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NYC women’s insanely high dating standards are screwing them over: expert

Six feet tall, a six-pack and a six-figure salary.

That’s seemingly the bare minimum men must possess to impress ambitious single women in New York City, where many are also hoping their date is endowed with a trust fund, an Ivy League degree and a summer house in the Hamptons.

A recent survey from dating app Flirtini found that a whopping 80% of women are open to lowering their standards, though, in order to meet a mate.

But are New York City’s single ladies willing to do the same?

It’s no secret that dating has always been a bloodspot in the Big Apple, where the world’s most eligible and ambitious jockey to bolster both their prospects and social standing, but the list of non-negotiables is seemingly more outlandish than ever.

“I 100% would not date a guy [who lives] in Queens, and I do a heavy stalk before saying yes to anyone who lives in Brooklyn or Jersey,” one persnickety Manhattanite, 30, told The Post.

“All three of my last boyfriends have Wikipedia pages,” another selective singleton, 23, weighed in.

“Money’s nice,” one New York dater, 24, declared. “A private jet sweetens the deal.”

It makes sense why New York’s single ladies have sky-high standards.

Young women now out-earn young men in Manhattan.

Why would they waste time with a male who doesn’t measure up?

Dating expert Amber Soletti believes it’s okay to have high standards in some areas — but others should be open for negotiation. instagram/ambersoletti
Dating expert Amber Soletti believes it’s okay to have high standards in some areas — but others should be open for negotiation. instagram/ambersoletti

But would it be wise for Big Apple beauties to lower their standards for lasting love?

Are the super successful, super fussy daters hurting themselves waiting for a perfect partner who may not even exist?

Dating expert Amber Soletti says yes — and no.

“I have met tons of singles through my dating events — both men and women — who have crazy expectations for their partner and I feel sad for a lot of them who are clearly feeling lonely and going to remain single forever,” Soletti told The Post.

The dating expert says she understands “dating deal-breakers” and “used to be one of the worst offenders” when she lived in Manhattan. (She now resides in Austin, Texas, where she’s happily married.)

“When someone presents me with a list of 20 plus things they have to have, I ask them to try cutting it down to five to 10 things, and they then all of a sudden have so many more options,” she says.

Dating apps have also fueled the fastidiousness with which women can select their prospective suitors.

Infamous 2009 research found women rate a massive 80% of men as unattractive or “below average,” and Bumble and Hinge have only accelerated “the ick.

The next generation of Carrie Bradshaws aren’t swiping on a schlub with unfiltered fishing photos on his profile.

The next generation of Carrie Bradshaws aren’t swiping on a schlub with unfiltered fishing photos on his profile. They’re in hot pursuit of their own Mr. Big. © HBO/ Courtesy: Everett
The next generation of Carrie Bradshaws aren’t swiping on a schlub with unfiltered fishing photos on his profile. They’re in hot pursuit of their own Mr. Big. © HBO/ Courtesy: Everett

They’re in hot pursuit of their own Mr. Big.

“Dating was always a minefield but now I think it’s even crazier because you can always scroll and find someone cooler or hotter or richer,” one 46-year-old single told The Post.

Still, there are some surprising things that relationship guru Soletti believes women shouldn’t budge on.

A recent survey from dating app Flirtini found a whopping 80% of women are open to lowering their standards to meet a mate — but are New York City’s single ladies willing to do the same? Prostock-studio – stock.adobe.com
A recent survey from dating app Flirtini found a whopping 80% of women are open to lowering their standards to meet a mate — but are New York City’s single ladies willing to do the same? Prostock-studio – stock.adobe.com

If you’re only attracted to men of a certain height or physique, you may be superficial, but it’s okay to keep your high standards, she asserts.

Meanwhile, the guru says dating someone with the same political beliefs and views on child rearing should also be a non-negotiable.

“If you try to compromise on those types of deal-breakers, you are going to end up in a relationship with a lot of arguing, resentment and eventual demise,” she explained.

Former Big Apple denizen Amber Soletti now resides in Austin, Texas, where she’s happily married. instagram/ambersoletti
Former Big Apple denizen Amber Soletti now resides in Austin, Texas, where she’s happily married. instagram/ambersoletti

But Soletti asserts that New York City’s singles should think twice before writing off a man based on his income.

“There are a lot of very financially successful men that work in other less glamorous jobs and industries that they [single women] won’t consider because they don’t work in finance, real estate, law or entertainment, or whatever ‘sexy’ profession they have built their fantasy around,” she explained.

Other women, she says, refuse to date men who are younger than them.

True love still exists in New York City: A happy couple is pictured in Times Square on Valentine’s Day. Anadolu via Getty Images
True love still exists in New York City: A happy couple is pictured in Times Square on Valentine’s Day. Anadolu via Getty Images

Her advice: Lower that standard by lowering your age cut-off.

“A lot of women won’t even take the time to get to know a guy that doesn’t fall within their ‘age range’ who could very well be bringing everything to the table they are looking for, not to mention likely have less ‘baggage,'” the relationship expert declared.

So, for those fussy ladies still looking for love in New York City, Soletti says you should simply re-evaluate — rather than disregard — your high standards.

“Don’t throw out all of your criteria,” she declared.

“Just be willing to compromise on some.”