Michelle Obama On Why She And Barack Have Had A Long And Happy Marriage
Michelle Obama has opened up about what contributes to a happy, healthy and long marriage, drawing on her own experiences from her 28 years married to Barack Obama.
On the latest episode of the former First Lady's new Spotify podcast, Obama was joined by late night TV host Conan O'Brien to discuss all things marriage.
The friends gave their thoughts on what they think makes for a long and happy marriage, describing it as both 'beautiful and challenging'. They also discussed the different expectations placed upon both men and women in society when it comes to marriage, with women often being groomed for it and men urged to 'live their life' first.
O'Brien, who has been married to his wife Liza for 20 years, said: 'I think, for men, and this is me, I can't speak for all men. But my sense is that we have to come to it a little later. It, you know, I've always thought, my wife, Liza, is the perfect person for me, but I also had to meet her at the perfect time. I was ready for the moment.'
Obama agreed, saying the same was true for her when she married Barack - who she met at a law firm - when she was 28-years-old.
'The same is true for me,' the mother of two said. 'I think, a man's inclination to wait and to kind of go out there and search and get himself ready, I think is a good instinct that more young women should think about. Because, you have to know who you are, to know who you're looking for.'
A post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama) on May 23, 2018 at 4:03am PDT
Obama then described what you should look for in a spouse, likening choosing a life partner to finding the key player in a basketball team.
'I always thought if we approached a marriage and family like we approached, particularly, men, like you would, picking your basketball team, we'd have better marriages, because if you're looking at a team, the people you want to win with, then number one you want everybody on your team to be strong, right.
'You don't want any weak links, you don't want somebody that you can dominate, you don't want somebody who's kind of a loser. And also, if you're on a team, you've got to be able to do everything, especially in basketball, it's like, you would never pick somebody that says, "I only dribble, I don't shoot, I don't defend." You know, if we looked at marriage as a real team, you want your teammate to be a winner, then you want LeBron, you know? You don't want the guy, third row on the bench, who didn't make the team, but we often don't think about that.'
Obama also discussed the conversations she and Barack had about the importance of marriage when they first started dating, debating whether it was necessary for their own relationship but ultimately deciding to tie the knot at a Chicago church in October 1992 three years after meeting.
Obama said it was Barack's decision not to play any games during their relationship and be upfront that also led to her deciding to marry him.
'He was very clear, just like, "I want to date you". At least in my experience up until then, men would be coy, they would sort of look around the room, it was all so, complicated, and it felt, a little immature. What struck me about Barack was his, lack of pretence, He was somebody who knew what he wanted, and wasn't afraid to say it. And, I thought, well, if he's that in tune with his emotions that he can say out loud... he didn't know whether I liked him back. He was like, look, "let me tell you, this is what I think about you, I think you're special, I think you're different, and I would like to take you out." And that was rare. And it was attractive.'
And, now we're crying.
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