How Long Until Trump's Lawyers Say Ballots Have Been Discovered on Hunter Biden's Laptop?

Charles P. Pierce
·5-min read
Photo credit: SAUL LOEB - Getty Images
Photo credit: SAUL LOEB - Getty Images

From Esquire

Gentlemen, start your billable hours... From CBS in Pittsburgh:

Justin Clark, Trump’s deputy campaign manager, said in a statement that the campaign is “suing to stop Democrat election officials from hiding the ballot counting and processing from our Republican poll observers.” He said the campaign wants “to temporarily halt counting until there is meaningful transparency and Republicans can ensure all counting is done above board and by the law.”

Give Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf credit. He knows a good joke when it lands in his lap. In reply, he pointed out that this hidden ballot counting was being live-streamed to the world. "You can watch us count every vote and have a fair election," Wolf told the electric Twitter machine. And you can, too.

The Pennsylvania lawsuit is only one salvo in a general barrage from Camp Runamuck that can be expected to intensify over the next month or so. The president*'s lawyers have announced that they will ask for a recount in Wisconsin, and that they have filed lawsuits similar to the ones in Pennsylvania to stop the counting of legal votes in Michigan and Georgia. From CNBC:

The suits were announced as Trump suggested, without any evidence, that Michigan had “found” ballots to deny a victory to John James, the Republican nominee for the Senate race in Michigan. “As votes in Michigan continue to be counted, the presidential race in the state remains extremely tight as we always knew it would be,” said Bill Stepien, Trump 2020 campaign manager. “President Trump’s campaign has not been provided with meaningful access to numerous counting locations to observe the opening of ballots and the counting process, as guaranteed by Michigan law,” Stepien said.

Let us stipulate that Bill Stepien's expertise in Michigan election law is developing largely on the fly. The basis for these lawsuits seems to be the paranoid ramblings of the president*'s mind. (It's only a matter of time before his lawyers argue that thousands of votes have been discovered on Hunter Biden's laptop.) Nevertheless, this hail of writs would have been expected from anyone on the losing end of a cliffhanger of an election. But, in this case, we are talking about an incumbent president*, losing at the polls, whose business strategies always have included stiffing his creditors in one way or another, and whose bag of shenanigans always has included dragging those creditors through the legal process until they either go broke or give up from sheer exhaustion. So, yes, there is going to be a prolonged, multi-pronged litigation on several fronts to liven up the holiday season.

Photo credit: Elaine Cromie - Getty Images
Photo credit: Elaine Cromie - Getty Images

One wonders what the various judges who will be asked to rule on these delusions are thinking right now—besides, obviously, let this cup pass from me. I can't imagine that the authoritarian shit-fit that the president* threw in the East Room in the early hours of Wednesday morning won't have some kind of effect on those judges. He certainly did himself no favours. I will include in this speculation the Nine Wise Souls in Washington, who, whatever you may think of some of them, are also concerned about their reputations going forward, and who are beyond any kind of vengeance available to the president* and his Twitter account. (You will notice that the president* has been raving constantly about their decision to allow Pennsylvania some extra time to count ballots, and that the members of the Court have ignored him utterly.) It is possible, of course, that the president*'s three justices will team up with Justice Clarence Thomas for some sort of legal atrocity or another, but a fifth vote to support keeping a visibly unhinged president* in office would be the mark of Cain for, say, John Roberts or Samuel Alito.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden is proceeding as though he not only already has been elected, but also as though he's already been inaugurated. He came out Wednesday afternoon and gave a relaxed and confident assessment of the state of play.

My fellow Americans, yesterday, once again proved that democracy is the heartbeat of this nation, and it has been the heartbeat of this nation for two centuries. And even in the face of pandemic, more Americans voted this election than ever before in American history. Over 150 million people cast their votes. I think that’s just extraordinary. And if we had any doubts, we shouldn’t have any longer, about a government of, by, and for the people. It’s very much alive, very much alive in America. Here, the people rule. Power can’t be taken or asserted. It flows from the people. And is their will that determines who will be the President of the United States and their will alone.

And now after a long night of counting, it’s clear that we’re winning enough states to reach 270 electoral votes needed to win the presidency. I’m not here to declare that we’ve won, but I am here to report when the count is finished, we believe we will be the winners. Of all the votes counted, we have won Wisconsin by 20,000 votes, virtually the same margin that President Trump won that state four years ago. In Michigan, we lead by over 35,000 votes and it’s growing, a substantially bigger margin than President Trump won Michigan in 2016.

The great machinery of the government, rusty and creaking and horribly abused over the past four years by a president* who never treated it with any respect or love, is now fully engaged against that president* and increasingly in the hands of a man who has had a career operating the grand old machine, and who sleeps now knowing that more of his fellow citizens wanted him to be president than ever wanted anyone else to be president before.

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