Mike Pence Should Go Away and Enjoy the Memory of Being One Clogged Artery Away From the Big Chair

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Photo credit: ATTILA KISBENEDEK - Getty Images
Photo credit: ATTILA KISBENEDEK - Getty Images

Hang around politics and you manage to see all manner of human sycophancy, stuff that makes Uriah Heep look like Jeremiah Johnson. Some of it is tactical. Some of it is cowardice. And some of it comes as naturally to certain people as breathing. This is all to remind you that Mike Pence was once one clogged coronary artery away from the White House, and, to attain that exalted position, he apparently made a deal by which he has to suck up to El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago until one or both of them is dead. From the Washington Post:

“I know the media wants to distract from the Biden administration’s failed agenda by focusing on one day in January,” Pence told Hannity. “They want to use that one day to try and demean the character and intentions of 74 million Americans who believed we could be strong again and prosperous again and supported our administration in 2016 and 2020.” …Pence has been mentioned as a possible presidential candidate in 2024.

Mike, there’s no chance. Take your bust in the Capitol. You get one, the same way Teddy Roosevelt, LBJ, Dick Cheney, and Charles Dawes do. Even Spiro Agnew has one, although you really have to look hard for it. That’s your thin slice of history. Well, that and the fact that a mob stormed the Capitol announcing its intention to hang you. That was sort of a first.

I will grant you that the former president* rescued you from the remainder bin. You were a massive failure as governor of Indiana, and you left with an approval rating below freezing Fahrenheit. You were as done as a steak at St. Elmo’s. Then along comes this freak tornado, and it whisks you off to grifter Oz for four years. Maybe you owe something to that memory and maybe you don’t, but if you’re still having second thoughts about what you did in the Senate chamber in January—or worse, feeling guilty about it—please seek help.

And, what the hell, you have no chance at any Republican nomination for anything, because that mob now runs the party, and you committed the unpardonable offense of doing your constitutional duty and certifying the actual winner of the election. You have to know this. Do not ask for whom the beast bays. It bays for thee.

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