5 best sex toy advent calendars to guarantee a saucy Christmas in 2023
All we want for Christmas is... a sleigh-load of sex toys. That's right ladies, the annual sex toy advent calendar round-up is back, guaranteeing you an X-rated countdown to the big day.
But working out which festive feast to treat yourself (or your partner) to is snow easy feat.
Luckily, we’ve scoured the virtual shelves to find you the very best sex toy advent calendars — and let’s just say, we clearly made it onto Santa’s nice list.
Yep, your favourite brands like Lovehoney and Sinful have stuffed our sacks full of pint-sized vibrators, bondage for beginners and enough lube to see you through to next December.
So, forget the carol singing, ice skating and eggnog, because you won’t need to leave the house to find comfort and (major) joy this winter.
Sex toy advent calendar best-sellers in 2023
Ready for a not-so-silent night? Here are some of our favourite sex toy calendars for 2023 — keep scrolling for the full list.
When does Advent start in 2023?
Mark your calendars, because this year advent starts on Sunday 3 December and runs to Saturday 30 December 2023.
Although most advent calendars run from December 1st to December 12th or 24th, otherwise known as Christmas Eve.
And we’re assuming this is your next question: what exactly is Advent?
Essentially, it’s the four weeks leading up to Christmas and, ultimately, the birth of Jesus Christ.
And did you know the word ‘advent’ is actually Latin, meaning ‘arrival’?
When do Advent calendars go on sale?
Now you might think it’s a little early to be starting your Christmas shopping.
But brands like Lovehoney and Sinful have already filled their virtual shelves with some sex-cellent offerings — and we don’t recommend waiting to snap them up. Every year these sell out, and rightly so — who doesn’t want an orgasm every morning in the run up to the big day?
5 best sex toy advent calendars to shop now
Sorry Frosty, things are about to get hot and steamy because here are five of the best sex toy advent calendars on the market right now. Move it!
Lovehoney Rose Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Joy to the world, this 12-day offering includes the viral Rose sex toy (worth a whopping £54.99) that TikTok went absolutely crackers for.
But the merriment doesn’t end there, as behind the other 11 doors, there’s also a powerful bullet vibrator, four interchangeable covers (two for your G-, one for your P- and another for your C-spot), plus Kegel beads, sex dice and a bejewelled butt plug. Oh Santa, baby!
Valued at more than £200, this is a great way to stock up on the sex-sentials. Just don’t blame us if you’re late for Christmas dinner...
Lovehoney X Womanizer Sex Toy Advent Calendar
O cum, all ye faithful, because Lovehoney really has outdone itself this year. This 24-day offering is packed full of sex toys, games and BDSM essentials like wrist, ankle and under-mattress restraints, making it the perfect plus-one for your naked Christmas party.
But the star at the top of this tree of treats is the Womanizer Classic 2 Clitoral Stimulator, priced at a hefty £120. Although we’d argue it’s worth every penny, as the 100% waterproof toy offers 10 intensity levels and a unique ‘afterglow’ setting for a relaxing end to your O.
But don’t worry, your partner with a penis won't be left out in the cold. There are two cock rings that almost guarantee a stronger erection and a Double Texture Blow Job Stroker – ideal if you fancy watching on as they fly solo (no judgement here).
Sinful Premium Advent Calendar
Ho, ho, no chance we could skip over Sinful’s stellar stockings. There’s a reason these make a return every year – and it’s not because we ask Santa nicely.
This 24-day sex toy selection comes with 14 toys, our favourites being the Warm Rabbit Rechargeable Vibrator and the Remote-controlled Gold Power Bullet. That’s an evening of temperature and power play sorted.
Then there’s the selection of soft BDSM accessories that make this set ideal for bondage beginners. We’re talking braided faux leather hand and ankle cuffs, blindfold, hogtie and paddle.
Worth £520, this really is the steal of the season. Go!
Sinful Original Advent Calendar
Forget Santa, Sinful wanted to make sure it was you cumming to town as the brand’s original advent calendar offers 13 sex toys, five erotic accessories and six soft bondage playthings.
But the real perk with this one? The various ways you can tickle and tease your G-spot into unadulterated pleasure. Yep, there’s a Mini G-spot Vibrator (worth £7.99), Rumble Vibrating Egg (£10.99) and dual-vibrator powered by the Seven-Speed Silver Bullet (£7.99) hidden behind those naughty-but-nice doors.
Included with every calendar is also a handy inspiration booklet, explaining how to use your new bedside buddies. Yeah, we’d avoid making any important plans in January.
Sinful 12 Days of Christmas Adventures for Men
There’s no chance of a blue (ball) Christmas, thanks to Sinful’s 12 day offering for the man in your life. Again, there are toys and sexy treats in abundance, including a double cock ring, vibrating male masturbator and remote-controlled bullet vibe.
But what we really love about this calendar from the Scandinavian sex-perts is the discreet, yet still very festive, packaging. Yep, you won’t find the terms ‘sex’, ‘toy’ and ‘self-pleasure’ on the front of these cardboard doors, meaning no awkward questions when your grandparents pop round.
At just £69 (hold the giggles), this one’s great for those trying to stick to a budget. We couldn’t elf ourselves and have already ordered one...
Our top picks of last year’s sex toy advent calendars
Despite many attempts to butter up Santa's elves, we don't yet know what other sex toy stockings will be on offer this winter.
But to edge you close to excitement, here's some of our favourites from last year.
Bondara 12 Days for Her Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Sadly, Bondara has confirmed this saucy Christmas countdown won’t be making a return (sobs). But, if this year’s offering is anything like it, we’ll be smiling our way through to the new year.
This bumper calendar was packed with pure pleasure in mind and supplied you with everything you needed to get in a holly, jolly mood. That included nipple suckers, a clit stim, multi-speed vibrator (hit all those erogenous zones), a ribbed dildo AND a diamond-studded butt plug.
And, to make sure you had everything you could possibly need for your next night-in, it also included three types of lube (front, back and flavoured), massage oil and that all-important toy cleaner. Major brownie points.
Bondara 24 Days of Play Couple's Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Again, this one won’t be making its way back onto Bondara’s virtual shelves, but the British brand really did have it nailed for bondage fans.
We were prepared to tease our way through December with this bumper selection of 24 treats and toys, including a strap-on, full-sized magic wand, G-spot vibrator, bejewelled butt plug, feather tickler, satin blindfold and bondage tape.
Carefully designed in a mix of festive red and luxe-looking matte black silicone, this was also a major treat for the eyes – and ideal for any pairs looking to set up their very own Red Room.
Lovehoney 7 Nights of Temptation Lingerie Advent Calendar
We can't decide if Lovehoney's inaugural lingerie calendar is really for you, your lover, or your Instagram followers, but who cares!
With a whole week's worth of saucy doors to open that are all stuffed with sartorial surprises, you can celebrate together.
The lingerie edit includes seven saucy (and camera-worthy) underwear pieces, plus accessories to take your festive seduction up a notch.
We loved the sheer mesh tie-front bra, a matching eye mask and the erotically scented candle to help set the mood. Merry Christmas, one and all...
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