How Long Until We Hear Rudy Was Just a Coffee Boy?

·3-min read
Photo credit: Spencer Platt - Getty Images
Photo credit: Spencer Platt - Getty Images

There was a great tragedy in the world of American drama on Thursday morning. The nation will not be entertained by the potential spectacle of watching Rudolph Giuliani defend himself in court. Rudy needs a lawyer, because he won’t be one himself for a while. From the New York Times:

The court wrote in a 33-page decision that Mr. Giuliani’s conduct threatened “the public interest and warrants interim suspension from the practice of law.”

Mr. Giuliani helped lead Mr. Trump’s legal challenge to the election results, arguing without merit that the vote had been rife with fraud and that voting machines had been rigged.

“We conclude that there is uncontroverted evidence that respondent communicated demonstrably false and misleading statements to courts, lawmakers and the public at large in his capacity as lawyer for former President Donald J. Trump and the Trump campaign in connection with Trump’s failed effort at reelection in 2020,” the decision read.

I’m hanging on until word leaks from Mar-a-Lago—via “well-placed sources familiar with the former president*’s thinking”—that Giuliani was nothing more than the guy who made the coffee and kept the Diet Coke on ice. El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago is going to cut and run like Sha’Carri Richardson, and Rudy won’t even see him as anything more than a dust cloud headed over the far horizon.

In other cheery January 6-related news, Speaker Nancy Pelosi has apparently decided that there will be no more slippin’ and doggin’ around as to the why’s and wherefore’s around that day’s events. From NPR:

"This morning, with great solemnity and sadness, I am announcing that the House will be establishing a select committee on the January Sixth insurrection," Pelosi said. "January Six was one of the darkest days in our nation's history... it is imperative that we establish the truth of that day and ensure that an attack of that kind cannot happen and that we root out the causes of it all.”…It will also face challenges seen by other previous select committees, such one formed by Republicans in 2012 to look into the 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi. It marks a much more partisan route, and it's unclear what role Republicans will play but it's likely they will look to be spoilers for the panel.

Good guess.

The speaker did not name the chair of the panel or the Democratic lawmakers she plans to tap for the select committee. Asked about Republican participation in the panel Pelosi said about House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, "I hope that Kevin will appoint responsible people to the committee.”

Even if McCarthy wanted to do that, which he probably doesn’t, unless he’s prepared to bring Schuyler Colfax or Howard Baker back from the dead, his caucus doesn’t have enough “responsible people” to staff a toll plaza, let alone a select committee. (In fact, the odds are better than I’m comfortable with that one or two of the people McCarthy picks for the select committee will end up being called as a witness.) I predict two things here: 1) that the Republicans on the congressional committees that already are investigating these events now will go hog wild, and 2) Jim Jordan will be discovered trying to tunnel into McCarthy’s office with a flashlight and zip ties. I feel safe in predicting these things.

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