Man slammed for asking ex-wife to make gender reveal cake for the woman he cheated on her with

·4-min read
 (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A man is being accused of being an “a**hole” for asking his ex-wife to bake a gender reveal cake for the woman that he cheated on her with.

In a post shared on January 23 in the Reddit Thread “Am I The A**hole, @u/throwaway19203039 said that she and her ex-husband shared twins together, but that their marriage came to an end before the kids were born.

"We divorced during my pregnancy after I discovered he cheated on me,” she wrote.

After the breakup, the ex-husband continued to be a “good father” and moved in with the woman he had an affair with. Currently, this woman is pregnant.

“She didn’t know he had a wife at the time, and I firmly believe that,” the Reddit user wrote.

As noted in her post, @u/throwaway19203039 claimed that she runs a “successful baking company” in their small town and does custom desserts.

The girlfriend had contacted the Reddit user to make a gender reveal cake and expressed how special it would be if “the mother of her baby’s siblings made the cake for the party”.

After getting this request, the baker was hesitant as to whether she wanted to make this cake, given how her ex-husband treated her during her pregnancy.

“I told her I had to think about it but eventually told her no,” she explained. “I am admittedly incredibly bitter at my ex for cheating on me while I was bedridden and medically fragile being pregnant with his children, and I don’t want to be involved in the celebration of their new child.”

“I did specify that it wasn’t her, but I couldn’t do it and she said alright and hung up,” she added.

The baker then received a call from her ex-husband, who told her she was being “rude and unreasonable and completely unprofessional” for putting their relationship before business. In response, she said that she was “allowed to refuse service to anyone and hung up on him.”

“I feel like I have let my feelings get in the way of my business and if I made the cake it’s not like I have to be there to celebrate,” she explained in the post.

“On the other hand, I do feel like I’m allowed to refuse business however I see fit,” she added.

At the end of the post, the Reddit user clarified that while she’s “still bitter” about her husband cheating on her, she’s not a “sad single mom,” as she got remarried this past November. She also said that she has “a great support system” and that she shares joint custody of her kids with her husband.

This Reddit post has received over 15,800 upvotes, so far, with users in the comments noting that @u/throwaway19203039 was not the a**hole and had every right to refuse to make this cake. In fact, many comments claimed that her ex-husband was the one who was in the wrong.

“First, congratulations on your babies!” one wrote. “Second, I agree with your stance on refusing service to them. How narcissistic of your ex! This is epic “adding insult to injury.””

“That is totally narcissistic behavior,” one user said about the ex-husband. “You definitely have the right to refuse. It’s nice of you to be so cordial with them at all.”

“But asking to bake a cake for a woman he cheated on you with? Not cool on his part. And to be clear, you are NTA. But your ex husband sure is,” the user added.

Other people expressed in the comments that would have had a very different reaction if they were in @u/throwaway19203039’s shoes.

“See, me, being the bitter person I would be in this situation, would offer to make it, but instead of blue or pink, the inside would be black…or full of shrimp or something gross,” one comment reads. “This is why I wouldn’t be good as a baker, or an ex.”

Another user emphasised that the ex-husband behaved quite poorly when the baker denied this request and said: “It’s hard for me to imagine what kind of mental gymnastics your ex had to perform to be able to berate you because you refused to help celebrating the child he produced with the women he cheated on you with.”

“He should be incredibly thankful and humble about the fact that you tolerate him at all around your kids after this stunt,” the comment continues. “The ignorance and entitlement of this baffles me. Please stand your ground and keep his toxic behaviour out of your life as much as possible.”

Speaking to The Independent, @u/throwaway19203039 said that her relationship between her and her ex-husband changed because of this incident.

“I told him to not communicate with me besides to discuss a need of my children,” she said.

However, she also noted that this experience “taught [her] not to take s*** as a business owner.”

Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions. In order to improve our community experience, we are temporarily suspending article commenting