People Are Sharing The Small But Significant Signs That Someone Isn't Actually Your Friend, And You Miiiight Need To Cut Some People Off
Recently, Redditor u/Scamuel-L-Taxin asked those in the Reddit community to share the small but significant signs that indicate someone isn't actually your friend, and the responses were insightful:
1."If you find that a lot of the humor in your friend group is at your expense, you need to reevaluate. 'Ribbing' only works if everyone is an equal target, and even then, it's kind of toxic."
2."They say you have an 'open invitation,' but they never actually invite you to anything."
3."When they don't celebrate your successes. There is nothing innately wrong with competition, but some people want you to lose as much as they want to win. Thoughts become words and actions, which puts you at risk of being 'taken down a peg' when they feel like your successes threaten their image. It's pettiness at its core. They don't want to shine with you, they want to shine brighter than you. Those people are not your friends."
4."If they talk crap about anyone and everyone, they probably talk crap about you."
5."They devalue your experiences. 'I did that two years ago,' 'Everyone has experienced that, it's not a big deal,' 'I wouldn't get too excited.' That kind of crap."
6."When they agree with you on everything."
7."A lowkey sign someone isn't really your friend is if they only reach out when they need something but disappear when you need support. True friendships are mutual, not one-sided."
8."They act different when it's just you two versus when others are around."
9."They don't remember anything personal about you, like your hometown, your significant other's name, etc."
10."Selfishness — when they don't care about how you feel about things. A huge pet peeve of mine is when I have a 'friend' who actively spends time with the person who absolutely screwed me over."
11."Telling you they're busy but always have time for others."
12."When they talk to you, they only talk about themselves and the things that directly concern them."
13."They're always late or making you late to things, or they outright flake on you."
14."They stop texting or making plans the minute they start dating someone."
15."You feel like an accessory to everything they do and never part of the main attraction."
16."When they give backhanded compliments or joke about the things you're insecure about."
17.Lastly: "When your friend sees you only as a therapist. It's fine if it's once in a while and they need a friend to just vent to and get advice from, but if your 'friend' always goes to you to vent and doesn't talk about anything else other than their issues, then that's not okay. This happened with my former friend-now-acquaintance. They would vent to me about their issues and their drama and would ignore whatever advice I gave them. It would stress the crap out of me until, finally, I told them I wasn't going to listen to them if that was all the conversation between us was going to be."
"I think people who do this and don't take their friends' advice are looking for attention. You can agree or disagree; I don't care. I’m just saying this is how I think. It’s not okay to just have a 'therapist friend' who is there for you, and yet you are not there for them. If you need a therapist, then get a licensed one to talk about your issues with."
Luckily, none of my friends display any of these behaviors, and I love them so much for it. What do you think is a sign that someone isn't a real friend? Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your thoughts using this form!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
