A godmother isn’t sure if she is respecting her sister’s boundaries.
She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum to weigh in. Her sister recently gave birth and made her the baby’s godmother. But every time she tries to help her sister and brother-in-law with the baby, the couple seems to reject her. Now she is wondering if she crossed a line after her sister banned her from her home.
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“AITA for ‘overstepping’ my role as godmother?” she wrote. “So, about 3 months ago my beautiful nephew was born into the world. A little context into this, me and my husband have been trying to have a child since we got married 4 years ago. Nothing has worked. We’re at a point where it seems that adoption or surrogacy is our only real option. So when my sister got pregnant after only a few months of being married to BIL, I got jealous. I won’t lie about that. But, my sister came to me and said she knew what I was going through and wanted me to be her son’s godmother. I was ecstatic and decided I would do whatever was needed to help my sister and BIL out.”
“Well, things have quickly gone sour. It all started when I just asked if it would be possible to be present when she gives birth. She got incredibly offended at a simple question and blew up at me. After my nephew entered this world, I was over to their house every morning to help out. I made my sister and BIL breakfast lunch and dinner and bought whatever they needed. I now think that they have been taking advantage of me on this but I digress. Well, my BIL quickly turned on me claiming I was ‘demasculinizing’ him by constantly second-guessing his decisions when it came to my nephew. My BIL can be headstrong and just not think sometimes so I only ever offered my advice when I felt it was appropriate. Sister also turned on me recently when she wanted BIL to take the baby for a couple of hours so she could take a bath and watch a movie. I jumped in and said I would help so they could maybe have some alone time together and she got incredibly annoyed and asked me to leave that day.”
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“Well, last night I was over at their house again and offered to take the baby for a couple of hours. They told me no and said that I need to leave as soon as I’m done with the dinner that I made. I got pouty and said I wasn’t getting enough time with my nephew and my sister just lost it. Claims that I am an annoying presence who will not leave her alone for a single minute of the day. BIL chimed in and called me a ‘backseat mother’ and told me in a very rude and explicit tone that I am not their child’s ‘third parent.’
I did not partake in this and left, but called my mother up and the rest of the family agree they were way out of line. Well, only an hour later my sister called me back and said I am no longer welcome at their house and accused me of using our mom to shame her into letting me backseat mother her child (which is a complete lie). I called her out for exploiting my service and only giving me the role of godmother so I can be their chef and buy them things and hung up. Well, now the rest of the family is starting to change their tune, with people taking sides and either calling me a controlling backseat mother or exploited. So, AITA in this situation?”
Redditors thought the godmother was wrong here.
“You don’t get to make this decision. It’s their home, their marriage, and their child,” a person wrote.
“This isn’t your baby,” another said.
“I agree with her sister and would ban her from the house too,” someone added.
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