How to be the perfect dad on holiday
Being a parent on a summer holiday is tough. While every family’s approach is different, a break in the sunshine with your offspring can be a constant juggling act in hope of finding the perfect balance. Why then, despite all the effort, have dads abroad become the laughing stock of Europe’s holiday hotspots?
As thousands of British families enjoy the last weeks of the summer, social media platforms are awash with footage of men becoming all Sergeant Major about catching a flight under the hashtag #AirportDads. Inspired, Heathrow Airport has recruited staff to present frazzled fathers with complimentary restaurant vouchers, lounge access and facials. easyJet has also launched a club for embarrassing dads at one of its Spanish resorts, designated for those who complain loudly on holiday, dance badly and wear socks with sandals (fashionistas might argue this is actually quite in vogue these days).
Why do we find these old stereotypes so funny though? Is it because parental roles are now much less defined? On holiday, my husband cooks, carries, drives up daunting mountain roads, gets up early to hunt for fresh pastries and goes to bed last, locking up at night. My grandfather used to make all the arrangements for my mother’s holidays. He drove everyone to the beach, but once he was settled into a deckchair – often still in his jacket and tie – all that followed was granny’s domain.
Fast forward to the TikTok generation and we now are laughing at dads for taking such responsibilities too seriously. But do dads deserve to take all the flack? Emma Citron, a consultant clinical psychologist, believes that being ultra-organised “is down to personality, rather than gender.” In fact, I know several airport mums. “Some people like to be in control and that can be mum or dad,” she says.
Rob Kemp, author of The New Dad’s Survival Guide and Dadding It!, stands in defence of those who might embarrass their kids on holiday. “We’re a bit demob happy,” he explains. “We’re finding our own way to relax during holidays and attempting to bond with kids who we don’t spend enough time with outside vacations. It’s bound to be awkward at first.”
How to be the perfect dad on holiday
“Don’t bother trying,” says Citron, “they [perfect dads] don’t exist. Just be yourself. Children will pick up on your interest where it’s genuine.” She also suggests that dads shouldn’t expect to have a great time at the start of a holiday. “Just go with the flow,” she says. “It can take a few days for dads to wind down and become more easygoing.”
Holidays are a great opportunity to get everyone outside their comfort zones, however. “Encourage children to try new things without forcing them,” says Citron. My husband, for example, claims to feel like a motivational coach on our holidays – he’s there “to get everyone out of bed and doing something interesting with the day.” Our youngest followed his lead recently by eating a roasted grub from a street food stall in Thailand – I’m still not convinced it was something to be celebrated but it certainly made show and tell at nursery interesting.
Holidays are a great opportunity for one generation to pass skills or knowledge onto the next. Kemp remembers learning about WW2 pill boxes from his dad; about how water makes better sand castles and about how to hunt for cockles. “The quality time with dad, learning about life outdoors was more fun than I’d imagined it would be,” he says. “Dad was from a generation that made their own entertainment and I picked up an interest in history and an inquisitiveness from our holidays.”
Rather than embarrassing kids by snoring on a sun lounger beside the pool, today’s active dads are keen to show them how to have fun away from their screens. Tom Prazsky, one such father, managed to convince his two younger teenage boys to go on a family hike in Thailand recently by encouraging them, bit by bit, just to see what was round the next corner.
Flexibility is also key to embarrassment-free success. On arriving at a famously-beautiful beach in Australia after a 45-minute walk, Prazsky had to turn back almost immediately when his son declared he needed the toilet. When his son’s shoe fell from the long-drop toilet into the snake-infested bush beneath, the pair still managed to find fun in the adventure – and, naturally, good old dad was tasked with finding it. “The experiences you imagine enjoying with your kids don’t always turn out in the way you expect,” says Prazky. “But the fun is in the stories you make along the way.”
How to change your holiday dad habits
“Holidays give you the chance to prioritise your children over your own needs, so don’t be selfish or rigid,” agrees Citron.
Matt Turner, a dad of two girls, regularly plays peacemaker on his family holidays. “My aim is to achieve a zen-like holiday mode, so we can rise above petty squabbles and fully engage in having an awesome time,” he says.
Citron suggests sitting down to discuss how to include all family members in the trip before you go away. Partners can help each other by taking ownership of different aspects of the holiday, from cooking to researching driving routes; putting together a first aid kit or sourcing and packing sports equipment.
But ultimately, “Don’t try too hard,” says Kemp. “Enjoy it for yourself and let your kids do their own thing. The shared activities you’ll stumble across will stick in your kids’ memories more than any dubious dad dancing.”
