How to get over your fear of discussing finances and get paid what you deserve
The British stiff upper lip might be a well-worn stereotype, but for many, displays of stoicism and politeness still colour the way we interact with others. While this may provide us with a loose social framework for greeting strangers and making small talk, for bigger, more necessary communications, it is pretty useless. Alongside issues of class and status, it probably goes some way towards explaining why Brits are so uniquely bad at talking about money. So bad, in fact, we’d rather lose out financially than ask to be paid what we are owed.
New research by fintech brand GoCardless found that 25% of small business owners feel uncomfortable talking to customers and suppliers about money. A staggering 73% said that they would rather lose 10% of their revenue than have that awkward conversation about money at all.
What’s more, the stats highlighted a gender gap between business owners, too. While 44% of female leaders said they found it too awkward to chase customers for money owed, only 35% of men in similar positions said the same. As to the reasons why this was, 55% of women owners said it was because they didn’t want to appear rude.
It is a subject author, podcaster and successful one-woman enterprise Emma Gannon has been passionately discussing for years.
“It’s something we shouldn’t generalise too much, I know plenty of men who struggle more than me, for example, to be direct about money,” she tells us.
“But on the whole, we can’t ignore the research. Women are more apologetic, it seems, or feel more overwhelmed, or don’t have the tools to confidently get across what they are trying to say without being called difficult, or impolite, or aggressive, or bossy.
“These are things I know firsthand. You're scared of being labelled, and you want to get more work. Deep down, I think companies almost exploit the people-pleasing element in all of us. They know that we don’t want to burn any bridges or rock the boat; we want to do our job and then do it again. So being that 'difficult woman' on email trying to get paid is hard.”
It doesn’t help, Gannon continues, that women are often excluded from conversations about money from a young age, and conditioned by gendered financial advice.
“Women in meetings trying to get investment into their businesses have to go in and prove to people that their model is working before people take them seriously, whereas men come in with like, a napkin with ideas on it, and get taken seriously,” she says.
“We have to look at the way women were spoken to in the media up until recently, too. For women, it was like, ‘Save!’ and ‘Splurge’ and pink money banks to emphasise spending money, whereas for men, it was all about investing, growth, all these positive words. I think the way women are spoken to about their finances is extremely patronising.”
So how do we decode decades of false programming and start to get more comfortable with asking for what we are owed? Here are Gannon's tried-and-tested tips for taking back control.
1/ Invest in the tech to automate as much as you possibly can
Consider getting a third party involved in the invoicing process, Gannon suggests.
“So that can be an app, like GoCardless, where you can literally put in the bank details of the client and they are automatically on a direct debit, so there is no chasing when you are going to get paid by them,” she says. “That’s really good if you’re working with the same people over and over again. Or, invest in a person to help you. The rise of the virtual assistant is huge, and I know it is an investment, but you can really make it work for you.”
2/ Prepare as much in advance as possible – and clearly state your terms
“Do as much as you can in advance to have all your ducks in a row first, so that you know everything has been done the way it should be your end. So that means stating your payment terms really clearly. When do you want to be paid? For some people it is 30 days, for some people it is less. You get to set your rules on this. It is your business, and you are the person they need.
“Some do it in small-print on an invoice, but put it in an email, put it in bold, underline it.
“Also, make sure you have any supplier forms or anything like that in advance, and also ask for the contact details of the person who you will need to chase. Knowing that person really helps.”
3/ Ask to be paid up front for a portion of your job
“This is something a lot women I know do fear asking because you fear you are being too much, almost,” she continues. “But asking for 50% up front, or 25% up front - it really isn’t that crazy to ask that. I know plenty of people that don’t do any work until they are paid this.”
Think of it like a deposit for them, and financial assurance for you before you start.
4/ Ask for a late payment fee
“It is on the government website. It is actually a legal requirement and that is within your right to say that," Gannon points out. "And I think using that language really helps. It is something that has been signed off. It is a policy.”
Get used to adding it and re-invoicing when clients or customers are particularly behind to incentivise them to pay up on time. Visit gov.uk for more advice on your rights. It is a good idea to add this information in with your payment terms.
5/ Build close relationships with people
“Be honest. Openly communicate with people. We can get very confused over email and we can take things out of context, so having a key contact to call is really important.
“Be kind to yourself, and realise that you are well within your rights to be asking. It is about slowly building up that confidence. It is about small steps and realising that nothing bad is going to happen from you being more honest. Only good things are going to happen from that.”
Emma Gannon has partnered with GoCardless, a fintech that takes the pain out of getting paid, to get small businesses talking more openly about money.
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