Millie Mackintosh was a ‘grey-area drinker’. Seven signs you could be one too

Marie-Claire Dorking
·Contributor
·7-min read
Millie Mackintosh attends the EE BAFTA Film Awards 2024, she has described herself as a grey-area drinker before giving up booze. (Getty Images)
Millie Mackintosh has said she was a 'grey-area drinker' before giving up alcohol. (Getty Images)

Millie Mackintosh has revealed she used to be a "grey-area drinker", explaining how she found it hard to break free from the cycle of alcohol.

Following her decision to cut alcohol from her life in August 2022, the author of Bad Drunk, a book exploring her relationship with alcohol, has opened up about how drinking negatively impacted her marriage, mental health and personality.

In a new interview, the former Made In Chelsea star reflected on recognising she had become a grey-are drinker. "A grey-area drinker is someone that's not dependent on alcohol but they frequently drink more than they plan to and frequently regret it," she told Women's Health. "They're living in the shame spiral that I was stuck in, where I drank to feel better and then didn't feel better, and then drank again to try to deal with the feelings that drinking had created."

Later in the interview she discussed how she initially decided to go booze-free temporarily but decided to stick to it. "The more I understood about what alcohol does to your health, the more I realised how careless I was being with my own health. Then I never wanted to go back to it," she explains.

Woman drinking on her own. (Getty Images)
What is a grey-area drinker and how do you spot if you are one? (Getty Images)

From binge drinking to episodic drinking, we frequently use labels to describe our drinking habits and grey-area drinking is one of the most recent.

Though it may appear to be a new term, in fact the concept of grey-area drinking has been around for some time. The charity Alcohol Change points out that in 2011 a study, published in the National Library of Medicine, described a certain level of drinking as the "grey area" of consumption.

But what exactly is grey-area drinking?

"If we go with the idea we live consciously and unconsciously (i.e. being present and making choices; or not really thinking through our options and on ‘auto pilot’) a grey drinker might be described as someone who is unconsciously engaging with alcohol," explains Debbie Longsdale, therapy director at Priory, specialising in addictions.

She says grey-area drinkers can often fall into the "unhelpful spiral" without realising, and perhaps haven’t really been honest with themselves about their emotional wellbeing. Or, haven’t taken the time, or realised that there are triggers or links to when they tend to slip into that binge drinking or excessive alcohol use.

"Shame is a very complex emotion, and very much links with how we feel about ourselves and our sense of 'worth'," Longsdale adds. "If something has happened that we felt guilty about, and we haven’t processed or learnt from the experience to hope it doesn’t happen again; it can evolve into 'shame' which is more destructive and can be activated when we are feeling vulnerable."

One way of dealing with that in an immediate sense, she says, is to turn to alcohol which seemingly offers 'respite'. "But as Millie Mackintosh shared, doesn’t actually address what is really happening.”

Man man pouring red wine. (Getty Images)
Grey-area drinkers often drink more than they intend to. (Getty Images)

If you regularly ask yourself if you're drinking too much or wonder whether it's becoming a problem, this uncertainty is a key sign of grey-area drinking. "You might not drink excessively all the time, but the internal questioning suggests that your relationship with alcohol could be causing underlying issues," explains Helen Wells, psychotherapist and clinical director at The Dawn Wellness Centre and Rehab.

If you find yourself turning to alcohol to manage feelings of stress, anxiety, or sadness, it’s a sign that drinking is being used as a coping mechanism rather than for enjoyment. "Relying on alcohol in this way can be a slippery slope that leads to unhealthy habits," Wells explains.

Feeling guilty after drinking and yet continuing to drink is a strong indicator that you're not in full control of your alcohol use. "This cycle can be emotionally damaging and may lead to deeper questions about why you keep drinking despite the negative feelings that follow," Wells says.

"You may drink more than intended on a weekend, then spend the next day feeling regretful, but end up drinking again the following weekend in a similar way," she adds.

A gradual increase in drinking frequency, perhaps having a drink every evening when you used to only drink on weekends, can suggest a shift in your drinking patterns. "Over time, this may indicate a developing reliance on alcohol," Wells explains.

Woman at the window with glass of wine. (Getty Images)
Frequently drinking on your own is another sign of grey-are drinking. (Getty Images)

If those close to you are pointing out your drinking habits, it’s worth taking their concerns seriously. "Sometimes, we are too close to a situation to see it clearly, and external feedback can help us assess whether our drinking is becoming a problem," Wells advises. "A friend might say, 'You seem to drink more than anyone else at social events. Is everything okay?'"

Drinking alone can be a red flag. "It often indicates that alcohol is being used not for social reasons but as a form of emotional self-regulation," Wells says. "This habit can foster feelings of isolation and shame, contributing to further unhealthy drinking patterns."

If alcohol consistently leads to feelings of anxiety or depression the following day, it could indicate that your body is reacting negatively to alcohol. "Alcohol may initially provide relief but can worsen mental health in the long term," Wells explains.

Wells suggests keeping track of when, why, and how often you drink. "Writing this down, whether through journaling, note-taking, or using an app, can help you understand if there are specific triggers or patterns that need attention," she adds.

Instead of turning to alcohol to manage stress, anxiety, or sadness, Wells suggests trying to adopt healthier alternatives. "Mindfulness, meditation, yoga, exercise, or talking to a friend are great options to try," she says.

Woman pouring some water. (Getty Images)
Experts suggest having alcohol-free months. (Getty Images)

Consider trying a month-long break from alcohol to assess how it impacts your physical and mental health. "This can also give you space to determine how you feel without the regular influence of alcohol," Wells says.

Setting limits can be a helpful strategy to regain control over your drinking. "You could limit yourself to a specific number of drinks per week, or avoid drinking on certain days altogether," Wells advises. "Having a clear rule in place can reduce the temptation to drink more than intended."

If you’re unsure whether your drinking is problematic, Wells advises speaking to a therapist or medical professional can offer clarity. "They can assess your situation and help you develop healthier coping strategies," she adds.

If you think you need help with your alcohol consumption, you can get in touch with the free national alcohol helpline Drinkline at 0300 123 1110, or contact Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

It's worth noting:

  • Your GP is your first port of call for alcohol problems.

  • Check your local authority website to see how you can access your local provider.

  • There are a number of NHS services directories you can use to find support and treatment services near you.

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