This Lockdown, Dress Like a Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad. Dress Like Justin Theroux

Murray Clark
·3-min read
Photo credit: Robert Kamau
Photo credit: Robert Kamau

From Esquire

This lockdown isn't any easier than the last. Or the one before. So let's get that straight, first off. Third time is not a charm. It has no shamrocks, no horseshoes, no winning scratch cards. But we have done it before. We sort of knew what to expect when it was announced, and thus, we were better-prepared (and not really all that surprised given the roll call of mortifying statistics after each 'good evening' from an ever-graver Huw Edwards). That means you get up, you get dressed – actually dressed – and stick to a routine.

Justin Theroux knows it. Each day, the 49-year-old masks up, trots outside for essential exercise and takes his good, good, good boy Kuma along for the walk. Then, there's finger painting at 1pm, the three times tables at 4pm, a quick snack (organic fruit ONLY), four hours of Adventure Time and actual bedtime at 7pm, at which point Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad will retire to the lounge with a bottle of pet nat, Burial on 12" and some pre-loaded, mildly flirtatious messages to copy and paste to nine very promising Hinge matches ('sry for the radio silence, mad day with the kids... sure somebody else has beat me to the chase so will leave u in peace').

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

None of that beyond the dog walk happened, by the way. But by sheer token of dressing like Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad, Theroux easily passes for Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad. You wouldn't be all that surprised if that was his daily schedule. And it's a solid look, as proven by taps from Caitlyn, 26, marketing exec and Gabby, 30, oncologist. Because, truly, Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad is the easiest thing to throw together in a lockdown while still maintaining a sense of dignity. He hasn't got time to plan out looks, because he's co-parenting between Prospect Park and Harlem, and that's a really long way says Google. But, luckily, he has amassed quite the wardrobe over the years and y'know, you have to lead by example over Zoom when you're the creative director of an ethical, pro-union houseplant delivery service app.

That means balancing comfort with classics, adding in a tiny bit of workwear and maybe something a bit weird, like Theroux's massive empty wicker basket, or the dog lead-as-belt. Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad puts all these things together, and it is the natural maturation of Cozy Boy garms. Slouchy overcoats are fine. Beanies are welcomed. But instead of pure *insert slightly gross purple devil emoji* sweatpants, Theroux opts for solid, safe jeans. Rather than sink into pure sportswear, hoodies have been switched for roll-necks, or a jacket upon a jacket upon a sweatshirt. Boots trump sneakers. Grown-up stuff. But not boring. But not that difficult either.

Which is the perfect recipe during These Unprecedented Times. The most bog standard of everyday rituals feel as if they require huge amounts of effort. You're well within your rights to feel a bit exhausted by it all. But Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad is unphased by all this lockdown business. Bro, you haven't tried to find parking outside Arlo and Ottilie's school on a Monday morning! Relax, find your overcoat (preferably in a darker shade of Gerhard Richter) and layer with some durable knitwear. You won't even have to factor in time for virtual learning. Because as for the best part of dressing all Cool, Single Brooklyn Art Dad? You don't even need kids.

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