Lady Gaga details suffering a psychotic break after becoming pregnant by her abuser at 19

·2-min read
Photo credit: Jamie McCarthy - Getty Images
Photo credit: Jamie McCarthy - Getty Images

Throughout her career, Lady Gaga has always worn her vulnerability and honesty on her sleeve, especially where mental health is concerned. In the new Apple TV+ series The Me You Can’t See, Gaga steps back into that vulnerable state to open up about her sexual assault and mental health journey.

“I went through a really crazy time in my head that I still work on, and I’m trying to make sure that I give back with that experience instead of locking it away and faking it,” Gaga said to the camera during episode 1 of the new series.

She spoke candidly about her experiences with rape and abuse. While working with a producer when she was 19, she was told to remove all of her clothing. When she refused, the producer threatened to burn all of her music. “They didn’t stop asking me, and then I just froze and I just—,” she said through tears. Gaga refused to call the producer by name. “I do not ever want to face that person again.”

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

Gaga suffered abuse for years, even ending up in a hospital, where she recalls her body feeling pain all over and going numb. She vomited for weeks on end. “I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on the corner at my parents’ house because I was vomiting and sick because I was being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months,” she revealed.

“I had a total psychotic break. And for a couple of years, I was not the same girl,” she added. The singer says that every time she feels pain, it reminds her of the pain she felt when she was being abused.

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This prompted her to seek medical advice from doctors, even though they could never find anything wrong with her body. Gaga says she tried to silence the negative thoughts in her mind by screaming, throwing herself against the wall, and cutting, but it only made her feel worse. “I always tell people, Tell somebody, don’t show somebody,” she said of learning to heal.

The Me You Can’t See is a five-part docuseries on the mental health crisis co-executive produced by Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry. In addition to Gaga’s story, the docuseries also chronicles the mental health journeys of Prince Harry, Oprah, and other individuals from around the world.

The Me You Can’t See is available to stream on Apple TV+ now.

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