Love Island star has 'never had an orgasm': Why do some women struggle to climax?

A former Love Island contestant claims she has never had an orgasm.

Yewande Biala, who appeared on last year’s series of the hit ITV2 show, made the confession to her fellow islanders Amber Gill and Anna Vakili on Yahoo UK’s podcast Reality Check.

READ MORE: Women climax a third less than their male partners, but why?

“Deadly serious”, Yewande, 23, claimed she has never climaxed either during sex or “by herself” - and she refuses to fake it.

Praising her honesty, Anna said: “Do you know how many girls are going to relate to you and be like ‘OMG I’m not on my own, this girl’s on Love Island and she hasn’t had it’.”

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 12: Yewande Biala attends the ITV Palooza 2019 at the Royal Festival Hall on November 12, 2019 in London, England. (Photo by Jeff Spicer/Getty Images)
Yewande has never climaxed during sex - either with a partner or alone. [Photo: Getty]

Yewande, a biochemist, is not alone.

A survey of 1,250 women by the UK sexual-health charity FPA found more than four in five (80%) could not orgasm through intercourse alone, with most requiring stimulation of the clitoris to “achieve”.

Almost 3% of those asked had never orgasmed.

The brains behind the survey worry pornography and romantic films depict orgasms as easy to achieve.

This leaves many women worrying there is “something wrong with them” if they do not climax, while men may mistakenly believe all they have to do is “thrust” to satisfy their other half.

Love Island's Yewande Biala - pictured with contestants Anna Vakili and Amber Gill on Yahoo UK's Reality Check - has "never orgasmed". [Photo: Getty]
Love Island's Yewande Biala - pictured with contestants Anna Vakili and Amber Gill on Yahoo UK's Reality Check - has "never orgasmed". [Photo: Getty]

Why do some women struggle to orgasm?

A range of physical and psychological issues can hold a woman back from climaxing.

Some are simply not stimulated enough, while others worry about whether they are good in bed, according to the NHS.

Mood disorders - like depression - or conditions that cause pain - such as arthritis - can stop women “achieving”.

Antidepressants like the go-to selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors can also leave some unsatisfied in the bedroom.

Other drugs that can cause issues include blood-pressure medication, antipsychotic treatments and antihistamines.

READ MORE: There Are Actually 4 Kinds of Orgasms - Which Have You Experienced?

A traumatic sexual history or problems in the existing relationship can also be to blame, as can the menopause and disorders like heart disease or multiple sclerosis.

The menopause brings about hormonal changes, namely a lack of oestrogen. While women contend with night sweats and hot flushes, they may not be “in the mood”.

Vaginal dryness that comes about during “the change” can also make sex uncomfortable.

Some women manage to orgasm when masturbating, but not when getting intimate with someone else. This could come down to a lack of stimulation or an issue in the relationship, including a lack of connection, breach of trust or violence.

An inability to orgasm despite “ample sexual stimulation” is known as anorgasmia, according to Mayo Clinic.

This can be “lifelong”, “acquired”, “situational” - e.g. can orgasm alone but not with a partner, or “generalised” - cannot orgasm in any situation or with any partner.

How to enjoy sex

Some women manage to enjoy the intimacy of sex even if they do not climax, according to the NHS.

To “spice things up”, the health service recommends kissing, massaging each other or taking a mutual bath.

Take the time to tell your partner what you enjoy in the bedroom and consider mutual masturbation or oral sex, it adds.

To stimulate all the senses, “feed each other something delicious and juicy, such as strawberries”, the NHS recommends.

You could also try “whispering sweet nothings or sexy intentions” for an “extra thrill”.

READ MORE: Having less sex linked to early menopause

Foreplay can start early in the day with a sexy text, leaving you eagerly awaiting the main event later on.

Sex toys, erotic books and sharing fantasies - “from pirates to picnics” - could also help turn you on.

Regardless of the hot love scenes you see in films, try and let go of making sex exciting or über erotic.

“Relax with your partner and great sex may find you,” the NHS reports.

For those who are still struggling, your GP can help uncover if a physical problem may be to blame.

If psychological, you may be referred to a sex therapist or specialist doctor.

Menopausal women may benefit from oestrogen therapy, whether a pill, patch or cream.

Hear Yewande Biala, Anna Vakili and Love Island winner Amber Gill chat about orgasms, losing your virginity and much more on this week’s episode of Reality Check. Listen now on iTunes and Spotify or watch on Yahoo UK’s YouTube channel.

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