This is what I learnt on a sexual health retreat
When you tell friends you’re going on a sexual health retreat (in the Caribbean) of course you're going to get a couple of raised eyebrows. The open ones went on to detail problems with their sex lives – while the more curious planned a debrief for when I got back.
Yes, St Lucia seems like a long way to travel just to learn more about overhauling your sexual health, but what better way to melt away your worries (or lack of libido) than when you can see blue skies, hear nothing but calm seas and sip on a daiquiri afterwards?
After a long flight and an hour's drive, we finally arrived in paradise, StolenTime by Rendezvous resort on the west coast of St Lucia. Imagine palm trees and sundowners - and yes of course vibrators. So, why a sexual health retreat? From faking orgasms, body confidence, and even how the pandemic shaped what we do and don't do in the bedroom, it’s time to uncover why we are not having as much sex.
During the trip, Clio, who is also the author of Get Your Mojo Back, revealed why most of us put sex, or masturbation, on the back burner, prioritising work, social lives and even binge-watching that new Netflix film before the big O.
Tell me more...
Yes, I thought I may have you intrigued. Sexual wellness expert Clio Wood took us through five days of insightful workshops about what it is to be a woman in today’s world, from the male gaze to how the mental load affects our sex lives – whether we are in a relationship or not.
Mental load is a big one; because who feels like having sex when they're worrying about why the house is a mess or when the kids are going to get up? Of course, family dynamics have changed considerably over the last few years, but as Clio explains women mentally always have more on their plate. It helped me reshape the narrative about my lack of libido in past relationships, especially when I'd lived with boyfriends.
I was also intrigued to hear stories about body confidence from Clio and my fellow retreaters. Even if you're hesitant to admit it body confidence affects us all, especially in the bedroom. I've had issues with body confidence in relationships or when I've been dating someone so Clio's advice around learning to love your body resonated with me.
The biggest takeaway for me was that everyone's sexual health journey is different - we're all affected by our past experiences and what we may be going through in the present. Talking about your sex life, or lack of it, can be squeamish at the best of times but the more we open up and communicate with new or long-term partners the more we can learn about each other and ultimately change how we feel about sex. I definitely don't practice what I preach, but it's something I know I need to work on in future relationships.
And when I'm not learning about libido?
It's pretty blissful: waves lapping at the golden sand, a 150-year-old Samaan tree draped in sparkling lights at the centre of the resort, even a nightly Champagne hour at their delightful piano bar.
During the day you’ll find a lazy river snaking around the back of the resort, and daily tennis lessons. Watersports, such as paddleboarding, are also available and there's a choice of two pools, one with a swim-up bar. The hotel is also located on Vigie Beach, a favourite among locals.
If holidays, for you, are all about getting in as much movement as possible, then you’ve come to the right place, because as well as our sexual health talks, the hotel had a daily schedule of classes including Tai Chi, yoga and HIIT classes on the beach. StolenTime is also the sister hotel to the Body Holiday, located just down the road, which means you can visit for the day, just jump on one of the resort's shuttles to get there.
The hotel's spa is also a highlight, based in the water garden and on two levels, it’s small but the treatments are dreamy – my massage helped ease away the stress of the long flight and relaxed me into the holiday.
So, do all the rooms come with sunset views?
We stayed in one of the hotel's classic rooms, with balconies, overlooking the resort. With a blue and green Caribbean theme, they had all the amenities you could ask for, comfy double beds, fluffy towels and views of the tropical gardens. Next time I’d opt for one of their more luxe rooms however, their oceanfront terraces had an almost treehouse-style and overlooked the beach (perfect for sunset), while they also have king-sized four-poster beds and marble bathrooms, complete with a walk-in shower. Stolen Time also has beachfront chalets, suites and rooms near the pool.
Sundowners every day
Enjoying a glass of Rosé wine as you watch the sparkling sea lap at the shore is what holidays are all about – so that’s why the hotel's Malabar Beach Club was my favourite. We enjoyed fresh fish, Caribbean dishes and of course, lots of rose wine here most lunchtimes – a real highlight of our trip. Dinner, a buffet breakfast and afternoon tea are served in their Terrace restaurant, where for dinner they have a rotating menu, with influences from all over the world. Thyme restaurant is one for special occasions, with a dimly lit atmosphere and a live guitar in the background it’s perfect if you're on your honeymoon.
Travel in luxury
If you're worried about the long travel time stuck in the economy, but can’t quite afford an upgrade to business class, then it could be worth investing in BA's premium economy – with more room, a selection of premium meals and accommodating staff, you’ll arrive feeling refreshed (and a little like a VIP). British Airways also has its New Year sale on right now, so you may even be able to bag yourself an even better bargain.
WH verdict
St Lucia (and StolenTime by Rendezvous resort) was an amazing place to learn more about sexual health - and Clio was a fountain of knowledge. If you're in a long-term relationship, or married and feel as though you've lost your mojo in the bedroom, then Clio's words of wisdom will help you figure out where you're going wrong (and leave you with lots to think about).
As a single gal experiencing the workshops, I loved the inclusive environment, which allowed me to talk so openly, especially about body confidence and the male gaze, and made me think twice about past relationships and tips for future ones. But, I would say the workshops are designed primarily for women in relationships who need some guidance about how to reawaken their libido, all in the glorious surroundings of the St Lucia sunshine.
How do I book this holiday?
Rates at StolenTime by Rendezvous resort start at £300pn. BA flights to St Lucia start at £600. Clio Wood's sexual health retreats at Stolen Time occur once a year, check her website for more details.
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