As strange as it may seem, and admittedly not much seems strange anymore, there is even more weird election-related activity in America’s courtrooms than the former president*’s new attempts to plumb the Laurentian Abyssal of legal insufficiency. For example, in Michigan, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago’s former legal team from Release The Kraken, LLC is taking a severe beating from a federal judge named Linda Parker. Judge Parker evidently has reached that point that Blackstone once described as “having had enough of your bullshit.”
At the end of June, Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel asked Judge Parker to assess “professional penalties” against Sidney Powell and the other space aliens who defended the former president*’s big lies about how the election was fixed by the voices they shared in their heads. It was Parker who dropkicked their original lawsuit into Lake Huron. From Deadline Detroit:
Powell and other attorneys sued in November, alleging that President Biden won Michigan through voter fraud, and asked that Trump be declared the winner. The judge subsequently ruled that the relief being sought “would disenfranchise the votes of the more than 5.5 million Michigan citizens who, with dignity, hope, and a promise of a voice, participated in the 2020 General Election.”
Nessel thereupon asked Judge Parker to impose sanctions on the Kraken Krewe for having brought the action despite, she alleged, their knowing that its fundamental premises were all lies. She also sought partial recompense of the public money her office spent defending against this fever dream. Judge Parker agreed with Nessel and set a hearing on the matter for Tuesday. At which point, the squirming light was definitely on. From Law and Crime:
Originally scheduled for last week, Judge Parker pushed the hearing back two weeks to accommodate the July 4th vacation plans of one of the lawyers, Stefanie Junttila. After Junttila won that brief allowance, her colleagues Powell, Lin Wood, Scott Hagerstrom, Julia Haller, Brandon Johnson, Howard Kleinhendler, and Gregory Rohl sought to avoid appearing entirely, other than through their lawyer. “Since the Court entered that order, however, Movants retained counsel,” their lawyer Donald Campbell wrote in a motion on Wednesday. “They therefore ask the Court to indicate whether they may appear via counsel.”
Yeah, said Judge Parker, that’s a big old no.
Judge Parker rejected the request without fanfare hours later via in a minute order which proclaimed the request was “DENIED.”
All together now: C’mon and zoom, zoom, zooma, zoom!
In related developments, Rudy Giuliani’s campaign to become a personal injury lawyer with his own billboards along the interstate in Florida continues to gather steam.
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