), Benidorm, Blackpool, Disney World and Center Parcs.

More surprising were the nominations for Australia (“Big fat load of overrated hot nothing,” said one reader), Iceland (“Freezing cold and exceedingly expensive,” said Mark Veness. “Geysers and whales can be seen somewhere much more accommodating.”), New Orleans (Ruth Ibbotson called it “full of naff tat and druggies”), the Maldives (“pointless”, said Alison Dunn) and Bali (Margaret Pearson said: “Wonderful once, but now just Benidorm for Australians”). It seems one person’s holiday paradise is another’s hellhole.

A few of you also suggested Athens, the cradle of Western Civilization, including David Evans, who wrote: “I was lured by a spiv into a sleazy bar opposite my hotel and robbed of over 300 euros, and felt lucky to get away with that going by the look of the heavies sitting in the corner and the way the door was closed behind me. Furthermore, the star attractions are extraordinarily busy, though they are spectacular, and the traffic and pollution dreadful.”

No reader was as comprehensive as Mark Liddiard, however, who rattled out 15 places he never wishes to visit again, with very concise reasons:

“1. Kuwait: dull and no beer. 2. Memphis: very dangerous. 3. Paris: expensive and smelly in summer. 4. Ahmedabad: like a badly organised version of Kuwait. 5. Dubai: vulgar and now full of Russians. 6. St Tropez: vulgar but possibly less Russians now. 7. Venice: like Paris but with a lagoon rather than a river. 8. Monaco: a well run version of Paris on the coast. 9. Marseille: a badly run version of Paris on the coast. 10. Phoenix: now that Alice Cooper’s restaurant has closed. 11. Los Angeles: a badly run version of NYC. 12. Buffalo: see Niagara Falls from the Canadian side. 13. Johannesburg: more dangerous than Memphis. 14: Kuala Lumpur: a badly run version of Singapore. 15. Auckland:  far too liberal for its own good.”

All at sea

Cruise ships; basically a high-rise tower block, says one reader - Alamy
Cruise ships; basically a high-rise tower block, says one reader - Alamy

Perhaps the most noted omission among readers was cruises. Enjoyed by millions around the world they may be, it seems just as many people are adamant they’ll never take one.

“Tried it once, just to see what the fuss was about, and hated it from the moment we boarded,” said a reader going by the moniker ‘Artemus Prime’. “Do this, don’t do that, eat at this time, this is your assigned table, come up on deck and enjoy the mini Disney World full of screaming kids, pay extortionate prices for a drink (after they have searched your bags on boarding) and on and on and on. It turned out to be one of the most stressful three days I have had to endure.”

“The thought of being incarcerated with hundreds of strangers with only a not-very-comfortable cabin to which to escape fills me with claustrophobic horror,” added Irene Tuckett.

Charles de Haan was similarly dismissive: “Costs thousands to be cooped up in what is basically a high-rise tower block tipped on its side and dropped onto a hull. It’s telling that even tourist traps like Venice are banning these monster cruise ships from entering port.”

In defence of China

The Great Wall of China; a spectacular feat of construction with amazing scenery - Alamy
The Great Wall of China; a spectacular feat of construction with amazing scenery - Alamy

Anthony’s article suggested a trip to the Great Wall was “not enough compensation for the eating of monkey brains, rice wine, dictatorship and other downsides of China.”

John Armstrong was unable to bite his tongue. “The mention of eating monkey brains in China was a cheap shot,” he said. “I lived in China for nine years and never encountered anything so weird. I experienced the finest culinary experiences anybody could wish for. I never ate Western food because every day was an adventure in food. I still miss it.”

Jeremy Wilson added: “What a naive, uninformed view of China you have. I have visited two different sections of the Great Wall, away from the main tourist areas, and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience of seeing such a spectacular feat of construction together with the amazing scenery. As a bonus I didn’t have to eat any monkey brains, drink rice wine or be affected by a dictator to enjoy it either.”

Leave the dolphins alone

Swimming with dolphins; distinctly underwhelming and incredibly overpriced - E+
Swimming with dolphins; distinctly underwhelming and incredibly overpriced - E+

Nobody was willing to stick up for swimming with dolphins, however. One reader, going by the name ‘Conservative Teacher’, said: “I swam with dolphins recently. It was distinctly underwhelming and incredibly overpriced. I left wondering why anyone does it and the only thing I could come up with was the bragging rights you’d get when you post your photos.”

Richard Cooper, meanwhile, had an anecdote to share: “I went to admire the dolphins at Whipsnade, and watched them through the underwater glass. One of them swam up close to me and our eyes met. It pushed its belly close to the glass and I saw it had a navel, just like me, and I felt a great sense of affinity. Then it defecated directly at my face and swam away. I swear it was laughing.”

Staying grounded

Bungee jumping; excessive back traction with potential death thrown in as an extra - Getty
Bungee jumping; excessive back traction with potential death thrown in as an extra - Getty

As for other activities on your anti bucket list, a theme quickly developed: anything that raises the pulse has no place on holiday itineraries.

“Skydiving,” said Lesley Harvey. “I would only jump out of an aeroplane if it was on fire.”

“Bungee jumping,” said Diana Lees. “It’s excessive back traction with potential death thrown in as an extra.”

“Running marathons and ‘wild’ swimming,” said Nick Smith. “The most pointless activities known to humankind.”

“Ballooning,” said S. White. “Bought it for the daughter once: madly inconvenient start time and cancelled because of the weather.”

Andrew Lloyd Webber – and paninis

Paninis; consistently underwhelming to some - Alamy
Paninis; consistently underwhelming to some - Alamy

While Anthony’s list consisted of travel-related items, readers did not wish to be so constrained, with several nominating the musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber, Mark Humphris suggesting hot-tubs and James Wright plumping for… turmeric lattes.

Emma Supple was equally specific. She wrote: “First on my list is paninis: they over promise and under deliver. Life really is too short.”

Andrew Smith is putting cold showers into his own personal Room 101: “I don’t want to feel ‘so alive’. I want to feel warm.”

Free food and drink, dancing till the early hours… surely we all like weddings? Not Simon Hollowood. “Weddings should be added to this list,” he said. “Every wedding I’ve attended overseas has ended in divorce, every wedding I’ve been to in Scotland ended in divorce and every family wedding has ended in divorces. Very overrated.”

Ann Stokell, meanwhile, came up with five items: “Attempt to use chopsticks. Become vegan, even for a day. Visit a ‘health’ farm or have colonic irrigation. Ride a motorbike, e-scooter or Segway. Befriend the local vicar.” Was that any local vicar, or did she have one in mind?


What are the holidays and/or activities on your anti-bucket list? Join the conversation in the comments section below