The nine poshest places for a UK holiday
At this time of year, you may think they’d all be sunning themselves in Tuscany or the South of France (or the ‘S. of F.,’ as Nicky Haslam once referred to it in a postcard he sent me. Dead chic.) But no, toffs take holidays in the UK too. Here are the spots where you’re most likely to see one...
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It’s been the North Cornish Sloane favourite for nearly three decades now. Home to The Mariners pub, where teenagers (including me) used to hang out in the hope of spotting Prince William or Harry, and perhaps even snogging one of them in the nearby dunes (sadly I never snogged either of them).
It’s best to either own or rent a big house there (perfectstays.co.uk has a nice selection) or on Daymer Lane in Trebetherick (where David Cameron’s gaff is), but it’s also acceptable to stay in or near Polzeath. Catch a ferry to Padstow one day for lunch in one of the four Rick Steins.
St Mawes
An idyllic fishing village on the south Cornwall coast, opposite Falmouth (but don’t let that put you off). Ideally, you own one of the big, pretty houses on the waterfront but if you can’t stretch to that, stay at The Idle Rocks – an impeccably decorated hotel with sublime rooms and a restaurant that juts out over the water (doubles from £265 per night; idlerocks.com).
Bonus points if you also own a boat moored in the harbour, because you can sail up the Fal (a river) for a decent view of the Palladian-fronted stately Trelissick. Don’t miss lunch at The Hidden Hut nearby in Portscatho (hiddenhut.co.uk). It’s essentially a poshed-up shepherd’s hut that doles out delicious homemade sausage rolls, haddock chowder and ice cream from midday daily. Get there early to avoid the queue.
West Wittering
For goodness sake, don’t whatever you do accidentally buy a house in East Wittering. West Wittering, a mile from its easterly cousin, is the place you want to be. It’s a West Sussex seaside spot, very popular with posh families who send their teenagers to sailing school here in the summer holidays because knowing how to tie a reef knot is just as important as being able to play tennis and ski. Some of the houses here back on to the magnificent strip of sandy beach which is handy for walking the Labrador in the morning. Keep your eyes peeled for local resident Kate Winslet.
Burnham Overy Staithe
A decade ago, Burnham Market was considered the poshest town in North Norfolk because it wasn’t far from Prince William and Kate’s house in Anmer, and it boasted an Old Etonian fishmonger. But since then, it’s filled with boutiques and become rather crowded, so those who know better come to the nearby village of Burnham Overy Staithe. It’s smaller, quieter and right on the water, overlooking the marshes. Plus there’s an excellent pub called The Hero (theheroburnhamovery.co.uk).
Park up nearby, stroll down the footpath to see the sensational dunes on Holkham Beach, then wander back for a well-deserved lunch.
Southwold
Sorry, an obvious one, but it remains an immensely chi-chi patch of Suffolk – nicknamed Poshwold by some wags, Kensington-on-Sea by others and Notting-Hill-On-Sea by yet more. So popular, in fact, that last year one of the beach huts on the promenade was flogged for £300,000. There are plenty of bouji boutiques, bakeries and a very beloved bookshop. Lady Amelia Windsor is a big fan of The Swan, a pub with jazzy, Soho House-y interiors, set just back from the beach (doubles from £220 per night; theswansouthwold.co.uk). Read the full review here.
Any Hebridean island
Scotland has been a fashionable summer location for toffs since Queen Victoria and Albert made it popular. Head up there in August and you can barely move for men called Rupert striding about in tweed. The grandest sorts of all have their own Hebridean island or at the very least, a large estate on one of them. You probably won’t be lying on a sunbed and tanning while on holiday here.
Instead, you’ll most likely be killing things, either grouse, deer or fish. Take insect repellent to (try and) ward off the midges. Pack black tie since certain grand families still expect guests to dress up every night for dinner. Maybe learn the steps for a few Scottish reels since they’re very keen on those, too.
The Flete Estate
An absurdly pretty 5,000-acre estate on the south coast of Devon (where scenes from International Velvet and Sense and Sensibility were filmed), beloved by certain members of the Royal family. Rent one of the houses or cottages (flete.co.uk) but be warned that you may be put on a waiting list – some families have been returning here for years and book their slot for the following summer as soon as they leave.
Head to Mothecombe beach for a dip in the morning before it gets busy, then walk back up the hill for a swift one and a plate of Bang Bang prawns at the Schoolhouse (schoolhouse-devon.com). Stop off at The Surfing Cow on the way home for a cone (or tub) of homemade honeycomb ice cream (surfingcowicecream.co.uk). It’s the ice cream parlour with the best view in Britain. Mind how you go if you drive a Range Rover, because the narrow roads are clogged with them.
Salcombe
Another south Devon coastal spot, but best of luck if you’re thinking of driving down ahead of any bank holiday weekend, because over half the properties are classed as second homes, which means the roads from Fulham will be absolutely rammed. If you don’t own a second home here, you might stay in the Harbour Beach Club & Hotel (doubles from £160 per night; harbourhotels.co.uk), a relatively new upmarket hotel with its own pool, although locals may tut at you because the hotel’s construction was controversial. Book a table at The Winking Prawn for a lobster lunch (winkingprawn.co.uk); blend in by wearing Boden.
Tresco
One of the Isles of Scilly, technically owned by the Duchy of Cornwall (and therefore Prince William), but it’s been leased to the Dorrien-Smith family for over a century. It’s tiny, just two and a half miles long, and there are no cars so you have to cycle everywhere. Perfect, in other words, for a proper, old-fashioned bucket and spade holiday: think white sand, palm trees and almost tropical-coloured seas.
You might spy William and Kate, who have taken their children here for multiple family holidays. To get there, you could catch the ferry from Penzance but the smarter way is to take the chopper, also from Penzance, and land within 15 minutes.
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