Malala: what will married life look like?

“Today marks a precious day in my life. Asser and I tied the knot to be partners for life. We are excited to walk together for the journey ahead.” With these words, Malala Yousafzai, the 24-year-old women’s rights campaigner and Nobel Peace Prize winner, stunned the world this week as she announced her marriage to Asser Malik, a Pakistani cricket executive.

The news that the couple celebrated their nikkah – an Islamic marriage ceremony – at home in Birmingham on Tuesday was celebrated by hundreds of thousands, none of whom knew that the activist was in a relationship, let alone close to marriage. Even Yousafzai’s parents have said that while they knew about their daughter’s relationship for the past year, talk of marriage only came about recently.

“It has come as a wonderful surprise,” says 26-year-old Khadija Siddiqi, a barrister and activist, and friend of the couple. Like Yousafzai, she survived a brutal attack in Pakistan – in 2016, she was stabbed 23 times in broad daylight as she collected her six-year-old sister from school – and now lives in the UK.

She first met her in 2019, at a cricket match in Birmingham, where Pakistan played in the World Cup. “It was a social occasion that a mutual friend of ours had invited us to, and Asser was also there. He’s so fun-loving and kind-hearted, and he and Malala were laughing together the whole day. I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling that’s when they met for the first time. It was a really special day.”

Malik, who is believed to be in his early 30s, thus far has a low public profile. He attended Lahore’s distinguished Aitchison College – nicknamed “Pakistan’s Eton” and boasting alumni including Imran Khan – before studying economics and political science at Lahore University of Management Sciences, one of the country’s most prestigious institutions. He went on to work for Coca-Cola before becoming involved in cricket entrepreneurship.

“He’s cricket mad, but so is Malala,” says Siddiqi. “She has such a passion for it, and that day we all played cricket together in the enclosure at the stadium.”

The newlyweds are so into the sport that they are putting their honeymoon on hold to stay in London to watch Pakistan play Australia in the semi-final of the T20 World Cup.

Malik is a big supporter of women’s cricket (a sport Yousafzai played herself while at Oxford University), and he runs a grassroots franchise called Last Man Stands in Pakistan that aims to make organised cricket accessible to all.

“He’ll be a really supportive partner for her,” says Siddiqui. “They both care about activism, and I think when they work together in their respective fields, it will be brilliant.”

Some have expressed shock that Yousafzai, who has been working with the UN since her teens, has chosen to marry so young, sharing an interview she gave to Vogue magazine in July, voicing her misgivings around marriage: “I still don’t understand why people have to get married. If you want to have a person in your life, why do you have to sign marriage papers; why can’t it just be a partnership?”

Some critics are asking if the marriage was arranged. But Siddiqi says this isn’t true: “Malala is very wise and true to her words and her cause. She wouldn’t do something she didn’t want to do. She’s right about being in a partnership, and Asser offers that to her. She’s obviously going to continue doing more wonders for the world – she’s so cause-orientated and will keep her focus no matter what people on social media are saying – and Asser will be by her side.”

Her father Ziauddin Yousafzai has always been an advocate for women’s rights, and has previously spoken about marriage being entirely his daughter’s choice in every way. His own marriage to Yousafzai’s mother, Toor Pekai, was a love match.

Christina Lamb, who co-wrote Yousafzai’s autobiography, I Am Malala, and spent months with Yousafzai and her family at home, points out: “Malala’s grown up seeing parents that truly love each other but also have a very affectionate, joking relationship – which is something that has kept Malala so down to earth. They laugh a lot and don’t take themselves too seriously.

“She’s grown up seeing what a happy marriage can do. If it’s the right person, it can be very helpful for her to have a partner in her life. And the good thing about her marriage is she’s found someone who appreciates her for who she is and won’t clip her wings at all – not that it would be very easy to do that.”

Nimco Ali, a fellow activist, who advises the Government on tackling violence against women and girls, thinks Yousafzai’s decision to marry right now could be deliberate. “I think she’s setting herself up to get into Pakistani politics. I’m sure she’s happy and in love, so I wish her all the luck, but at the same time, this could be helpful if she goes for a career in Pakistani politics, where you can’t always be a single woman and educated and powerful.”

Malik is currently based in Lahore for his work, and there is talk of whether Yousafzai would move to continue her career there. But while she is one of the most celebrated women around the world, she’s still a divisive figure in her homeland.

For some, she is a standard bearer for the potential of a progressive Pakistan, while among others she is loathed for having become a tool of Westerners who want to portray the country and Islam as backward and violent.
Her comments on marriage caused paroxysms from religious hardliners and even photos of her wearing jeans have been criticised.

Yousafzai continues to speak longingly of her homeland and has admitted that she debates returning to Pakistan. Yet so far, she has only been able to return for a brief three-day visit in 2018. For that trip, she was accompanied by a military escort, and the scale of the security arrangement highlighted the potential difficulties of her moving there to start her married life.

For that trip, Yousafzai was accompanied by a military escort and the scale of the security arrangement highlighted the potential difficulties of her moving there to start her married life. Siddiqi, who herself has a security guard provided by the Pakistani government, as her attacker was released from jail after serving only two years, believes it is possible. “The Pakistani government would make sure Malala has the requisite safety at all times and wouldn’t have to fear anything if she came back.”

It remains to be seen where Yousafzai decides to settle into married life – whether it’s in her homeland of Pakistan, her ‘second home’ of Birmingham as she’s referred to it ever since her family moved there almost a decade ago, or if she moves to the US for a fresh start, where she already has a multi-year programming deal with Apple TV+.

“I’m very excited to see what she does next,” says Lamb. “She’s still campaigning for girls and women’s education with the Malala Fund, and it’s more important than ever in the wake of the pandemic and in light of what’s happening in Afghanistan. She has talked in the past of going into politics, so it wouldn’t surprise me if one day she did that. I think she’d be a great addition to the political scene.

“But having seen her go from a girl to a grown up young woman, she’s still the same Malala she always was. She was always mature beyond her years, and the amazing thing about her is that all the way through, with all the extraordinary things she’s gone through, she’s still stayed really down to earth. She hasn’t changed, and I don’t think she ever will.”

Additional reporting by Ben Farmer